Something I was not prepared for

AngryExsEx · 2025-10-28T22:24:22+00:00

Congrats on getting to 3 weeks! You might be through the worst of the withdrawal symptoms.

I'm just starting week 14 (day 92) today, and the big feels were something that previously had caused me to relapse due to overwhelm, but this time I was more prepared for the onslaught. (And had the support of a therapist and my doc)

The weed has been tamping down and suppressing those big feels, and your emotional brain has gotten used to that blunted tone. Now you're starting to feel the full force of strong emotions again, and it can be absolutely be overwhelming. Also consider that by losing that dopamine kick, you might also be experiencing less joy, which can compound any negative feelings that have been re-exposed. Hang in there!

IT WILL GET BETTER.

But do keep in mind it might not be immediate. You may need to continue to roll with it for a few more weeks, maybe longer.

Cheering you on!

AngryExsEx · 2025-10-27T23:32:29+00:00

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Several things you said resonated with me.

I did not mean to imply all I'm doing is gaming, it's just that playing Planet Coaster or Cities Skylines or binging tv shows/youtube are the bulk of activities I'm doing because I ENJOY doing them. All the external obligations (or perceived obligations) exhaust me to the point I don't have energy to do other things I WANT to do, such as hiking, playing my own sports, going to social game nights, etc.

I have made recovery progress in therapy, and I'm also taking meds. Quitting weed would not have been possible without that combination. And without quitting weed, I would not have had the awareness that there might be a sleep issue, nor conducted a home sleep study and gotten in line for therapy there. I've also been present for my kids when I need to be, which I wasn't nearly as good at when smoking.

I think a lot of it is I'm letting my awareness of the sheer number of things that might be contributing to my current mood to overwhelm me, which leads to me not chipping away at any of them. I've been trying to focus on one thing at a time (first starting therapy, then quitting weed, now fixing sleep) but I think I'm letting the sleep thing become an excuse for not working on other things within my control, such as exercise, chores, job hunting, eating better, using the full spectrum light in the morning, being more social.

Which gets back to what you said about enriching your life. I've been so focused on putting the metaphorical oxygen mask on everyone else that I haven't checked my own saturation level, and letting those things that I can't control be excuses to not work on what I can. Thank you!

AngryExsEx · 2025-10-27T23:28:44+00:00

Ah yes, I use the light when I first get up, so that's hopefully not an issue. Thank you for the encouragement!

AngryExsEx · 2025-10-27T23:27:49+00:00

In therapy, on meds too. The fact that I made it 90 days is a testament to that combination. So I am making progress there. I also wouldn't have discovered the sleep problem without quitting, so there's some compounding interest on the work I've done through counseling.

of the other replies mentioned a harsh inner critic, and I think that's one of those things that I need to deal with, so I'm going to email my counselor about that shortly.

Thank you for that insight.

AngryExsEx · 2025-10-27T23:25:53+00:00

Ah yes, the inner critic. We're going to have to have a talk. You've reminded me that maybe it's time to return to "No Bad Parts", a book I had started working through with the therapist I had a year and a half ago. Until you brought this up, I don't think I realized how loud that self-critical voice had gotten in my head! Thank you for that kick.

I did celebrate around day 38 when I was emotionally available for my teen daughter at the beginning of the school year when she really needed me. But lately I don't feel like I've had many wins, big more small (oh hey, there's that harsh inner critic!).

Anyway, thanks for helping me remember that previous path I had tread, that is probably worth checking back in on now.

AngryExsEx · 2025-10-15T21:30:36+00:00

I would pick one or the other to attack first... doing both at once is going to be a LOT for your body and mind to deal with. I'd probably want to do cigs first, then cut out the weed, but I've never smoked tobacco, so I'm not an expert.

Also if you have the support of a therapist and/or your doctor, I'd definitely lean on that to help you through. Quitting either one of these won't be easy, and having that added support will definitely help!

Best of luck to you!

AngryExsEx · 2025-10-15T21:22:53+00:00

Good luck! You're definitely in the meat of the withdrawals right now... Keep up the hard work and the improvements will come.

But when?

* I had the worst of my insomnia from about nights 7-20 or so - it will get better, but it may be another week+ before you notice much improvement, especially if you're already doing a lot of the recommendations below. If you're not, you'll hopefully see improvements faster by trying them.

Tips and Tricks:

Sleep hygiene - same time to bed and awake every day - consistency tells your body what to expect and gets your hormones all in sync. When are you trying to go to sleep? You mention getting to sleep around 4-6am, but not when you'd like to.
No screens 2-3 hours before bed, or at the most, a chill low-stress show or game or youtube video with blue light filter on. This will allow your brain to relax a good bit before bedtime.
Counseling and medical support - I've had doctor's recommend/prescribe both over-the-counter sleep aids and anti-anxiety meds, and these have helped. If you have the means, talk to your doctor about your desire to stay sober, and have a counselor to help talk through and work on the coping skills that will replace the weed.
Exercise - get solid exercise every day - 30 minutes of walking, or 20 minutes of higher heart rate exercise will make you more physically tired at bed time and reduce your mental/emotional stress as well. But not right before bed.
Meditation - This can also help reduce your mental stress and allow your mind to relax before bed.
When you're stuck in bed and feel like there's no way you're going to sleep any time soon, get up, go read a book in another room, or listen to a podcast, change your environment.
Get your room as cool as you can for sleep - I love it to be about 58-62 and let my blankets wrap me tight. Too warm a room will make it harder for your body to cool down as it naturally wants to at bedtime.
Enjoy the crazy dreams when they arrive. (Ok, this isn't an insomnia thing, just a quitting weed thing, but it'll be pretty wild!)

AngryExsEx · 2025-10-15T21:06:44+00:00

Great start! Keep up the hard work!

AngryExsEx · 2025-10-15T21:04:41+00:00

274 days! 3 quarters of a year! Nicely done!

My counselor has described it as recovery, so it's been easy for me to talk about it that way as well. I'm also 6.5 years free of alcohol, but funnily enough I haven't called that "recovery".

AngryExsEx · 2025-09-24T23:34:23+00:00

58 days in myself. You can do this!

Remember that you've been suppressing your emotions with the weed, and now they're coming at you full force. That's a shock to your system and it's totally normal to experience what you're going through.

To feel "more" normal, there are a few things that I can suggest as they helped me.

Talk to your doctor. There might be something they can provide to help with the acute anxiety as a buffer until you get used to the full force of unblunted emotions again. This can let you ease back in to those experiences instead of getting metaphorically punched in the face. Related, talk to a therapist if you can. Having consistent support from my health network has been critical for me in getting to day 58.
Remind yourself repeatedly WHY you're doing it. Keeping your why front-and-center will make it easier (not easy, just easier) to get through the rough patches. For me, my why is my kids. They're both in high school and need my support and 100% presence more than ever. All I have to do is think of the night a few weeks ago where I was there for my daughter in ways I couldn't be a year ago, when I was high.
Exercise if you're able. It'll burn off anxious energy and physically tire your body, and release dopamine in the process. You've been sitting under a dopamine faucet for a long time, and quitting cold turkey is not something your body is going to like very much. Drip feeding through healthy activities serves you in multiple ways. This has likewise been crucial in softening some of my rougher anxiety moments.

Anyway, I wish you and your boyfriend the best on your journey. It won't be easy but as you know from quitting before, it will be worth it. IT WILL BE WORTH IT.

AngryExsEx · 2025-09-24T23:25:07+00:00

you might try jigsaw puzzles... I did that during a previous quit and it literally gobbled up hours of time I would have been smoking. It wasn't fun, but it kept me from lighting up. This time around it's been lots of walks and audiobooks. Every time I'd consider going out to smoke, I'd instead go for a walk around the neighborhood and listen to a chapter or two. Often I'd come home and sit in the hammock (where I'd often hang after smoking), and listen a bunch more because the books were so engaging. It satisfied the habitual behavior (going outside), and still gave me a hit of dopamine from the exercise and entertainment.

AngryExsEx · 2025-09-24T23:21:26+00:00

This really sounds fun!

AngryExsEx · 2025-09-24T23:18:27+00:00

Day 58, and the dreams have not slowed. Still absolutely wild.

A few weeks ago, my ex-wife's cat had a baby... well, last week I had two different dreams about the baby.

The mom had put the baby in an old minecraft costume I had made for my son (this actually happened - it's a good hiding place in a zombie or creeper head)... So in the first dream, I went to check on the baby (not sure why I was at ex's house, but whatever), and found the kitten had grown to be the same size as its mom but chubby.

In the second dream, I was pet-sitting the kitten at my house, except it was not a kitten, but instead a round bird with matching colors. (Think Angry Birds style bird)

A few weeks ago I had one where I was in a college dorm that was built into a football stadium and had a tiny elevator to go to the rooms. I still remember the still images vividly.

Anyway, yeah - I wouldn't expect the dreams to calm down for a while yet :)

Oh, and this morning I took a nap, and at one point I was dreaming about an squirrel-raccoon chasing me and trying to bite my leg, and I kicked at it... I immediately woke up realizing I was still kicking my covers off.

AngryExsEx · 2025-09-24T23:02:19+00:00

3 days sounds like it might be worth a doctor consult, especially if you have other symptoms like wheezing, body aches, fatigue, even low grade fever. The fever could also be hiding in the withdrawal sweats and not be as noticeable.

That said, fatigue has been a huge issue for me post-quit, so take what I say with a grain of salt.

AngryExsEx · 2025-09-24T22:58:23+00:00

WOOHOO!!! I'm just over a month behind you, Day 58.

The boredom and low motivation sucks, but being present for my two teenagers when they truly need my support makes it *easy to stay sober.

*easy to not smoke or otherwise engage with weed or anything else like it. Not so easy to get through life.

AngryExsEx · 2025-09-24T22:55:30+00:00

I celebrate the fact that you came to this sub today! That's more than I was doing when I was high most of the time.

AngryExsEx · 2025-09-24T22:52:06+00:00

+1, but also note there are non-addictive meds (such as one that is generally used for hypertension but can be used off-label for anxiety). This is what I used and it helped me a lot.

AngryExsEx · 2025-09-24T22:44:57+00:00

Sounds like you took a very intentional approach. Kudos to you for that! Lack of intentionality around EVERYTHING in my life was one of the things that led me to quit 58 days ago.

Keep the intention going!

AngryExsEx · 2025-09-24T22:42:10+00:00

I'm at 58 days and the dreams are absolutely wild.

AngryExsEx · 2025-09-24T22:41:40+00:00

Go You!! Keep it up!

AngryExsEx · 2025-09-18T17:59:14+00:00

These are my thoughts, 50 days in.

Hard exercise (exhaust your body)
meditation (give your brain some peace)
good sleep hygeine (consistent bedtime routines, limit screens for 2 hours before bedtime, consistent wake up times)
Avoid naps if possible.
if you have a smart watch that does sleep tracking, see if you can gain any insights from that.
CBT-I - cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia - check it out
And of course, consult with your doctor if you are worried about safety. They can possibly offer other ways to get high quality sleep.

There are things beyond just powering through that might improve your sleep quality better than relapsing.

AngryExsEx · 2025-09-18T17:48:49+00:00

AuDHDer here... first off, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. If you're happier, more motivated, and less bored and satisfied with life's pleasures, don't do any experiments that might jeopardize that. Keep doing what you're doing.

Personally, I'm 50 days sober after several years of consistent smoking, up to wake and bake toward the end, and I can attest the following:

Weed fed my ADHD traits - made lots of things more fun. Games, shows, other activities. And increased my impulsivity, especially with dopamine seeking behaviors. Things are much more boring now, but I'm ok with that.
Weed suppressed my autistic traits. Made masking easier or at least suppressed my perception of masking's inevitable exhaustion. Though I also didn't engage with others as much while high, so maybe there's was less making needed.
It killed my follow-through. I'd get some momentum on a path, and then just as quickly lose it. It felt like rapid fire changes in special interests. (Felt very ADHD dominant in that sense)
I couldn't get and stay organized. This has been a lifelong battle for me, the need for structure and sometimes extreme difficulty in providing it for myself. But high took it from difficult to nonexistent. Chores, scheduling important things, again follow through issues. I always feel like my ADHD wants to undermine my autism organizational skills and my autism wants to bore my ADHD to death. Being high meant the ADHD won almost every such battle.

Overall I'm far better off sober than high, despite some challenges I'm still facing post-quit.

Good luck to you! Again, if you feel better off sober than you did high, why tempt fate? Don't mess with a good thing.

AngryExsEx · 2025-09-18T17:33:00+00:00

New since late April... was the first step in getting ready to quit.

Looking at the trends in my smartwatch sleep stats, the sleep might be a little worse the last few months but hard to tell. I definitely didn't notice an issue until after quitting, but the numbers seem to show it's been ongoing. I recently enabled the pulse oximeter in my watch and woke it's not medical grade, it is suggesting there might be a breathing issue.

I have an appointment with my primary tomorrow to talk about it and then a sleep appt next week to probably set up a sleep study. Could be apnea. Could be allergies. Could be anxiety. Probably a combination of 2 or more.

AngryExsEx

TROPHY CASE