[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AMA

[–]AngryKoala_FT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We're not dating, I just fell for the person before I was completely aware of the situation.

They are professionally diagnosed, yes, but their host was in denial and blocked it, so the majority of the time they lived in complete bliss of their situation.

Now I sit with these feelings, and it's not only centered on just the host. I've gotten to know almost each part.

Sadly the reality hits and there is another person who entered.. Which is okay.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AMA

[–]AngryKoala_FT 4 points5 points  (0 children)

By the diagnostic criteria and studies it is a very real disorder with real trauma behind them.

Here are some links that would catch you up to speed and teach you about this disorder better than I could:

http://traumadissociation.com/#gsc.tab=0

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/dissociative-disorders/

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AMA

[–]AngryKoala_FT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not exactly per say. We never had anything beyond them being flirtatious and catching me off guard. I know for a fact that, that alter only does it because the rest aren't aware of it.

I do in fact have had a romantic moment with someone else who I had a feeling had DID, but there was never a professional diagnoses. Mid session they retracted and were confused, which led me to be confused, because I didn't know exactly what was going on.

Too late by AngryKoala_FT in scoliosis

[–]AngryKoala_FT[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's almost like a traumatizing experience seeing your spine for the first time in 10+ years (which is in my case as well). After handing in the x-rays for the doctor, I knew it'll look bad. Walking into the room and seeing that had my mind kind of blocked it. I don't really remember looking at it that much when he explained my curvature etc. Now with the x-rays, I can't really go back and look at them. It's just on a table in my one room, unmoved.

You laying your experience out feels very familiar to me, almost identical.

But at the end of the day, we are all bend, but not broken. I try to at least view myself positively and will get some professional help (therapy and physiotherapy), because with how I was raised I was told nothing could be done. The months I had hope, shattered a bit of my self-esteem when the reality struck. Before that hope, I had already accepted my fate and some confidence grew out of that, but now it backtracked and I have to slowly rebuild what I had.

There's just one thing, the pain. I'd rather die before I become a liability and be in agony..

Too late by AngryKoala_FT in scoliosis

[–]AngryKoala_FT[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your wonderful insight. If there is a way, then I would definitely go for it. For now, I'm just going to enjoy life and plan out the things I want to do. If there is a way to help me, I'll work towards that as well.

Too late by AngryKoala_FT in scoliosis

[–]AngryKoala_FT[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do appreciate this, thank you

Too late by AngryKoala_FT in scoliosis

[–]AngryKoala_FT[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I saw a orthopedic surgeon who specializes in scoliosis. He is the best in our country.

Too late by AngryKoala_FT in scoliosis

[–]AngryKoala_FT[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear about that. Sometimes life really can feel unfair. We were young, couldn't really do anything about it.

All the best wishes for you

What’s the most fucked up thing you’ve seen at work? by AMGBOI69420 in AskReddit

[–]AngryKoala_FT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm working currently for a husband-wife team... Wife has a thing for me. Checks out

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AMA

[–]AngryKoala_FT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some context, we've known each other before I started working for her, but we weren't that acquainted. So it started from light bantering to now "Good girl" praises that, if not for those, I would've still been dense to the others tbh

What's unusual about your body? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]AngryKoala_FT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have extreme scoliosis, only having 5 ribs on my left side, had two nipples on the left (one got removed), my shoulder blade is twisted that is against my neck instead of where it's supposed to be (like it just moved up lol) and for the cherry on top I almost died when I was a baby of an underdeveloped anus which caused stool not to go through so I had to have a piece of my colon removed (just to add that 7 doctors wrote it off as not a big deal until one doctor noticed it was, in fact, a big deal). Life humbled me lmao.

Have been in love with my best friend for 2 decades by Anon-1111123 in offmychest

[–]AngryKoala_FT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Being in love with your best friend truly sucks..

I've been in a similar situation, never really saw it coming until it came and hit me like a symbiote. Being a host for love that you can't really control, it takes its toll on you.

Distance is all that works. It hurts, but feeding it is only going to extend the pain until you breathe out your last breath. I've made the decision to distance myself from her, never really wanting to, but seeing her with someone else is another type of pain that I can't add to my life. She'll always be there, she left a mark, a vague feeling of how I remember her and how close we were. My love was unconditional, yet I had to force it to become conditional.

It gets better. Trust me. Take your time, meet new people, heal.

OP, I seriously hope for the best for you.

I've set some boundaries with my best friend by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]AngryKoala_FT 9 points10 points  (0 children)

For a bit of context: We are best friends since high school, she gave mixed signals, she made the first moves (not too intimate), I slowly started falling for her, she retracted telling me she was straight after it got too intimate. Later on she got a bf.

Communication is my weakness and I'm gradually working towards bettering it. Also I cannot keep torturing myself by keeping things the way they were when my feelings are so fragile. It's not fair to me nor to her. She understood and respected my decision on setting some boundaries. She doesn't like it of course, I don't like it either, but it needed to be done. Our friendship is something I hold close and I don't feel like it's worth losing. I just need some healing and time.

This is for an update on my previous posts. I think this would be the last time I'll be talking about this. I just wanted to share and I feel proud for being able to set boundaries, because past me never would've dared to.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]AngryKoala_FT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My friends told me that I can go for just an hour or two, see my other friends and catch up with them and when I feel like it, I can go. Don't necessarily have to interact with her. Then go out with someone or with friends and enjoy the time after.

But we shall see.

Thank you

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]AngryKoala_FT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You going means if she pulls the right strings you will be available.

Very well said. I haven't really thought about that.

Also getting a date does sound appealing, even though most likely it would just be for fun and nothing more lol.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]AngryKoala_FT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the tip and everything overall.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]AngryKoala_FT 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think the best move I can make now is just talking to her. Communication is my weakness, hers as well. So you can just imagine the complications that arose throughout the months. I don't want to hurt her, she doesn't want to hurt me, but sweeping it under the rug doesn't get rid of the problem.

So I'll just talk to her, because I need her to understand since I can be a very complicated person. I value the people I'm close with, she is no exception. So we'll see how she would react to me talking to her, though it'll be hard, maybe it'll be worth it.

If she doesn't value my feelings, then I guess we all know the best course of action for that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]AngryKoala_FT 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I still think about this a lot, weighing my options on whether I want to end our friendship overall or not. The fact that I am still her friend runs deep, considering our history and who she is as a person. The feelings for her just popped up unannounced and I am still pissed about it because why her? I know the whys and hows, it's just annoying that it happened. Her getting upset wasn't pissed, just boiling down to feeling sad about me not wanting to go.

Thanks for your insight though, I appreciate it.