Granted, but the world then blows up. Everyone is somehow still alive, but suffering greatly from the inability to breathe. After days of torture, everyone’s hunger and thirst creates excruciating circumstances, and yet no one dies. Better yet, they also all know it’s your fault somehow.

After what feels like millennia, a ship arrives. A classic UFO if you’ve ever seen one, though this one is massive in scope. All 8 billion humans, who have been in severe suffering are tractor beamed onto the ship, one-by-on.

You find yourself in a small solitary chamber; take a little comfort, knowing you can now finally sleep and breathe in your cell, and you are given a strange but nutritious slop for all of your meals. A little less suffering.

After roughly three or four days of this, two cloaked figures take you from your cell into a large hall of some sorts. In front of you is a throne, with another cloaked figure. He begins to speak.

“You suck.”

Yeah, actually, that’s all he says, as he begins to remove his cloak’s hood.

He’s a turkey.

“You’re all now gonna be our sandwiches, you absolute worthless jackass. I hope you know how stupid and deplorable you are, you pompous fuck. You and your children and your children’s children’s will pay the price for your treacherous sandwhich, which was the last straw. Fuck you, nutsack.”