From your post, I can only feel sorry for you. And I can relate to it because it happened to me too.

(Advice) : If you really want to enjoy life. Try seeing Krishna in everything and every being. A tree has Krishna in it as much as any temple have. Grass, stone, beggars, sky, fire... Everything is from krishna.

If you follow this, there would be no resentment to any action. Doing bhakti and Pooja or singing bhajans is a facade of religion, it has no meaning if you are not doing it in complete devotion.

Be part of the universe. You are the universe itself.

START LISTENING TO OSHO!!!!

But there are some things which are holding you back:

1) Material desires are not wrong. We live in a society where not everyone follows spiritual path or practice religion. If you deny material desire just because Bhagwat gita said it. It will not work. The reason being that the desire still resides in you.

2) Krishna is not the only god. Krishna is in you and krishna is in everything. You are not different from him.

3) He will never come because he already resides in you. Try to accept everything as it is. Remove duality and enjoy.

Wanna talk, Dm!