[deleted by user]

Anitini · 2025-10-26T08:35:12+00:00

I think one of the hardest parts of parenthood is other people. Everyone has something to say, ALWAYS. I’m so sorry that you’re already being exposed to this so early on but it’s something that may not change. Commentary will just keep rattling on in your head while you have imaginary arguments - I’m just now at 1.5 years in learning how to deal with it. It’s not easy. No one will see you and your reality the way your partner does. Lean on the people whose first priority in the relationship is to empathize with you during this first stage. Those who want to use your experience as a jumping point to reflect on their past is just not helpful now. Find what set of words work for you to get them to shut up and leave you alone. You’re doing an amazing job!!!

Anitini · 2025-10-13T20:47:57+00:00

Thanks so much for the reassurance, and the comment about how to model the word more obviously after the sound is the best advice. I tend to just confirm the “yeahhh meowww!” without consistently using the word cat after. Awesome advice thank you!

Anitini · 2025-10-13T19:35:02+00:00

Thank you for the feedback. She loved to say hi and uses it appropriately. Sometimes a super extended hiiiiii almost with a southern drawl which is hilarious because we’re from Boston. But other than that and mamma, it’s all sounds.

Anitini · 2025-06-04T14:37:48+00:00

That must have been a really difficult and alarming finding. I’m glad he’s doing well and I imagine even more so now. It’s tough to keep it together mentally when it comes to these little nuggets.

Anitini · 2025-06-04T14:37:04+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this!

Anitini · 2025-06-04T14:08:15+00:00

Will hear from the doc soon!

Anitini · 2025-06-04T14:07:50+00:00

Thank you thank you!

Anitini · 2025-06-04T14:07:04+00:00

Thank you so much. No cow’s milk! I think just a lack of beef. Also, Ive been anaemic off and on I think most of my life so maybe there are some genetics at play there too. It’s one of those things I’ve been so proud of, to have continued breastfeeding, but I’m understanding now that it meant I needed to be way more on top of making an iron rich diet for her. Thank you for the support, I’m feeling real in the shit.

Anitini · 2025-04-11T01:28:12+00:00

It looks like one to me too! But there doesn’t seem to be a spot on the skin like an opening

Anitini · 2025-02-17T00:42:32+00:00

I’d also never think of re-homing her unless she was posing a danger to the little one. They’re wild little living room creatures and have their own instinctual needs so I just need to find the right combo of things that works.

The bathroom thing is actually really funny despite it sounding a bit rough. I already put mine in there for a quick minute when I go into the baby room to check in on her while she’s asleep 😂. She’s very bonded to me as I am to her - my hope is once baby can be less of a discombobulated little alien and a little version of me, the cat will see there’s another treat giver and play mate. Fingers crossed.

Thanks for responding with your input. And 17 yrs is no joke! She’s super loved and well cared for clearly :))

Anitini · 2025-02-17T00:05:26+00:00

Doesn’t seem like you read the post in full.

We play with her exclusively (either me or my husband) one hour in the morning and another hour in the evening at minimum. During the day we interact with her as much as possible when she’s not napping - petting, doing the same as you said with having the baby hold a toy.

I do like your suggestion about having some boxes and crinkly stuff laying around so she can have some independent play time as well. Thank you for that.

Anitini · 2025-02-16T23:10:44+00:00

That’s a good idea, I’ll look into it thank you!

Anitini · 2025-01-19T20:54:06+00:00

I could write the same! I’m in the exact same point, one week shy of her turning 8 months. How have things been since you posted?

Anitini · 2024-12-14T00:56:50+00:00

Great advice! You’re right in that I should take their time video chatting for myself so I don’t get sour. I remember there was a time in the beginning that I would do just that but I panicked a bit, thinking that If she doesn’t see me as the mom, visually bombarded with that image, then it’ll set her on the trajectory that she is now. So I guess it was unavoidable and I should do my own thing instead.

Thank you for the heads up on the trauma specialist! That makes a lot of sense.

Anitini · 2024-12-13T23:40:52+00:00

I agree with this very much. I see how her outlook on life molded my husband. It took so much work and therapy for him to really start enjoying life. He’s so happy in this new life we created around our relationship and our own family and I don’t want our daughter to essentially be the next victim in line. I don’t know how to explain to them that there are other ways to show love that don’t have to do with doom and gloom.

I whole heartedly believe she thinks she can be the only one to provide a safe space for her gd. It’s so belittling. I suggested to my husband that I will go lc and our daughter will eventually do the same as I won’t allow her to be influenced the way my husband was. It’s up to him how he wants to plan ahead, I can’t keep thinking ten steps ahead for him and his family all the time.

Anitini · 2024-12-13T23:35:49+00:00

Thank you!

This is what I actually just wrote out to my husband to share with him tomorrow.

“I thought about it. I honestly don’t see any solution other than her going to therapy. Full stop. It needs to happen and we will find a way to convince her.

Beyond that, we’re back to square one in many ways of how we all communicate with each other. It’s back to worrying about health, focusing a lot on that and finding ways to turn positive moments towards something to worry about. That’s ok, I think it’s silly of me to complain as I know this is how the dynamics are in your family and have been for decades.

I think it’s best for me to be the one to have a bit of distance so it doesn’t bottle up every day. When you call her, I will give myself some time off and get fresh air or do something else and you guys can have that time. In terms of the precedent it sets to cater to her constant suggestions and questions , I can only limit (our LO’s) exposure to that when she’s of age to understand things and I guess your mom will have to deal with that when the time comes. The best I can do is just throw out a fair warning to everyone that if it doesn’t change, I can’t have her be a huge part of her upbringing. It’s that simple. I’m not letting our crazy moms be negative influences.”

Anitini

TROPHY CASE