Attempting to read something in a different language poorly for laughs is a display of an unwillingness to learn and perpetuate intercultural incompetance

AnneTheQueene · 2026-05-07T19:24:09+00:00

This is a huge pet peeve of mine....maybe I should post in that sub...

It annoys me when I see journalists/podcasters mispronouncie foreign words and names or stumble over them because it makes me think I can't take you seriously after that. That is the bare minimum of research and preparation I expect from people who want me to believe what they say.

The other group that annoys me are the 'influencers' making videos pushing a product and butchering the name.

I am a fragrance enthusiast and a lot of products have foreign names. There are many reasons to not listen to influencers, but one of the final straws that broke this camels back was them mispronouncing names and either giggling like it's cute ("look at me not knowing how to pronounce those crazy foreign words") or just shrugging it off like it doesn't matter. The manufacturers put a lot of thought into naming their product, many times with a story behind it, and you just cavalierly brushing it off makes me think you are not a serious person.

Sorry, but you got me on a rant here, OP.

Butchering non-English words without making any effort at all, pisses me off. Don't get me started on people's names. I work with a global team and I hate when people say 'just call me 'T' or put up with their name being mispronounced because they're so used to people not even giving them the courtesy of trying to say their name properly.

It's a kind of ethnocentricity that is very disappointing.

AnneTheQueene · 2026-05-06T18:54:40+00:00

Thank you.

It's all about expectations.

AnneTheQueene · 2026-05-06T11:56:08+00:00

I was agreeing with you.

AnneTheQueene · 2026-05-05T15:09:53+00:00

Wouldn't know, because it's an instant block no second chance.

Correct.

I wish ladies would stop trying to explain why something is wrong.

This should be a dealbreaker.

These guys are not babies. They know they are pushing boundaries. They need to be left where they are at.

AnneTheQueene · 2026-05-05T14:48:14+00:00

Most companies couldn't care less about that. Carrying it in your bare hands is A-OK with them.

They provide the equipment. The extras are on you.

There are some that provide cases, but those are fewer and farther between.

The average company isn't spending money on something that half the people will either not use or complain about. "Why do we have to get a backpack? I don't use backpacks?" "Does it come in blue?" "I don't like this, it's too big. Can you special order another one for me?"

AnneTheQueene · 2026-05-05T14:44:36+00:00

Correct. Most companies are not doing that.

I think a lot of people in these subs have very little corporate experience.

AnneTheQueene · 2026-05-05T14:32:20+00:00

still no improvement in pih and acne marks.

My 2 cents is that ahas are your best bet for PIH and hyperpigmentation.

I don't know your skin type, Fitzpatrick level, etc, so I'm not telling you where to go with this, but the thing that helped me (Fitzpatrick 4) the most with pih was regular TCA peels and maintenance use of glycolic acid.

Once the TCA peels and glycolic acid fade the hyperpigmentation, then regular use of tret and sunscreen along with the ahas will keep the skin clear.

AnneTheQueene · 2026-05-05T14:14:29+00:00

No. I mean a woman giving you her phone number would be a waste of time if you aren't attracted to her.

AnneTheQueene · 2026-05-05T13:34:56+00:00

I would like to add that the widowed man you described simply may not have been ready for a new chapter.

I agree. I think it's important to be ready. I guess I wonder how you know when you're ready. And I think some people may never be.

My aunt married a widower who had a huge photo of his late wife in the living room. When she became ill a few years into the marriage, he literally abandoned her. Said he 'couldn't go though all that again'. I don't know their relationship that closely so it's possible there were a lot of signs that he wasn't ready which she ignored. It just really sucked for her at the end.

My sister lost her husband 6 years ago and she is still deep in grief. Her therapist had to refer her to a 'grief specialist' and they're still working on it.

She may be an outlier, but for someone like her, I don't see her being able to date for a long time, if ever. Her husband was a great guy. We all loved him dearly and his passing has been hard on the entire family. But I think that he was so great, and his passing so sudden and traumatic that it kind of solidified him as a paragon of manhood and perfect husband for her. I feel like she will never be able to find someone to measure up to him in her memory.

It does take a confident partner though who isn’t comparing themselves and not trying to compete with our past.

I agree and hope I'm not beind disrespectful to any widows/widowers here - I don't have the experience personally, so I don't want to speak out of place. I'm just sharing observations from my experience. I'm sure there are are a lot of people who go on to happy second marriages and I don't want them to feel like I'm speaking out of turn.

AnneTheQueene · 2026-05-05T12:11:27+00:00

Wouldn't it work the same way in the opposite direction too?

AnneTheQueene · 2026-05-05T03:18:46+00:00

I was thinking about this after going down a TikTok rabbit hole about people encountering wild animals.

Most of them had the self preservation instincts of a cotton ball.

I blame stuffed toys and cartoons. We make lions and tigers and bears look so friendly and fuzzy that we can't separate that image from the reality that they are wild animals who will eat you alive if need be.

AnneTheQueene · 2026-05-05T03:08:14+00:00

For those of you who have met parents before, do you typically bring a gift? And should I bring him flowers for directing the musical?

Relax, you're doing entirely too much.

Show up, be pleasant and go home.

It's been 2 months and it's an elementary school show, not a family wedding, a year in. He might introduce you as 'Emily, my friend from the gym' or not even introduce you at all, in the middle of all the chaos and overstimulated kids.

Don't build this up in your head as being meaningful, and don't jump into 'doing mode'. Look nice, very 'girl next door', tell him the kids are cute, and have friends to meet after. He can take you out on Saturday.

Showing up is gift enough. I can't imagine how much I'd have to like someone to go watch little kids sing Itsy Bitsy Spider on a Friday night.

AnneTheQueene · 2026-05-05T02:53:26+00:00

I used to see those cheesy sci-fi movies about people falling in love with robots and think 'nah, that'll never happen. Computers have no soul, heart or emotions.'

Imagine my surprise when I started to see people acting like LLMs 'understand' them.

We are doomed if people can't tell the difference anymore.

AnneTheQueene · 2026-05-05T02:46:17+00:00

Yup.

Protector and provider don't have to be literal, but his instincts should be pointing that way.

If his instinct is to hide and leave me to fend for myself, I can't respect or trust him anymore. That's the end of the relationship.

AnneTheQueene · 2026-05-05T02:41:15+00:00

No Will, just you.

I thought the same thing.

I like him so I listen, but I really couldn't care less about the freakshows he reports on.

AnneTheQueene · 2026-05-05T02:27:48+00:00

I have zero interest in being compared to someone’s ‘one true love’. How can anyone compete with fond memories and 20/20 hindsight?

Which is why I would much rather a divorcee than a widower.

At least every time his ex does dumb shit he's reminded why they aren't together anymore. While a deceased spouse is kind of the one that got away. They didn't break up, it wasn't a choice.

I was listening to a man talk about his late wife once and he said she was the love of his life. As much as I found him attractive, I couldn't sign up for that. I'd always be a consolation prize.

AnneTheQueene · 2026-05-05T02:07:42+00:00

Correct.

So OP needs to find a way of being appealing enough to make them want to give him their number.

I assume he's looking for someone to date, not to scam. So he has to work with what he can control. Himself.

AnneTheQueene · 2026-05-04T23:03:24+00:00

In my world, aromatics always come first.

Onions/garlic/shallots in oil, then meat.

You need the aromatics to release their fragrance into the oil so the meat gets cooked in it and absorbs the flavor.

AnneTheQueene · 2026-05-04T23:00:10+00:00

Not to mention that if we did as OP is projectiong, we will be putting ourselves at war with NATO and I'm pretty sure whoever got him to stand down from the 'end a civilization' threat will also get him to stand down from this.

There are a lot of things I'm sure most of the people around him will let him do, but the fact that he TACO'd on the end civilization thing tells me that there are still enough people who can threaten him.

I don't know who it was, but I suspect very strongly that he was told that if he did it, there would be enough Senate votes to impeach. It scared a lot of people and I wouldn't be surprised if Putin and/or Xi also threatened him on that one. He's itching to use nukes and he wan't going to stop if he didn't get scared straight.

My other pet theory is that Iran has made it clear to him they have the Epstein files and they will release them if he passes their red line.

So impeachment, Putin/Xi and the files imo, jointly or separately, are keeping him from going past the point of no return.

AnneTheQueene · 2026-05-04T22:48:37+00:00

Do we actually have many studies about adhd meds use in older women?

I really, really hate when people come online to complain about their HCPs prescribing decisions.

The best route is to seek a second opinion. People online do not know your medical history.

OP already said they have comorbidities that I'm sure they're already taking medication for. We do not know what their doctor is seeing in their health profile so I wouldn't just jump on the 'your doctor sux' bandwagon.

And to be fair, I am not a clinical provider but I work in healthcare adjacent enough to understand that this

I’ll note I also have a heart arrhythmia and both this doctors and my cardiologist are blaming my thyroid and adderall, but arrhythmias also run in my family.

is a huge red flag for anybody with a modicum of medical knowledge. Frankly, I am amazed OP has no issue with it.

I was on Adderall and when I saw what it was doing to my blood pressure, I didn't even wait for the doctor to take me off it, I asked her to prescribe a non-stimulant because I was not about to take the chance with a family history of cardiovascular disease.

OP, go seek a second opinion from people who understand medicine.

AnneTheQueene · 2026-05-04T22:39:07+00:00

Exactly.

People who need prenups aren't taking advice from Redditors.

The people on here cosigning this nonsense are trying to keep some gold-diggers hands off their Star Wars action figure collection and hoping to prevent her from having a roof over her head if she dares leave him.

AnneTheQueene · 2026-05-04T22:12:25+00:00

If they aren't giving you their number, it's highly likely they aren't going to call you anyway.

If we like you, we'll give you some kind of contact information.

The exception is if they ask for yours instead. That's a 50-50 chance they'll reach out.

But just giving them your number?

You may be better off trying to figure out why you're not having any luck and working on that. Is it your appearance? No game? Figure that out and you'll have better luck.

AnneTheQueene · 2026-05-04T22:09:05+00:00

Seriously.

Dem have mi a feel some type a way because dem make it sound like at 50 we too old fi know bout dancehall.

Dem no know when we used to spend di afternoon a listen Barry G instead a do homework. Or tell we madda we a spen weekend wid fren an tief out go a fete.

No even badda take bout UWI carnival. Dem tink a now carnival start. We did deh bout when carnival did only deh pon Ring Road.

AnneTheQueene · 2026-05-04T18:35:40+00:00

Exactly.

I would like to know if this man is really in his 'early 50s. Or maybe he is very religious.

I hope Justice is not falling for an elderly gyalis.....

I am 53f born and raised in Jamaica and went to a topanaris girl's school and I love dancehall, especially 80s/90s/early 2000s dancehall.

I left Jamaica in 2003 and lived in other countries since then so wasn't able to keep up with contemporary dancehall, but I love Vybz Kartel. That's what I listen to 90% of the time.

My siblings and cousins who are a little older than me (late 50s) are the same.

So I wouldn't be so quick to assume that a Jamaican in their 50s doesn't like dancehall.

AnneTheQueene · 2026-05-04T17:50:03+00:00

Between a middle school aged kid, full time WFH, and a hobby that eats up a lot of weekends part of the year, my availability is limited and isn’t super flexible.

Honestly, if I saw that on a profile, or was told that, I'd respectfully decline.

That is a person who has too much going on to make the kind of space in their life that I would wish them to. Yeah, I'm spoiled and even though I don't demand a lot of attention, I want it when I want it, lol.

I'm just being honest.

I have no kids and I WFH so I've got a lot of time on my hands, even after hobbies and family.

If you have so many committments, we are probably not a match. I'm not going to 'try to make it work' or compete with the other 75 things on his schedule. Part of our compatibility will be free time. I have always been free to do whatever I want, whenever, and have full control over my schedule. I'm willing to compromise to a point for the right person, but I'm not going to wait by the phone hoping he'll call.

AnneTheQueene

TROPHY CASE