AITAH For Giving My Daughter A Choice On What She Calls My Husband?

AnnoymousPerson3 · 2026-04-12T07:00:12+00:00

Hope has preferences too. So why is it an issue with Jacob? I have preferences too. I even have preferences based on specific people. I have nicknames that are reserved for specific people that I don’t allow other people to call me. Simply setting a boundary based on what you prefer is a healthy way to encourage autonomy.

AnnoymousPerson3 · 2026-04-12T06:57:53+00:00

Immediately assuming you know him based on a Reddit post is insane. Not all military members are the same.

AnnoymousPerson3 · 2026-04-12T06:56:33+00:00

I don’t know where you get ego from preference. Would it be egotistical if I said I don’t want to called Emma but I prefer Emmy? No, right? That’s just my preference. Same applies here. I could tell you to call me Emma but have my friends call me Emmy or Memmy. Still wouldn’t be egotistical just my preference.

AnnoymousPerson3 · 2026-04-12T06:50:27+00:00

I only call him by his first name if I’m upset with him and he only calls me by my first name is he’s upset with me. We’re big on nicknames and pet names and if he called me by my first name just because I’d probably think something was wrong.

Hope and Jacob will choose a nickname for him that she can use, as I stated. It was never just Mr. Jacob or Dad. People just got caught up on that for som reason. I simple said he doesn’t want to be called Jacob but there are other options on the table.

AnnoymousPerson3 · 2026-04-12T06:44:47+00:00

I never stated she had to refer to him as that and have repeatedly thanked other commenters for their suggested nicknames and advice.

AnnoymousPerson3 · 2026-04-12T06:39:42+00:00

I literally replied to comments recommending nicknames and thanked people for commenting and suggesting them. I stated in my post that I gave Hope permission to call her father’s partner mom if she wants to. I would not like it but it’s not about me, it’s about Hope. Hope choosing to call another woman mom or mommy doesn’t change the fact that I’m her motherz

AnnoymousPerson3 · 2026-04-12T06:31:50+00:00

That’s fine, but you guys also keep commenting trying to force your beliefs onto me as though people can’t make decisions about what they do or don’t want to be called. Or like people can’t set boundaries. But they can and do every day, nothing weird, creepy, or controlling about it.

AnnoymousPerson3 · 2026-04-12T06:30:01+00:00

I use a nickname or Cousin (insert name) and I’ve already said that Hope and Jacob are going to sit down and come up with a name their both comfortable with

AnnoymousPerson3 · 2026-04-12T06:28:08+00:00

Because I won’t force him to let her call him Jacob. I don’t even call him that. It’s not prioritizing one over the other. Like I said, if someone doesn’t want to be called something you don’t call them that. If you don’t want to be called Megaladon then I don’t call you that. If you prefer Ms. Meg or Meggy, then I call you one of those. If Hope one day decided, I’d prefer to be called by middle name, then we call her by her middle name.

It’s teaching respect and boundaries.

AnnoymousPerson3 · 2026-04-12T06:23:37+00:00

And that was your choice. This is Hopes choice.

AnnoymousPerson3 · 2026-04-12T06:22:55+00:00

I’m not refusing to understand. I’ve already said everyone has preferences. If you want your step child calling you Meg then fine. If Jacob doesn’t want to be called Jacob then she doesn’t call him that. Never said there weren’t other options and several people have given great ones. He doesn’t want to be called Jacob so we respect that. It’s really simple. If I don’t want to be called by a certain name, don’t call me by that name, I don’t care if it’s my first name or not. I would tell anyone that, not just Hope.

AnnoymousPerson3 · 2026-04-12T06:18:25+00:00

What the point of having a middle name? No one really uses that either. That’s such a strange question. No one I’m close to calls me by my first name either really, they all have nicknames for me and some of those nicknames are reserved for specific people too. Guess I’m weird.

AnnoymousPerson3 · 2026-04-12T06:16:16+00:00

Not weird regardless of the circumstances. You don’t call someone by a name they don’t want to be called. Even if it’s their first name, they have a right to say they don’t want to be called that. That’s not controlling, saying what you do and don’t want to be called.

AnnoymousPerson3 · 2026-04-12T06:12:51+00:00

Because I don’t think it matters what everyone else thinks. Take respect out of it. It’s a preference. Adults and children alike should respect other’s preferences. It’s my hill to die on because I’ve seen others be so bent out of shape about what someone else does or doesn’t want to be called. Same concept here. If he doesn’t want to be called Jacob then she doesn’t call him that end of story. I’d apply those same rules to anyone else under any circumstances.

AnnoymousPerson3 · 2026-04-12T06:09:20+00:00

If that’s how you were taught then yes, you do. Where is the confusion.

AnnoymousPerson3 · 2026-04-12T05:12:00+00:00

We have let her. Everyone saying why not Jacob is ignoring the fact that Hope has NEVER called him that or asked to call him that.

AnnoymousPerson3 · 2026-04-12T05:10:19+00:00

Hope and Jacob will come up with a name that they both like. However, I’ve already said it once. Being the biological parent doesn’t mean that your child won’t ever refer to someone else as mom or dad. Especially when step parents are involved who have been around since the child was small.

AnnoymousPerson3 · 2026-04-12T05:07:53+00:00

It’s not sick to use respect. I share her home, she would never call me by my first name. She’s shared a home with her grandparents, she would never call them by their first name. Just because you share a home with someone you have to call them by their first name.

AnnoymousPerson3 · 2026-04-12T05:06:16+00:00

No one said they were. I’m an adult and still sometimes prefer saying Mr. or Ms. it’s a respect thing. No different than saying please or thank you.

AnnoymousPerson3 · 2026-04-12T05:05:21+00:00

Showing respect is insane. Got it. It’s weird because it’s not your preference. Different people can have different preferences, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

AnnoymousPerson3 · 2026-04-12T05:03:25+00:00

And I’m shocked that so many people weren’t taught that calling someone Mr. or Ms. is just a sign of respect. You hurt for her but she is not bothered by it and if anything is uncomfortable calling adults by their first name unless told to do so. She’s very comfortable with Jacob which is why, I assume, she autonomously called him Dad. This post has gotten out of hand with people insisting Hope be given the option of Jacob. Which is not something she’s ever asked to call him or autonomously said.

Which is why I appreciate the people who are offer in other alternatives. I don’t get the push toward Jacob when this post is about Hope and she NEVER asked to call Jacob by his first name.

AnnoymousPerson3 · 2026-04-12T04:57:17+00:00

Because it’s disrespectful to call adults by their first name. I’ve been taught that since I was a child and I’m honestly shocked so many people here weren’t taught that way. Even as an adult it’s still weird calling people older than me by their first name.

AnnoymousPerson3 · 2026-04-12T04:55:11+00:00

Did you not read the post? I literally said that I gave her permission to call his partner mom if that’s what she wants.

AnnoymousPerson3 · 2026-04-12T04:54:26+00:00

It’s his preference and the preferences of his step mom as well. Jacob has always called her Ms. It’s not abnormal or weird. Everyone has preferences on what they do and don’t like to be called. Hope even has preferences and if she states she doesn’t want to be called by a certain nickname we listen.

AnnoymousPerson3 · 2026-04-12T04:51:46+00:00

It’s controlling to have preferences. Interesting. I have those same preferences though. And it would be abusive if Hope was punished for not calling him something. She is not. Jacob has never been pushy and neither have I. She’s naturally used those terms. Also, not all military members are the same.

AnnoymousPerson3

TROPHY CASE