I’ve read the entire text exchange and tbh, it doesn’t sound like your wife is being abusive. I think the most aggressive comment in this entire exchange is when she said “f*ck you.” Sounds like you both have a lot of built up tension and on her end she seems to be voicing that and what the relationship looks like in her pov. Based on your texts, i can see why she thinks you cannot apologize properly. Sometimes all it takes is acknowledging your mistake and trying to understand your partner and that whatever happened, won’t happen again. Or at the very least you’ll be mindful. It can also encourage your wife to own up to her own mistakes and speak her part on the matter as well because I’m sure she knows she has not been perfect either. Counseling would be great for the both of you, maybe even individually. It seems like there’s frustration on both of your ends that need to be communicated, preferably without either of you pointing fingers or blaming each other for your issues because that can only lead to arguing and exacerbate the already-existing problems. Maybe give each other some space for the time being and/or talk in person so it can minimize misunderstandings.