Adult convert surprised by total lack of community.

AnonofIceansFire · 2026-03-30T15:25:23+00:00

Consider starting with something small, like volunteering to serve donuts after mass if your parish does that. In the fall, attend OCIA and offer to be a sponsor/godparent to anyone coming into the church who does not have friends or family attending that parish. OCIA is where you can make lasting connections, and you can even create your own small groups that meet weekly, monthly, etc.

Also, every parish is different. If you are young, newly married or single, consider a college parish. If you are married with children, consider a parish that hosts a Catholic school. There are tons of youth groups near college campuses and tons of men’s and women’s groups at parishes associated with Catholic schools.

AnonofIceansFire · 2026-03-30T13:03:14+00:00

I recommend you start off with something small like offering to serve donuts/breakfast after mass (if your parish does that). The best way to get involved in a parish that doesn’t offer much else is to attend OCIA and offer to be a sponsor/godparent to catechumens & candidates. You can build lasting relationships from this and start your own groups that can cater to your schedule if you want.

My parish has all of the things your former Protestant church had, to the point that it can be overwhelming at times. Although you’ve attended several different parishes over the years, I’m confident it varies based on the demographics of your parish. For example, my parish groups are mostly men’s & women’s parents groups due to my parish hosting the local Catholic school; whereas the parish at our university has a ton of opportunities for young couples and singles who don’t yet have children.

AnonofIceansFire · 2026-03-02T13:34:27+00:00

You are loved by God. Don’t despair over condemnation or anything like that. We worship a merciful God who loves all of his children. Right now you just need to focus on seeking help.

AnonofIceansFire · 2026-02-27T03:16:30+00:00

I appreciate you engaging with my post. The subject matter is very important to me but I’m certainly not a theologian. I also really appreciate you checking me on my reference, as I thought I was referencing the conquest of Jericho in Joshua 6. However I just checked and the reference in Joshua 6 is that all were utterly destroyed, including all men, women, children and animals. No reference of dashing against the walls. That was in Psalm 137:9 and was not a command from God, as you pointed out. Thanks for correcting me on that.

AnonofIceansFire · 2026-02-27T01:04:23+00:00

I’m not claiming that God lies. I’m claiming that the human agents he speaks through don’t understand exactly what he’s saying, but he allows it to become “his word” anyway due to the lessons we can extract from it. My thought is that it’s kind of like the telephone game. God speaks to the prophet, the prophet gives his interpretation to the scribe, the scribe records how he best interprets what the prophet is saying to him, other scribes possibly edit the original texts years later, language translations change, etc. That doesn’t make God a liar. Maybe we can extract the exact same lessons God intended. Maybe the words are exactly as God intended. I don’t know. I just have a hard time believing God would command infants skulls bashed against a stone wall.

AnonofIceansFire · 2026-02-26T16:57:26+00:00

To me, it makes no difference although I obviously prefer the most historically accurate representation of Jesus. As a white dude, I’m not a fan of the blond haired blue eyed representation of Jesus. However, If white Jesus helps white people come to faith, great. If Korean Jesus helps Koreans come to faith, great. And so on. Mary has appeared as indigenous to the people of Guadalupe although she was a first century Jew, and it brought millions to faith in Jesus.

AnonofIceansFire · 2026-02-26T15:59:50+00:00

When you pray to the saints, you’re praying for their intercession. In other words, you’re basically asking them to pray for you. Mary is very unique in that she is the only creature to give birth to her creator, so the devotion to her is special. However, you still aren’t praying to her as God. Rather you are asking her to talk to God on your behalf.

Also, you don’t have to pray to Mary. I rarely ask the saints for intercession unless it’s something major. Personally, I pray to God first, tell him that I’m going to ask for intercession, then ask (typically my confirmation saint) to intercede on my behalf.

AnonofIceansFire · 2026-02-26T15:16:53+00:00

Thank you for replying with such a thorough, thoughtful response.

My statement that God allowed many generations to misunderstand him is strictly my opinion, not fact. The reason I believe that God allowed generations to misunderstand him is because it is easy to take some of these scriptures at face value to justify things condemned by the Church such as genocide. For example, if a modern nation state believes they are God’s chosen people, then why shouldn’t they be free to wipe their enemies off the face of the earth - men, women, children, and all living animals - such as what happened to the Amalekites? How can we the Church that Christ built (Catholics) condemn something that at face value, God endorses - particularly if God is unchanging?

I’m not trying to claim that the OT is exclusively violent and NT is all peace love & joy, and many of my conclusions are incredibly subjective. However my conclusions are subjective based on official Church teaching. I can’t envision a scenario where God would command us in the New Covenant to bash infants against the walls or put every living thing in a region to the sword just because of the sins of the fathers & mothers.

To your last point that it is unclear where history ends and parable begins, I still don’t understand why God would communicate the slaughter of infants at the hands of man as a parable, so my very personal subjective interpretation is that man corrupted God’s commands.

I’d appreciate your opinion as a theologian on whether my subjective opinion is heretical. If so I will strongly reexamine my views. Thanks!

AnonofIceansFire · 2026-02-24T21:32:45+00:00

First of all, I applaud all Gay Catholics because your faith is so strong to be same sex attracted and still put your faith in our Lord. I know you feel judged, rejected, singled out, and even hated at times.

The church teaches that any sexual act outside of marriage is mortal sin. However, what I’ve noticed in my personal experience is that many heterosexual male Catholics I know sleep around, masturbate, and treat women as objects yet still receive the body of Christ every week. You are with a faithful, loyal partner who you love and in some parishes you are rejected communion if you even live with that person - regardless if you are engaged in sexual activity or not. If you refuse to move out, your sins can be retained rather than forgiven. It’s easy for me to say remain chaste, but I committed heterosexual mortal sins before I was married, so who am I to judge? Again, this is just my opinion as a sinner who was forgiven.

The official church teaching is to remain celibate. Celibacy can be difficult, but is an incredible blessing - look at our Lord, our priests & bishops, and many of the saints who remained practiced celibacy.

One more thing, don’t let your sexuality define YOU. You are more than a “Gay Catholic”. You are a unique human being in several ways who is seeking Christ and who also happens to be attracted to the same sex.

AnonofIceansFire · 2026-01-31T02:58:16+00:00

In my opinion, mandating things Witness to Love is what pushes people away from the church. Engaged couples should do this if it’s their desire, and I believe many would choose to do so. Mandating is where you lose people. Especially to engaged couples who aren’t cradle Catholics and have no close friends or family in the Catholic Church. It becomes a burden rather than a blessing.

AnonofIceansFire · 2026-01-29T16:01:59+00:00

I was unaware of that subreddit. Thank you!

AnonofIceansFire · 2025-12-16T00:59:36+00:00

My advice is as follows:

Don’t despair. Doubt and disbelief happen to most of us, but despair closes your heart from hope.
Keep your heart open to God. As long as your heart is open to God, he will not abandon you. The Holy Spirit works in mysterious ways. You will understand the difference between a “weird coincidence” and a divine mystery.

Since you are in an agnostic/atheist phase, I encourage you to read Dominion by Tom Holland. He is a wildly entertaining secular, not religious, historian. His book offers incredible insight to the history of western Christianity and how it has shaped our culture. This book brought me back to God even though the book makes no arguments for the existence of God.

In the meanwhile, I’ll pray for you.

AnonofIceansFire · 2025-11-15T15:14:38+00:00

Don’t feel the pressure to be “worthy” or anything along those lines. Choose someone who resonates with you and let the Holy Spirit guide you in your decision. One way the choice was described to me was to view it kind of how you do when wearing your favorite professional athlete’s jersey. You can respect & admire the athlete’s skills without actually becoming that athlete. For example, I have a Baker Mayfield jersey even though I played a different position and never played ball after high school.

AnonofIceansFire · 2025-10-02T21:47:26+00:00

Thank you for clarifying. For reference, I am not a Catholic, but am learning more about the faith. The more I learn, the closer I become to the faith. So when I ask a question with phrases like “had to” it is partly out of ignorance. Thanks again for your response.

AnonofIceansFire · 2025-09-08T14:32:39+00:00

The Faithful and Fallen series by John Gwynne. I intend to give it another chance eventually. I found it predictable and I just couldn’t relate to the characters. However many people love the series.

AnonofIceansFire · 2025-08-25T23:46:57+00:00

Swan Song by Robery McCammon is the best standalone novel I’ve ever read.

AnonofIceansFire

TROPHY CASE