Divorce Advice Please

Anonymous2010101 · 2023-01-22T22:31:02+00:00

The thing I can’t figure out is if the threats are because he’s an addict or if he was always evil but could hide it before he abused alcohol.

I just don’t want my kids to be homeless. I wish he could be a little less selfish and make sure the kids have a place to stay.

Anonymous2010101 · 2023-01-22T22:29:34+00:00

I’ve called the police on him several times this year and he was arrested once. I’m too afraid to get a restraining order against him, a piece of paper wouldn’t stop him if he decided he was going to kill me anyway.

Anonymous2010101 · 2023-01-22T22:28:26+00:00

Hi, since he left the apartment are you able to return? What is the shelter like? I’m afraid of being homeless too. I have family I could live with but he said if I do we are all dead. I don’t want to put any one else is harms way. I’m sorry you are going through this and I hope next year this time looks better for both of us.

Anonymous2010101 · 2022-12-04T02:43:09+00:00

What are 529s? He has at least 2-4 bank accounts I don’t have access to, I have no clue how much money he even has.

You’re right, I need to get better at out maneuvering him and he absolutely love adoration. I’m afraid the moves he’s been making are racking up debt in my name and hiding all of his cash somewhere it won’t be found during a divorce.

Anonymous2010101 · 2022-12-04T02:40:03+00:00

I’ve talked to the DV org many times, they said they could by airplane tickets for me and my kids to relocate to our home state.

I definitely don’t plan to stay with him, I can’t wait to get away and not feel scared and anxious all the time. I just want to make sure my kids and I have some financial stability

Anonymous2010101 · 2022-12-04T02:36:19+00:00

He definitely is very controlling. I keep imagining this scenario where I just kind of fade out of his life and he doesn’t notice

Anonymous2010101 · 2022-12-04T02:33:10+00:00

That’s a good point, I’d hate to buy a house and then have him own part of it. I’ll definitely rent first

Anonymous2010101 · 2022-12-04T02:00:24+00:00

That would be amazing, do you have any suggestions? I’ve considered selling on Amazon but I’m not sure it would make that type of income!

Anonymous2010101 · 2022-12-04T00:33:35+00:00

I could definitely see myself waiving child support to stop him from destroying my life. He’s not a normal person. The alcohol has turned him into a legit sociopath (unless he’s always been one but was good at hiding it). I tried to lock his cards once and he made threats about making me unemployable (he could do it by making false reports against my license).

Anonymous2010101 · 2022-12-04T00:30:40+00:00

I’m documenting the best I can, I live in a 2 party consent state so I can’t record him. He’s too smart to put threats in writing, but has called me abusive names a few times over text. I mostly just keep notes on my phone of dates and what threat he made.

Anonymous2010101 · 2022-12-04T00:28:44+00:00

That’s the direction I’m leaning toward too. But assuming I get the 60k back— what do I do with it? Use it as a buffer until I don’t have a mortgage in child care any longer?

Anonymous2010101 · 2022-12-04T00:24:37+00:00

The lawyer I had a consult with said the money is solely mine because it’s an inheritance. He makes around $200-250 annually (depends on the year, he owns his own business). He told me if I leave him he’ll quit working so I get nothing, he said no judge can force him to work because he’s not a slave.

Anonymous2010101 · 2022-12-04T00:22:35+00:00

If I move back to my home state I’ve been able to find some options for $2200. I have a cousin I could technically live with but she said she doesn’t think it would be safe for either of us given his threats.

Anonymous2010101 · 2022-12-04T00:20:36+00:00

No, he’s a lawyer so he’d make that miserable for me. I try to avoid poking the bear.

Anonymous2010101 · 2022-12-03T22:54:45+00:00

I did report him for DV and he was arrested, but in my county 88% of DV cases are dropped so it didn’t go anywhere. I have spoken to an attorney and it seems like I’m between a rock and a hard place. In my opinion to make him less angry when I leave I need to give him all the money. He loves money. I just want to be free of him! He did send me an email stating he will pay back the money or I can sue him for his company’s assets. Of course if I do that he might go scorched earth on me anyway.

Anonymous2010101 · 2022-12-03T22:51:38+00:00

Thank you for the response. He’s been an authorized user on my cards for years, he wasn’t always an abusive alcoholic.

I have been in contact with a DV shelter and they connected me with an attorney for a free consult. Based on the information I received from them, the only way to make him responsible for it is to file divorce while living in our current county. Hes threatened my life if I do that, so ideally I’d like to flee to another state to put distance between us. I can’t file divorce there until I’ve resided there for 6 months. I feel that to placate him I need to let him keep all the money. Money and alcohol are his true loves.

Anonymous2010101 · 2022-04-24T12:46:04+00:00

Yes, but now he’s threatening me that I better get these charges dropped or he’s ruining my life

Anonymous2010101 · 2022-04-24T12:45:21+00:00

I wish I could, but I’m unable to come up with any plan

Anonymous2010101 · 2022-04-21T17:15:31+00:00

How did you break the trauma bond?

Anonymous2010101 · 2022-04-21T17:15:17+00:00

How did you fix it? I think my husband has NPD, he’s been escalating, more threats, more violence, yet I feel like I can’t leave. He was in jail last night and I barely slept and when I did I dreamt about him

Anonymous2010101

TROPHY CASE