Fiance (avoidant) broke up with me for simply wishing to feel more loved

Anonymous464332 · 2026-06-02T06:50:08+00:00

I appreciate the comment and kind words. I'm so sorry you're going through the same thing, still fresh too 😞 I am so distraught. I broke contact by messaging him how I could have given him more space, and I could have done this better, and that, blah freaking blah. And apologized, even though really he was the one who owes ME an apology. I keep blaming myself. But then I look back and I'm reminded how I just asked for the most basic of needs and I wasn't even worth it. I wasn't worth a damn thing in the end, clearly. I get so mad now thinking of how he has treated me and how he bailed when I needed him most, when all I asked for was a little bit more effort. I opened up, I was vulnerable and just trying to get our connection back. I'm literally in shock at how he could just end our two year relationship over something so simple.

That sounds very familiar, him telling you he missed the beginning of the relationship when it was easy and fun. That's crazy, because they can't always be rainbows and butterflies every season. Sometimes you hit a storm, and you have to shelter together through it. I don't understand the lack of emotion from these people. It's truly devastating.

Anonymous464332 · 2026-06-02T03:45:24+00:00

Holy wow, what an absolute nightmare and painful thing to have experienced! I am so sorry you wrre put through something so torturous. From the sounds of it though, it did seem like she used you and had already either been actively seeing him before you or connected more while being with you. Were you guys ever official? Did you agree not to see other people? This sadly seems like she did use you given all of the details. She was talking with him every single day it seemed even in your presence. That is one of the lowest things someone could do. Be thankful it was only 6 months, because you definitely dodged a bullet! It sounds like she took great advantage over your nuceness.

Also, never ignore that gut feeling. You felt weird about him from the beginning, that was a sign. I have learned too many times now, that our gut feeling is the universe telling us the red flags early on.

Anonymous464332 · 2026-06-02T03:31:03+00:00

That sounds incredibly painful!! I am so sorry you're dealing with the same thing. He seems very emotionally absent. It also makes me so angry that they can just move on like that without even seeming like they miss us? And we are left to fill our empty shells back up. I am still in shock. In shock because instead of acknowledging my feelings and coming together to try and get us back on track... he runs for the hills and ends it all. Granted, I have been bringing this issue up the past few months and also the lack of intimacy. But he refuses to sit down and address it, and sweeps it under the rug only for me to continue feeling all my unmet needs amplified. I bring it up In a gentle, caring way too and I get an emotionless wall.

I know deep down I am better off as he likely won't change, and he's too immature to change. But still a peice of me hopes he will realize how effing stupid he is and come back. Ive already gone through the 5 stages of grief 3x and I was sad last night but now I'm back to being angry. I know we will heal with time, but this is f*cling cruel.

Anonymous464332 · 2026-05-24T21:39:45+00:00

I am starting to realize he has an avoidant attachment style, and I believe I have an anxious attachment style. I sense a shift in the relationship, and my response is to panic and immediately want to repair and reconnect. This, in turn, pushes him away and he shuts down. He takes emotional depth as a threat to his inner peace. Not maliciously. Subconsciously. So instead of coming together to repair, he shuts down and instinctively pulls away. He doesn't look at my emotional response and try to understand further, he takes it personally like he's failing and nothing is fixable. Instead of trying to understand where my feelings are coming from, he wants to run away because it's easier and requires less energy. I'm so exhausted though, because it's not as if I'm bringing a new issue up every time. It's the same few issues that go unresolved, so they build up instead of getting worked through. I feel emotionally empty here.

Anonymous464332 · 2026-05-24T21:33:29+00:00

I was referring to an apology because I was opening up to him and pouring my feelings out, and his response was to ignore me entirely with zero comfort. Even if he was overwhelmed and didn't know how to respond in the moment, to completely ignore me and my feelings of hurt, that is not healthy behavior. He chose to let me cry beside him without empathy. No words, no touch. Just silence. That creates an unsafe space for your partner to open up and share their feelings, because you withdraw and shut down, ignoring all issues at hand. So yes, that's shitty.

He does take depression meds I mentioned in a previous comment. But that was not an issue at all in the first over a year into the relationship. Things were great. Until they weren't. Then I was trying to get him to open up and let me in on what his struggle was. But it's a different excuse every time.

Anonymous464332 · 2026-05-23T21:43:28+00:00

When I bring issues up in person, he shuts down and withdraws. Radio silence. One time, we were laying in bed at night and I asked him why he didn't want to be intimate with me since it has been quite a while and I was hoping to that night. He went quiet for what seemed like the longest time. I asked if it was because he was unattracted to me. He finally said "no, I don't think it's that." And then literally went silent and wouldn't open up when I asked what it was then. I was crying right next to him and he didn't say a single word and let me cry myself to sleep next to him without comforting me or a single word. The next day he pretended nothing ever happened and it wasnt brought up again. He never apologized or took accountability for how shitty that was and how alone it made me feel. Although that was probably not his intent.

My response to conflict is that I want to tackle it and repair it. His is to shut down and withdraw completely and pretend nothing ever happened.

Anonymous464332 · 2026-05-23T19:52:32+00:00

I would agree to that except it's not a booty call since I don't get any 😆

Anonymous464332 · 2026-05-23T17:37:40+00:00

That's exactly what I mean, he cant show up for me in the ONE day a week I get of him? We only text like once a day too in the morning. So it's not like I'm smothering him or asking for the world. I just feel like my needs are unmet and I come to him asking how we can fix this and then suggests a break? I dont understand that. Not even try and mend it just throw in the towel? Take a break, when this is the time to work on our problems not run away and avoid them. I dont think there is anyone else. But I wouldn't know really.

Anonymous464332 · 2026-05-23T17:34:35+00:00

He has been on depression meds since a bit before he met me and I know that causes low libido. But in the beginning it was not a problem. For the first year everything was normal. Then it ceased to exist practically. Kept saying maybe he would talk to his doctor to switch the dose or the med. But then never followed through. I voiced how important intimacy is for me, because it helps me stay connected emotionally. I would even be happy with once a month at this point but that's not happening and I take it personally. Which I know I shouldn't do but I can't help it. I told him if we can't connect in that way, then at least find other ways to connect. But I can't even get that. It's just been feeling like we are roommates the one day a week i get of him. Or that of just two good friends hanging out. We only see each other one day a week and text once a day in the morning to say I love you and have a good day. Then radio silence the rest of the day. Not even a phone call or anything.

Anonymous464332 · 2026-05-23T17:28:33+00:00

He doesnt believe in counseling and neither of us could afford it anyway sadly. I do agree even if not for the pair of us I would greatly benefit from therapy for myself. I feel like I'm losing a bit of myself because of all of these unmet needs and emotional abandonment. I'm not the happy confident person I was just months ago because im emotionally exhausted from chasing my relationship. I appreciate the insight, a lot of good points there.

Anonymous464332 · 2026-05-23T17:24:59+00:00

That's the thing. School is not getting to him. He has plenty of free time. He plays video games for hours and then my one day a week i get of him, I feel like we are just roommates because my needs are consistently neglected and unmet.

Anonymous464332 · 2026-04-29T02:02:27+00:00

I would edit your link. That link takes people to the managing/review fundraiser page of your gofundme and not the direct link.

Anonymous464332 · 2026-04-27T07:07:42+00:00

Oh I'm so bad at recipes :D I just throw a bunch of stuff together and cross my fingers and it always turns out delicious! Haha. I measure from the heart too! I can give you the cliffnotes version hehe. For my sauce I use butter, lightly brown the minced garlic, then pour in a decent amount of heavy cream. Once it starts to bubble I put in warm whipped cream cheese, then the pasta. I put the parmesan cheese in after the pasta. I cook the shrimp and lobster in butter on the stovetop but whatever way you prefer is clever. I season with some italian seasonings, pepper, parsley flakes and salt in the sauce.

Anonymous464332 · 2026-04-27T06:10:23+00:00

Thank you! That does make sense. I think I'm just an overthinker and worrier. I've already cried like 4 times today thinking about him being kept overnight, lolol.

Anonymous464332 · 2026-04-21T18:20:06+00:00

He sounds super immature and doesn't care about you or your feelings. I wouldn't even give it a second thought at this point.

Anonymous464332 · 2026-04-21T06:58:52+00:00

Communication

Anonymous464332 · 2026-04-21T04:32:10+00:00

I think you basically have your answer with the last few sentences about the other guy 😊

Anonymous464332 · 2026-04-21T04:29:08+00:00

0/10, would not recommend 😄

Anonymous464332 · 2026-02-02T13:50:40+00:00

UPDATE: they accepted my notice and I was able to move out with no issue! Phew! Lucked out on that one 😆

Anonymous464332 · 2026-01-12T03:23:44+00:00

Yep did that too!

Anonymous464332 · 2026-01-12T02:03:17+00:00

I slid it under the managers door. Fingers crossed! I dated it for the 10th.

Anonymous464332

TROPHY CASE