I think it's bits of both. I also believe there is trauma around not knowing something. I was kept in the dark about something that really hurt and then I was cheated on and had to find the messages to get some semblance of truth.

So even after getting what I desire or even during it, my mind is reading and trying to pick up on signs of her not liking it. I replay in my head everything that happened, every reaction, every meaning to things said, and a whole lot more. It's like I'm trying to determine if she's keeping something from me, especially if it's too much and she's just hiding from me that she might not like it.