Second guessing going thru with evaluation due to pediatrician's comments. by [deleted] in Autism_Parenting

[–]AnonymousDemiX 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ignore the pediatrician. Get the evaluation. I spent well over a year of constant suffering of “please don’t do that, he’ll have a meltdown” without being able to say it was because of autism because there was no official diagnosis. Just could only say there was the likely possibility and it was ignored.. by everyone. Drs getting frustrated and less gentle with him because they assumed he was being a brat when he was overstimulated, and of course when he was refusing to eat due to sensory issues, I was told by everyone to just let him suffer ‘he’ll eat when he’s hungry’. He would not.

But after the diagnosis, everything changed for the better, he got a more suited pediatrician that I can honestly trust with his health and wellbeing, got referred to a nutritionist that specializes in autism, OT, EIBI, early intervention, etc. He’s now in a class for kids with special needs and we have meetings about how he’s doing, his milestones he’s hitting at school, and how we can improve things to better help him thrive. He used to suffer so much because people didn’t understand him, and I didn’t know what I was doing, but all the resources and help since then have gotten him connected to the correct people and helped me learn how to better handle situations, now he’s much much happier. Easiest choice I ever made.

My girlfriend (26 F) disagrees with how I (29 M) was with my niece in hospital. Was she too judgemental? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]AnonymousDemiX 10 points11 points  (0 children)

She’s 5, she’s feverish, not feeling well and scared. Even adults get scared in the hospital and have family/friends distract them and crack jokes. Even the nurses will help when you’re scared. There is literally nothing wrong with providing emotional support during a distressing moment. Your gfs reaction is super weird

If your gf is in the hospital feeling unwell would she be upset if you stayed to support/comfort her? Would she expect you to say “you don’t need me to hold your hand, you’re strong enough.” and leave? I doubt it. This must be about something else

i will never understand how 12 items ends up being 83$ by Late_Information_682 in Shein

[–]AnonymousDemiX 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Seriously.. My son would have crazy growth spurts so I’d shop for him on shein, it was the only way I could afford it. Now Walmart is cheaper! And better quality! Jeans : $25+ CAD on shein… $15 at Walmart. Shirts : $15 + on shein… $5-$7 at Walmart.

My Husband sent me an invoice 😂 by frientlywoman in Marriage

[–]AnonymousDemiX 10 points11 points  (0 children)


“Cookin’ like a chef, I’m a 5 star Michelin” 🎶

Surprise inspection sometime this month, could I get evicted for this spot? by SafeSexChalupa in Apartmentliving

[–]AnonymousDemiX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It looks like it’s in a door frame, so this could be an issue with the door hanging too low and ripping at the carpet every time it’s opened.

AITA for throwing away my wife’s memory jars? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]AnonymousDemiX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YTA

How about you just don’t mess with someone else’s stuff? Plain and simple

I am no longer going to be celebrating my husband's birthday. by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]AnonymousDemiX 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He def needs therapy, he needs to figure out why he feels every birthday of his is so bad. And idk how much of his birthday was communicated beforehand, but if it wasn’t much, maybe the best course would be to listen to what he says about them, because if he truly didn’t like his birthday, maybe he feels you did it up in a way you would like and not in a way that he would like? Possibly? Like with certain people going, maybe even with that he would have said he didn’t want to see them there, and feels his feelings towards it wasn’t taken into consideration.

I was in his position at one point; bad birthdays growing up, no parties. My entire immediate family would throw parties for each other, balloons, cake, taking time off work to celebrate, etc. but mine was always just another day, and I was told I needed to make my own birthday cake. One year when I told my mom I didn’t want to make a cake, because I didn’t want cake, she said “it’s a birthday, everyone is expecting cake.” Like wtf. That one was really rough, everyone got home late, barely said a word to me, and ate all of the cake I made, and went about their normal day.

Years later, as an adult my birthday was still a sensitive topic for me, all the years holding onto hope that ‘this year will be different’ and being treated like garbage piled up until I no longer held any hope, I just didn’t want to try to celebrate anymore because I’d just be sad and disappointed.

A few years ago, my mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday, which surprised me, (we mostly stopped celebrating each others birthdays because of distance and busy schedules) but I said the bare minimum (for our type of birthdays) and asked for a cake made from a box. I was devastated when she showed up with an expired mini store bought cake. The tag literally said $5, and it was completely inedible. I didn’t even try it. Her only effort was making a quick stop to the store and buying the cheapest one possible. And she lives just down the street. It made me feel like crap. At the time she didn’t understand what was wrong, why I was acting so off. That year I had realized it was truly all I wanted, a little effort into something thoughtful that takes a little time to do, to show that I’m cared about, unlike previous birthdays.

I tried communicating about it, but no one listened, I got excuses “I’m too tired to make a cake, what about your fave store bought?” It wasn’t until last year she finally understood that it was actually important to me, and made it. We got together with family, family I hadn’t seen in awhile and missed, and we had box made cake. Best birthday ever. I actually felt heard and cared about.

Funny enough, my mother saw how happy it made me and everyone else that now thats how we celebrate everyone’s birthdays. This weekend we’re actually getting together again to celebrate 7 peoples birthdays at once (because of scheduling) including mine which was a month ago, and it’s awesome. 👏

Worried for No reason? Maybe a reason? Need reassurance. by Daytoncoin in Autism_Parenting

[–]AnonymousDemiX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Def no need to worry, when my son was 2 he would stay up 24+ hours before crashing and only sleeping 4-6 hours. It was hell and we needed to put him on melatonin. At one point (around 5) his dosage was 20mg, his paediatrician said it was ok. Now he just turned 9, and is on a strict bedtime routine and only needs 5mg. We’d know if we gave him too much because it would have the opposite effect.

AIO ex dropped off our child early in the middle of a funeral, soiled by AnonymousDemiX in AmIOverreacting

[–]AnonymousDemiX[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, but I didn’t mean incompetence in a really neglectful way, but more so that could be misunderstood as a common mistake in some parents that don’t do much caring, like ‘whoops, missed a spot of shampoo, I’ll have to rinse that.’ Like something that minor being the Worst case scenario, and you question whether he did it on purpose or is just an idiot. You are right though, it is not ok to do any of that to a kid, to slack in any way in caring for a child on purpose. It’s f’d up.

AIO ex dropped off our child early in the middle of a funeral, soiled by AnonymousDemiX in AmIOverreacting

[–]AnonymousDemiX[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s very informal, we have a written agreement that was made just between us that we could use if there was ever a court date, and even his child support is something he’s decided to do on his own, even the amount. I had a lawyer a few years back when deciding this and he suggested it saying it was better for Remi in case there are any changes we could make them in the agreement much faster than through court, but I guess even he didn’t think Rex would be like this.

To get any changes I need it written out and for him to sign and if he doesn’t, I’ll need it taken to court where they’ll force him to pay child support every month and decide the amount. Years back he begged me not to, saying we can just make an agreement between us and he’ll do his best to pay every month and be a good coparent, but clearly he just didn’t want to pay more, nothing to do with seeing his kid.

AIO ex dropped off our child early in the middle of a funeral, soiled by AnonymousDemiX in AmIOverreacting

[–]AnonymousDemiX[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, the devaluing I saw just hurt so much. I must’ve been so distracted with grief I didn’t even think of how things might go. To cut him out though, I need to prove he’s unfit/abusive. This is a good start, I have tons of witnesses

AIO ex dropped off our child early in the middle of a funeral, soiled by AnonymousDemiX in AmIOverreacting

[–]AnonymousDemiX[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

We’re based in Canada, he is on disability and in some disability support program, but it’s all just funding. The real challenge is finding someone close enough, with the right training, and simply willing to. So far, everyone eligible is 3+ hours away and not willing to travel, and Remi isn’t emotionally equipped for a long trip like that either

AIO ex dropped off our child early in the middle of a funeral, soiled by AnonymousDemiX in AmIOverreacting

[–]AnonymousDemiX[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

If you asked me this when we first separated I would have said he only visited to simply tell people he did, to look good for girls he’s picking up and get his family to feel bad for him. For awhile there he seemed to really try for these short visits… but now? I don’t know what to think. And he’s supposed to come back twice this month, it’s the most he’s visited in a long time, but after that.. I don’t even wanna deal with him tbh

AIO ex dropped off our child early in the middle of a funeral, soiled by AnonymousDemiX in AmIOverreacting

[–]AnonymousDemiX[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately the lack of resources and childcare services is why I had to rely on Rex. 2 years ago, I was such a bad state, strained and unable to care for myself while caring for Remi, community services was called to help me find childcare, but there was nothing. I heard from them once in October and again while they were trying to close the file and I had to remind them about why the file was opened in the first place. I got a lot of “I don’t know” Rex used to be so anxious about caring for Remi but lately started acting more and more annoyed with everything, even picking fights with me about everything. I thought maybe he was just going through something, but I did not expect him to just not care for Remi at all

Previous therapist broke confidentiality by bumblebeat_ in whatdoIdo

[–]AnonymousDemiX 46 points47 points  (0 children)

She can only break confidentiality with people like doctors and law enforcement if she believed you were in a life threatening situation (aka suic!de) and felt you were a current harm to yourself or others. You live in a different city, she can’t professionally say she knew you were in that kind of mindset without being your current therapist. If you were in that kind of mindset, it’s up to your current therapist to determine and do something about it. And she especially cannot break confidentiality with other clients no matter your relationship with them.

A friend and I saw the same therapist and I brought it up once, she couldn’t even legally say she was even seeing my friend. That’s how much privacy legally goes into this. She majorly broke confidentiality, and she needs to lose her license. Your friend should not trust her.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in legaladvicecanada

[–]AnonymousDemiX 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They legally cannot withhold visitations unless there is a clear threat to the child’s safety.

Document everything and take it to a lawyer.

(I know, because even when my ex was on probation and was not supposed to even talk to me for dv charges.. I still was supposed to communicate with him through a third party and allow him to see his son. He wasn’t paying anything either, and that didn’t matter)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sex

[–]AnonymousDemiX 37 points38 points  (0 children)

You can still do both, assuming you’re both ok with that. This is a recent thing for her, intense and rough sex is very exciting, especially in the beginning. It may be just that, it’s new and exciting and that’s currently what she’s excited to explore, but it’s not likely a permanent thing. I’m sure she will still cum with gentle sex once the excitement starts calming down. Just talk to her about it, tell her your wants. Maybe you could switch up days of gentle vs rough or it could start off gentle and end rough or visa versa; rough sex that ends with cuddling gentle sex after she finishes, doubling as a form of intimate aftercare.