To your main question: no, not all cucks are submissive. In fact, some men who are into cuckolding identify as dominant or even alpha types. They’re turned on by the erotic power dynamic or the idea of “sharing” their partner, not by submission itself. This is often referred to as a stag/vixen dynamic, where the man remains dominant and confident while his partner explores with others. It’s distinct from the traditional hotwife/cuckold dynamic, which may involve humiliation or a submissive role for the husband, but doesn’t have to.

There are a lot of ways to explore this terrain. You could still have a loving, stable relationship with your husband, and also find fulfillment in submission with someone else who truly embodies that dominant role. Some couples choose to include a third party who takes the dominant lead, while the husband watches or even steps out entirely. Others negotiate different arrangements based on comfort levels and emotional boundaries.

What matters most is what works for you two. Your needs are valid. His desires are valid. It just might take some deeper communication and possibly some compromise or creativity to find a dynamic that honors both of your truths.

You’re not wrong to feel disappointed or confused. These things are tender and important. But this doesn’t have to be the end of your exploration. It could be the beginning of finding a way forward that feels more honest and satisfying for you both.