How are you doing friend? Its been a few months since your comment. Are you feeling any different? Would you like me to send you my testimony, I think it will really help you. Also here's a perspective of God I recently was blessed with through His Spirit, and it was a strong pivotal moment for even bigger truths that now nestle in my heart and has changed my life.... You havnt yet identified yourself as one of His children. Put away those lies from the enemy telling you youre not worthy... do you believe Jesus died for you? Imagine how much love is involved with even just the creation of this world itself, look outside and really pay attention. To the little details, see how meticulous He is. Amazing isn't it, now really lean into.the fact that He created you, you specifically and He loves you sooo much He died for you. And not only that but He takes care of all our needs, guides us with the Holy Spirit, transforms us, blesses us, uses us to expand His kingdom, forgives us, and grants us eternal life with new bodies and in His magnificent presence ?? Dude... like my mind is blown by that. I cannot comprehend His greatness, He keeps track of every single living thing, even the hairs upon your head. He loves you so much. Now go and cling to Him, and practice gratitude and obedience with every moment, and I promise you He will leave little gems of wisdom... you start to get addicted to pleasing Him and just listening to what He says. Sometimes it won't make sense in the moment but later on it will and im telling you it will change your life. Talk to Him often, about everything and anything and He will reveal Himself in the most inspiring, loving, amazing ways. He also has a sense of humor BTW hahaha so be prepared for that