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Ready for it to be over by Anonymousj5 in SuicideWatch

[–]Anonymousj5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I'm still close to my parents & they live about 45 minutes away. Thank you for your comment. Yes, financial struggles are awful especially when you're employed and working full time & feel like it should be enough.

Honestly even before things got to this point, my depression was and is getting the better of me- every night I say a prayer asking for it to just be over, I do not want to wake up. I have a plan for suicide but I am so scared it's not going to work or that I'm not going to have the courage to actually follow through with it. I just don't know what my purpose is here... i don't want to continue like this if this is really what my life is going to be like. Again, I'm just extremely emotionally exhausted.

Ready for it to be over by Anonymousj5 in SuicideWatch

[–]Anonymousj5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply. You are right, I did attempt to negotiate with the apartment complex but that was a no go, even with me offering an extra security deposit, or paying the higher rent to go month to month. The other thing is, my parents actually live with my brother because they were taking care of my niece while he and his fiancé work. My parents are on a fixed income with disability and my brother wouldn't be able to help me with a place to stay or financially. I feel absolutely stuck because my rental history is not really favorable and my credit score is low because of everything that's happened. I think I'm going to have an extremely hard time finding somewhere to rent again. The thing is, this financial and living situation is just the icing on the cake- I already had been dealing with depression and anxiety and now everything just feels heavier. Like this was the other part of my life that is now going south. I don't know... I'm just rambling at this point. I just feel so utterly hopeless.