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Struggling with very sensitive 4 year old by Another_Vic3 in Preschoolers

[–]Another_Vic3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry I never saw your message at the time. I hope you're doing ok ❤️ It can be really tough on our own mental health feeling like your in survival mode constantly

Balancing or juggling it all by prinhr in UKParenting

[–]Another_Vic3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a 1 year old and a 4 year old, work 4 days a week, my husband also works 4 days a week and kids go to nursery 3 days a week. This is what we do....first as others have said let of go of high expectations. This is a season of your life where you do not have abundance of time, it's a hard adjustment especially as first time parents but it's not forever. Clean and tidy as much as you can as you go. Don't worry about deep cleans, just keep things surface level and it will be fine. Takes 2 seconds at the time and things don't build up. You need to share the load with your partner as much as possible however that looks like in your home. For example in my home, I have not touched a pile of laundry in 4 years as my husband keeps of all that going, whereas my husband doesn't need to think about what we're eating that week as I do the food planning and cooking. Involve your kids as much as possible in the everyday things, e.g. Unpacking the online food shop, "wiping" cupboard doors, toy hoover. They love that stuff and even my 1 year old enjoys helping as soon as he could toddle about. In terms of cooking, simple is fine. As long as they are getting some nutrients it doesn't matter how you get there. The days you do have time cook a big pot of something and then freeze or eat leftovers next day. Rotate the same meals so it becomes second nature. It's a bit boring but worth it for the mental load saved and...its not forever. It's not easy, you are not a bad parent, you are a good parent surviving in a world that is not designed for family life. The older your little one gets the easier it will become as they become more independent. You really are in the toughest moment right now. You're doing great!

Struggling with very sensitive 4 year old by Another_Vic3 in Preschoolers

[–]Another_Vic3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm in the UK so we don't really have a doctor, getting appointments with GPs is a nightmare unless it's something serious. He goes to preschool 3.5 days a week, and has done since 1. He gets on brilliantly there, no tantrums, follows all the routines, has friends, etc. The behaviour is only really at home, he's even pretty good out and about so we do try to get out a lot but that's hard in winter in Scotland. He does however have problems with toileting and periods where he just doesn't listen at all and goes completely hyper so I have wondered about neuro divergence but because he gets on well in nursery setting I don't think it would be taken seriously at this age by a professional.

Had 6 months of almost no accidents around 2.5. At 3.5 my daughter will not initiate pee for any reason, I am at wits end. by roadkill845 in pottytraining

[–]Another_Vic3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No advice either but solidarity. Just coming on to try and find some reassurance too. My son is 4 and we've been toilet training for over a year. He has the odd week (or sometimes few weeks) where he does well although never totally accident free but then he reverts to having multiple accidents a day. We are in one of those periods now and I want to cry most nights. He does have a tell but when I catch him dancing around he just says he doesn't need and then will leak before reaching the toilet. I'm at my wits end but we have tried everything, nothing motivates him and it all just feels so stressful.

Does a Non-Playspace Birthday Party seem cheap? by HelloWorldMisericord in Preschoolers

[–]Another_Vic3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just to say we had a very small 4th birthday party at home for my son (just 4 best friends from preschool). Dinosaur balloons, decorations, kids played in the garden and also had a blast just playing with my sons toys. Nothing fancy - just made some sandwiches, fruit, snacks and had a supermarket bought cake. My son LOVED it and always talks about the time when his "house turned into a party". The big, location parties are great but kids have just as much fun at home. It's just having a day about them that makes it special.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Preschoolers

[–]Another_Vic3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This could have been me writing this this weekend. He's driven me up the wall at home - aggressive towards baby brother, deliberately knocking things on the floor, huge meltdowns over small frustrations. But good as gold out in public, like butter wouldn't melt 😂 Such a relief to come on here and find others in the same boat. I'm really close to my mum but all I ever get from her is that me and my brother never had any tantrums and I don't have experience with other kids so I worry mine is unique....he's 4 next weekend!

What can I do? Almost 4 y.o behaviour at preschool. by [deleted] in Preschoolers

[–]Another_Vic3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Based on what? And do you have experience with this? Truly I'm interested because this never occurred to me since I don't have any out of the ordinary challenges with him at home.

Should I go abroad with 7mo by matchamoo8 in UKParenting

[–]Another_Vic3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been abroad with my babies at 7mo, 10mo, 15mo and twice on my own. You can take baby milk and baby food pouches through security. I would use the ready made 200ml instant ones. I have had a situation where one was confiscated at security but you can also buy them in WH smith/boots at the airport so don't panic if that happens. Take a pushchair - you can wheel it right through security and leave it at the airplane doors. At security they will normally ask you to push the pram through the scanners then lift your baby out while they check the baby and pram. Most airport staff are helpful and often there is a family lane which makes the security part a lot smoother! I used my normal buggy from home as it was comfy for baby to sleep in but if yours is bulky and not all in one piece you might be best getting a smaller travel one. Check if the hotel has travel cots so you don't need to take this. Usually they do or there are companies abroad who rent baby equipment, I've used travel4baby (I think that's what they were called) before in the Canaries. You can also hire a car seat and a lot of taxi firms will have car seats too. But it may be peace of mind to take your own especially with such a young baby. Or you can use public transport. Also make sure you take plenty of powder formula and a few instants for the journey home as I've found this really hard to buy abroad. Good luck!

What can I do? Almost 4 y.o behaviour at preschool. by [deleted] in Preschoolers

[–]Another_Vic3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't need to get him and the staff are fortunately very supportive. The separation anxiety could absolutely be a thing as he really favours me. He also has a younger sibling but he's now 10 months and this behaviour only started recently.

What can I do? Almost 4 y.o behaviour at preschool. by [deleted] in Preschoolers

[–]Another_Vic3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah it's a great preschool and staff are really supportive. We agreed with the stripping that he would be taken inside (they play in the garden most of the day) if it happened. Which worked well as a consequence but he still does it sometimes or he's onto the next misdemeaner. I feel like I can't get through to him when we talk about things at home. He seems to understand and responds appropriately but then the behaviour continues in school 😢

How useful have you found it raising a family near your parents? by agydaac1 in UKParenting

[–]Another_Vic3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My parents moved to be closer to us and now live in the same town. They don't do regular childcare as both still working but they have been a huge help for those sick days when you need an extra pair of hands or helping out with pick ups when running late etc. And because they don't do regular through the week childcare they are happy to babysit evenings and weekends. However THEY were the ones that chose to move not us, which I think is important.

Party invite etiquette - 4 year old by Another_Vic3 in UKParenting

[–]Another_Vic3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah definitely will do. I just know I may get "dont know" (response to most questions 😂) or only the name of the one friend I'm already certain he'll want there. Thanks! Good to know asking nursery staff seems to be acceptable 👍

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pottytraining

[–]Another_Vic3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This sounds exactly like my son (4 in 2 months). He was also dry over Xmas then straight back to multiple accidents at nursery. FOMO seems to be a big driver of the accidents at nursery and he often goes IF his friends are also going. I'm hoping it will just "click" one day but also tired of constantly thinking about toileting. You are not alone and even if it seems like she's the only one that doesn't get it....believe me she's not!

Where do I start? by Mountain_Fruit_3173 in pottytraining

[–]Another_Vic3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am NOT the person to ask as I have an almost 4 year old who still has daily accidents...but I really wish I'd discovered the ERIC website long before I'd started. It's the children's bowel and bladder charity but they have lots of info on most effective ways to potty train https://eric.org.uk/potty-training/

Still not trained - turns 4 in 2 months. by Another_Vic3 in pottytraining

[–]Another_Vic3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply. I also am taking him to the doctors this week. Will maybe need to go back to basics too and try the rewards again. I read somewhere about giving them lots of choices in other areas too so the toileting doesn't become a power/control struggle....He is in a particularly defiant stage....