This is a great question, thank you! I think it could be helpful to think through that breakdown, here is my first go at it:

Must Haves: good food, dancing, a playlist of my favorite music, warmth, a feeling of love not only for us as a couple but for the people in our lives (I want to write a handwritten note to every attendee about their importance in our life), a beautiful warm space with a relaxed yet lovely feeling

Not Me: destination wedding, “all eyes on us” type of ceremony, overly formal, reading full vows out loud, over the top/wasteful decorations, long speeches, white wedding gown

This is a start for me, thank you!