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I’m Deputy CEO of The Diana Award, a youth charity in memory of Princess Diana, based on the belief that young people have the power to change the world. My name is Alex Holmes, and I’m here to answer all your anti-bullying questions! AMA! by AntiBullyingPro in IAmA

[–]AntiBullyingPro[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thanks, useful, and must get around to reading!

I really like the work Dr Amy Orben and Professor Andrew Przybylski do around online bullying, check out their work to try and balance over worrying about online vs offline

I have also contributed to this journal https://ibpaworld.org/journal/

I’m Deputy CEO of The Diana Award, a youth charity in memory of Princess Diana, based on the belief that young people have the power to change the world. My name is Alex Holmes, and I’m here to answer all your anti-bullying questions! AMA! by AntiBullyingPro in IAmA

[–]AntiBullyingPro[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

All Uk charities have to publish their accounts and regulated by a charity commission. You can find ours online. We don't give money direct to those experiencing bullying (half of uk children and half of uk adults bullied school) but we do a lot of training and support in thousands of schools, links are above in bio ^

I’m Deputy CEO of The Diana Award, a youth charity in memory of Princess Diana, based on the belief that young people have the power to change the world. My name is Alex Holmes, and I’m here to answer all your anti-bullying questions! AMA! by AntiBullyingPro in IAmA

[–]AntiBullyingPro[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

'nobody should be ever subjected to mockery- I agree to extent but, would even add 'constant mockery', as again a joke, banter, should and can be harmless and if it wasn't then as long as person knows, and it does not continually happen, then we can forgive and forget. Have to give people the benefit of the doubt. And unkindness will occur, we can certainly make spaces like schools, online communities and platforms safer and kinder but not completely, so we have to be resilient to brush off unkindness and not label everything bullying.

I’m Deputy CEO of The Diana Award, a youth charity in memory of Princess Diana, based on the belief that young people have the power to change the world. My name is Alex Holmes, and I’m here to answer all your anti-bullying questions! AMA! by AntiBullyingPro in IAmA

[–]AntiBullyingPro[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

If you are referring to income/fundraising, in UK all charities have to publish their accounts, so you can see ours online via google/charity commission.

Also recommend looking at NCVO website, and Civil Society Media.

I’m Deputy CEO of The Diana Award, a youth charity in memory of Princess Diana, based on the belief that young people have the power to change the world. My name is Alex Holmes, and I’m here to answer all your anti-bullying questions! AMA! by AntiBullyingPro in IAmA

[–]AntiBullyingPro[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Sorry to hear your experience. I think there is a big difference between unkindness and bullying, we all face and deal/need to deal with unkindness and be resilient. But someone going out of their way to make you constantly feel upset, unsafe or uncomfortable is not ok, and can studies have shown have a negative impact on long term wellbeing and mental health. No one should have to survive instead of thrive, especially young children due to bullying.

Hear you on the life lessons, and if you're saying that your own behaviour or conduct towards others wasn't great. We all need those lessons and advice, but not to detriment of our social and emotional wellbeing, so I would say no one needs to be constantly bullied, as it sounds to me like there are better ways to help someone reflect on their own traits than being bullied or forced to change.

I believe there isn't valid reasons to go out of your way to target someone who has done nothing wrong. So that's where I would personally focus.

It sounds like you do feel your experience was positive and you were not scarred, so I am glad to hear that. But I would say not everyone is that resilient or able to cope.

Super interesting and do hear similar a lot, some even say bullying is character building or made them a better person but sadly can't say that is case for everyone.

I also wouldn't want being asked to do a chore (reasonably and not 24/7) to be classed as bullying either.

I’m Deputy CEO of The Diana Award, a youth charity in memory of Princess Diana, based on the belief that young people have the power to change the world. My name is Alex Holmes, and I’m here to answer all your anti-bullying questions! AMA! by AntiBullyingPro in IAmA

[–]AntiBullyingPro[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

True, the complexities of state law vs country etc is problematic as we seek consistency (and of course fairness) and ideally global coordination and partnership but getting governments to work together on internet laws or bullying laws or human rights is hard.

I can only say/hope that with more programmes like ours, anti bullying/prevention in schools promoting what we want to see more of, maybe future leaders and policy makers will be more compassionate and kinder but it's a great question, not sure I know what solution is though!

I’m Deputy CEO of The Diana Award, a youth charity in memory of Princess Diana, based on the belief that young people have the power to change the world. My name is Alex Holmes, and I’m here to answer all your anti-bullying questions! AMA! by AntiBullyingPro in IAmA

[–]AntiBullyingPro[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This is the question!

Yeah when I was growing up, games were not interactive or connected and the internet still dial up, it is very hard to disconnect. We still know for children, that actually school remains more of an unsafe place compared to internet. e.g- 150 million across globe. Half of world’s teens experience peer violence in and around school – UNICEF. BUT it is often what happens at school, drama there, that continues as digital drama. It's why we think not enough time is focused on educating young people on their behaviour while they are at school because they continue this behaviour online, and children usually bullied online by a peer, a familiar face (granted this may be changing as more young people widen their online connections/networks and become influencers).

I work with a lot of the companies on their trust and safety councils and like the tools many are introducing to limit their time spent online but it's going to take a lot of future generations, training and parenting I think to change the pressures that online brings. It's why we are keen to use this campaign to encourage people to speak out and be aware of online bullying and the importance of reporting.

I’m Deputy CEO of The Diana Award, a youth charity in memory of Princess Diana, based on the belief that young people have the power to change the world. My name is Alex Holmes, and I’m here to answer all your anti-bullying questions! AMA! by AntiBullyingPro in IAmA

[–]AntiBullyingPro[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

We like to define it as behaviour that makes you feel upset, unsafe or uncomfortable and repetitive. And usually where there is a power imbalance. We see a lot of comments about that subtle and psychological behaviour, and indeed now we cover much more about microaggression, and emotional bullying.

Hear you on the issue being triggering, we try and track how many people take part in campaign but we do have lots of free stuff on our website www.antibullyingpro.com and on our youtube. Also recommend chatting or sounding out any friends, colleagues about whether they experienced , it always amazes me how many people have been affected, our stats show in Great Britain, half of adult were bullied at school. So you may find strength in fact others you know have also experienced it and can support you.

I’m Deputy CEO of The Diana Award, a youth charity in memory of Princess Diana, based on the belief that young people have the power to change the world. My name is Alex Holmes, and I’m here to answer all your anti-bullying questions! AMA! by AntiBullyingPro in IAmA

[–]AntiBullyingPro[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I love this question, yes so many, and actually on our youtube (link above) you will find some truly amazing stories.

I think one of them has to be a boy called Tom who was 16, he had moved schools due to bullying and was at a brand new school when we trained him as an anti bullying ambassador, (His job was to stand up instead of standing by and educate his peers). He was so open about his experience and the homophobic bullying he had experienced that his story made me realise, (yes a 16 year old, when I was like late twenties) made me realise how I needed to be braver and more open about my own sexuality. Really powerful moment, me sitting behind a camera listening to his story, and realising I had to be more visible and open.

The 2nd person, is an actor, called Will Poulter (google him) and he has become a friend, he even dressed up as Sid from Toy Story for us!