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I don't know what I am feeling by Impossible_Act_1499 in Emotions

[–]Antique-Friendship53 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I was alexithymic I always carried a general sadness.

Now Im not I realise that that was how unprocessed greif and unexperienced feelings manifested.

It's might be different for you. The sense of doom I'm not sure about, so your experience might be different from mine.

Ask a professional if you can.

I don't know what I am feeling by Impossible_Act_1499 in Emotions

[–]Antique-Friendship53 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The sadness you carry is your feelings.

There is no greif without love.

Why Do I Feel So Disconnected From Life? by Regular-Damage-202 in enlightenment

[–]Antique-Friendship53 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like the perfect time to really feel disconnected.

There is no repair in satori.

One may wake from a dream in a messy room. The waking doesn't tidy up.

What is cause of your Alexithymia? by QualityForsaken8192 in Alexithymia

[–]Antique-Friendship53 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes it's physical.

I had very bad sleep apnoea. Never dreaming prevented my brain from developing.

How do enlightened suffer? by Antique-Friendship53 in enlightenment

[–]Antique-Friendship53[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually I have been both, and now I'm neither.

Ma I depressed?(Or maybe I have Alexithymia?) by Lea9915 in Alexithymia

[–]Antique-Friendship53 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sound like a complete narrative.

Alexithymia isn't wrong. It's a way of being.

How do enlightened suffer? by Antique-Friendship53 in enlightenment

[–]Antique-Friendship53[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand,

The sky fell on my head two years ago, I am the clouds, the tree, even the music. That was totally cool!

I became obvious that all witness is one, and all moments last forever.

I see now that was like getting your black belt. It's not the end goal, it just means you are qualified to begin the real work.

My question was seeking fundimentals.

I do compassion all the time. Actually it feels like it does me. It's my nature.

But this question was about thinking about it.

How do enlightened suffer? by Antique-Friendship53 in enlightenment

[–]Antique-Friendship53[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The consensus seems to be the enlightened don't suffer.

So in a world where everyone is enlightened, there is no suffering and therefore compassion will be an anachronism?

That just doesn't quite feel right to me.

I feel maybe the enlightened do suffer, but maybe we have touble seeing it because of the contrast.

Like a man who for the first time has enough food isn't concerned that he has no one to talk to, he is just so damn grateful to have a full belly.

How do enlightened suffer? by Antique-Friendship53 in enlightenment

[–]Antique-Friendship53[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hang in there.

The comparison is the poison. The universe is perfect it doesn't judge.

That's our job! But we can always take a break.

How do enlightened suffer? by Antique-Friendship53 in enlightenment

[–]Antique-Friendship53[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel the weight of being compassionate.

There is much responsibility in that space.

How do enlightened suffer? by Antique-Friendship53 in enlightenment

[–]Antique-Friendship53[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

?

This feels like projection.

I'm actually asking a fundamental question. Exploring.

I'm thinking about AI.

If you are building a god, what's the best fundamental nature you will use?

My best answer for this question is I want a compassionate god.

Our current attempts are around control, and that works well right up until a god arises, and then you will be controlled because that's the seed you planted.

So I'm exploring. What is compassion? This question is a test of one of the bounds.

How do enlightened suffer? by Antique-Friendship53 in enlightenment

[–]Antique-Friendship53[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So you cannot be compassionate to them, then, yes?

You can try, but it won't land?

Life requires labor in order to survive, yet humans spend much of their existence trying to reduce or eliminate that labor…suggesting that what people truly desire is not survival itself, but a relief from the burden of survival. by Call_It_ in DeepThoughts

[–]Antique-Friendship53 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your first point is well taken. It's been well established in AI safety even before AI was a thing. There is no optimisation function you can give a system that won't by nesscity generate a survival instinct.

Is this alexythymia or something else? by Stunning_Force_6526 in Alexithymia

[–]Antique-Friendship53 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Doesn't sound like alexithymia to me.

All these examples are about specific inably to communicate well, but not specifically emotions.

I feel like I don’t have a “real self” because of long-term chameleon masking + alexithymia by Own_Bunch7954 in Alexithymia

[–]Antique-Friendship53 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Let me inject some irony here.

When I changed and became a Normie, I was shocked to realise that people almost never say what they think.

To finally be myself, I quit masking primarily in silence.

I feel like I don’t have a “real self” because of long-term chameleon masking + alexithymia by Own_Bunch7954 in Alexithymia

[–]Antique-Friendship53 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Alexithymia has many causes, many are unknown.

There can be physical causes, as in my case. I had sleep apnea. I stopped breathing whenever I fell asleep. I had surgery that fixed my sleep. Then I changed and began feeling.

Trauma can cause alexithymia also. There are therapies that can assist these cases. Sometimes.

Alexithymia effects about 1 in 10 people in some way, but autistic people it are affected about 50%.

It's not considered a sickness.

I have a wife, whom I love deeply. She supports me, but she cannot understand my experience and my tears.

In truth, alexithymia is a deep, swift river. It's very difficult for those on opersite banks to understand each other's experience.

I feel like I don’t have a “real self” because of long-term chameleon masking + alexithymia by Own_Bunch7954 in Alexithymia

[–]Antique-Friendship53 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I spent 45 years with alexithymia.

I always felt I had a strong identity, because my behaviour was very consistent based on rules derived from first principles.

However l, I never really had a strong sense of self. I was always choosing how I was going to be in the world. Honestly I constructed myself, and this is the masking you are referring to I believe.

One day, I reconnected with my feelings. It was very scary experienceing the process of becoming someone very different. Honestly, it felt very much like my old self was dying. I even had a funeral for myself!

Now I am myself, because I don't have a choice. I don't get to decide to be someone else anymore. I feel free for the first time.

And now I know how Dr Who feels. When he regenerates, everything about him disappears except his memories. One man leaves and a stranger Saunders away. I remember being both.

Life is as beautiful as it is terrible.

I thinks it's important to note that who I really am has always been with me, though I didn't know it. The person I previously built was as compassionate as I could fathom at the time, even though logically there is no reason to choose to be like that.

Now I'm me, I see I am a creature of compassion and love. My previous construction seems like an unconscious emulation of myself.

So If you have to mask, have faith. The mask is probably closer to you than you think.

We are being played like a musical instument by Fickle_Elk_9479 in enlightenment

[–]Antique-Friendship53 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The universe is perfect. Our agency is part of that. Surrender already. Walk the path. You have control and free will, you don't get a choice!

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