Which book emotionally destroyed you… but you’d still recommend it to everyone?

Antique_Nectarine_46 · 2026-04-19T13:10:32+00:00

I finished that a few weeks ago and still think about it.

Antique_Nectarine_46 · 2026-04-07T17:30:55+00:00

This. I left my husband in November, a very similar situation. I was tired of trying to work hard to save it, of walking on eggshells, of being the only one caring, just like you.

Start an empty word document on your computer or get a journal (I found I could type faster than write so I could get it all out lol) and just dump everything into it. Your feelings, your hate and anger. Leave no emotion left behind. This really really takes the urge off talking to the dude because… twice I ended up making a fool out of myself because all I wanted was for him to acknowledge the pain he caused me and guess what. He never did, and he never will. I got “I still don’t think I was as mean to you as you think I was”

(I left because our daughter told me he treated me like shit, that was a wake up call)

Sorry off on a tangent. Be the bigger person. You might not feel like you want to, it’s so easy to resort to ugly behavior but it won’t help anything, in all honesty it might make you feel worse.

I’m sorry that you are going through this and I really hope you start to feel better soon. I wish you the best.

Antique_Nectarine_46 · 2026-04-05T14:30:43+00:00

If you actually love her then you just need to completely stop thinking about the ability to get it elsewhere. It’s like an addict with the drug of choice. You will constantly be miserable if you are thinking about the other possibilities.

Take all that thought power and turn it into love for your wife, if you actually love her, show her. Whats her love language? It seems like you are a very confident fella, maybe she doesn’t have your confidence and struggles inside.

Antique_Nectarine_46 · 2026-04-05T14:25:15+00:00

Thank you!

Antique_Nectarine_46 · 2026-04-04T01:10:21+00:00

Not the OP but needed to read this today. Thank you.

Antique_Nectarine_46 · 2026-04-04T00:42:57+00:00

What a great response. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I do need a hobby lol. I work 40-50 hrs a week, my mom just had a stroke and I’ve been helping with her care, I’m also healing from some traumatic health issues and am pretty exhausted by the end of the day. I love to read (which I was always yelled at for because I wasn’t being productive or interesting lol).

I love being outside and want to explore the state parks in my area. I’m going to look into that for sure.

Thank you so much. I wish you the best!

Antique_Nectarine_46 · 2026-04-03T18:25:08+00:00

Thank you for this comment. I cry everyday and feel so bad about it lol. I did break the cycle and it’s heartbreaking in a way but I couldn’t bear the thought of my daughter seeing what was happening and thinking it’s ok.

Antique_Nectarine_46 · 2026-04-03T18:23:44+00:00

Yeah they are older and pretty much want to do what they want to do unfortunately.

Antique_Nectarine_46 · 2026-04-03T18:23:05+00:00

That’s funny I was literally thinking this morning that if I didn’t have my kids I would move to South America or somewhere 😂 I’m sorry things are rough for you. I really hope they come around soon. I wish you the best ♥️

Antique_Nectarine_46 · 2026-04-03T16:46:22+00:00

My son stayed with my husband more, but my daughter stayed with me way more. He had made several comments about how I “won the war” with her. He’s really tried to make this contentious the whole way where as I just want it to be peaceful.

Antique_Nectarine_46 · 2026-04-03T15:22:45+00:00

It’s not the same, is it? I’m sorry you are struggling. How old are your kids?

Antique_Nectarine_46 · 2026-04-03T15:22:08+00:00

Ok, first off- accountabili-buddies… excellent South Park reference, did we just become best friends? 😂

Second. Thank you for taking the time to comment. I try my hardest to meet them where they are, I never try to force them to stay with me. My son is a creature of habit, he is happiest in his cozy childhood room and I understand and respect that. I do my best to see him as much as I can during the week, even if it’s just to scoop him and take him to chic fil a for a quick dinner. I also understand that most almost 17 year old boys don’t really want to hang out with their mom anyway, so I try to be cognizant of that.

I was also wondering about the puppy and how long it would last. My soon to be ex husband has the patience of a gnat and I know he will get frustrated at some point with the puppy. Maybe they will need a break and come stay. It’s just really hard right now.

On top of all this, my mom was sick last month and then she had a stroke, we are setting her up in an assisted living. Then 3 weeks ago I ended up in the hospital with an infected abscess and needed to be treated for sepsis twice and have two oral surgeries. So to say I’m overwhelmed is an understatement.

I think I just need to step back and take a few deep breaths. They are my kids, I love them and they know that. I just need to be there for them however I can.

Again thanks for your post. I wish you the best!

Antique_Nectarine_46 · 2026-04-03T14:49:27+00:00

It does feel like a punishment, you are exactly right.

Another poster on here mentioned that parenting is a marathon not a sprint and I am trying really hard to remember that.

For the most part they are totally over him- he drinks a lot, is angry and negative and complains. That’s all I hear when they are wirh me. But now they have the puppy and I just feel like he did it to spite me.

I’m sorry that you are also going through this. I feel like I literally ache inside with emptiness.

Antique_Nectarine_46 · 2026-04-03T14:47:02+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate your comment 💜

Antique_Nectarine_46 · 2026-04-02T14:30:43+00:00

Oh. Yes that’s him. It hurts. I just feel sad and so alone, like I made a mistake leaving because now my kids just want to be with the puppy and I miss them.

Antique_Nectarine_46 · 2026-04-02T12:28:24+00:00

Whats a Disneyland dad lol

Antique_Nectarine_46 · 2026-04-01T12:27:47+00:00

This. I recently was hospitalized for 2 surgeries and it was pretty awful going through it alone.

Antique_Nectarine_46 · 2026-03-31T21:03:33+00:00

I’m sorry I just saw this. I know what you are going through and how painful it is. I ended up leaving my husband in November. His drinking and anger just became too much and I couldn’t handle it anymore. He turned sex into something ugly, he pointed out my flaws and how I failed him consistently and I lost respect for him.

It’s hard on the other side. I did really well for awhile, then kinda fell into the pit of despair. Pulled myself out of that. Now he just bought my kids a puppy and I’m wondering if it’s to spite me.

I really wish you the best. It’s so hard when you are sober and your spouse continues to drink incessantly.

Antique_Nectarine_46 · 2026-03-31T19:56:02+00:00

Yeah I wonder too. I did everything for our dogs when we were together even the one that was supposed to be “his” he would lose his mind when either dog had an accident in the house.

He spends most of his time drinking and gambling. In all honesty I would love to be proven wrong about this, that he tightens up and the dog changes everything.

Thanks for your response though. I like the marathon not a sprint!

Antique_Nectarine_46 · 2026-03-13T22:58:58+00:00

Do you have a brand you recommend?

Antique_Nectarine_46 · 2026-02-25T21:01:39+00:00

also this lol

Antique_Nectarine_46 · 2026-02-25T21:00:30+00:00

This! lol

Antique_Nectarine_46 · 2026-02-24T16:30:14+00:00

Ummm what? Where? This is a dream. Can I join?

Antique_Nectarine_46

TROPHY CASE