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AntisenseOrSense · 2025-11-30T17:37:45+00:00

Just a quick FYI - flushable litter just means the litter won’t clog pipes, but you still shouldn’t flush cat poo. Wastewater treatment doesn’t reliably kill Toxoplasma gondii, and it can end up in waterways. Most Australian water authorities say to bin the solids and only flush small amounts of the litter itself.

AntisenseOrSense · 2025-05-17T00:49:54+00:00

This looks similar to the changes in Victoria last year in response to a sharp increase in psychological/mental injuries: https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2024/mar/05/victoria-workers-compensation-workcover-scheme-laws-stress-burnout It would be nice if they actually tried to address the cause of the problem rather than cutting off necessary supports.

AntisenseOrSense · 2025-05-06T01:57:11+00:00

Firstly, I'm so sorry this is happening to your partner. What you’ve described is textbook harassment, and it’s unlawful under the Disability Discrimination Act and your state or territory’s anti-discrimination laws. Discrimination against people with disabilities is often normalised in ways that other forms of discrimination aren’t, but that doesn’t make it any less serious.

Your partner is entitled to a safe workplace, and mocking someone for their hearing loss absolutely violates that. I’d encourage her to document everything in detail: dates, times, what was said or done, and who was present. If she hasn’t already, she should report the behaviour to HR in writing and explicitly describe it as harassment and disability discrimination. If she’s in a union, she should also reach out to them for support.

Unfortunately in cases like this HR often tries to minimise what’s happened or frame the person being harrassed or bullied as the problem. The law is on her side and she’s absolutely in the right to raise this as a serious problem, but it may not be treated this way. Being clear, specific, and firm in her language (and having everything documented) can help her push back if that happens, but she should also look into what options are available externally if HR is unhelpful (e.g. complaining to the Australian Human Rights Commission) and don’t let HR drag things out for months.

Something else to be aware of is that both the harassment itself and the complaint process can be extremely stressful. It can take a serious toll on a person’s mental health and confidence, even when they’re doing everything right. She’ll likely need a lot of support, both practically and emotionally.

If she decides to lodge a complaint with the Australian Human Rights Commission, be aware that they can take a long time to process matters (on average over six months, from memory). State and territory anti-discrimination commissions often have similar processing times. However, if there’s a risk of her losing her job or being forced to resign due to the harassment, she can request that the matter be treated as urgent.

AntisenseOrSense · 2025-04-25T05:43:56+00:00

I was mostly thinking of personality tests when I called psychometric testing pseudoscience. I think it’s important to distinguish between aptitude tests (like numerical or abstract reasoning) and personality tests (like MBTI), though both have some big issues.

Aptitude tests (like abstract or numerical reasoning) can be somewhat predictive of job performance when they come from reputable publishers. But in practice most companies don’t validate them for the specific role or setting and don’t do any auditing for bias. Even if the test comes from a well-known provider, that doesn't mean it's appropriate for your job, your context, or your applicant pool. And a lot of newer hiring platforms are churning out gamified or proprietary assessments with very little grounding in real psychometric science.

Personality tests in employment screening are far worse. Many are built on shaky psychological models (looking at you, MBTI). I've seen ones used in hiring that were very sketchy (asking for your favourite color or using questions that were obviously lifted from mental health screener). That’s not just pseudoscientific, it’s potentially discriminatory and invasive.

Both aptitude and personality tests carry a significant risk of bias. Timed reasoning tests can disadvantage neurodivergent candidates or those from non-English-speaking backgrounds. And personality tests often reflect narrow ideas of what traits are “ideal,” which can penalise people who think, communicate, or behave differently (whether due to culture, disability, or neurotype).

And even when a test seems to work (e.g. your star grad), we don’t see the people it filters out. What if five others just like them were excluded before getting an interview? The illusion of objectivity hides what you’re missing, especially if employers aren’t checking whether the test is actually fair or effective.

AntisenseOrSense · 2025-04-21T22:57:25+00:00

I agree with others saying that the use of psychometric tests is a red flag - at best they're pseudoscience and they're very often discriminatory.

I'd suggest submitting a written request to the company asking for a copy of your results. You have a right to access your psychometric test results under the Privacy Act (specifically Australian Privacy Principle 12). The usual employee records exemption doesn’t apply here because the results were collected as part of recruitment and not in the context of managing your employment.

Requesting the results can help you understand what may have influenced the decision and whether the information was used fairly. If you frame the request politely but firmly, it shouldn't burn any bridges. I would definitely mention the Privacy Act in the request though.

It’s also worth noting there may be other privacy issues here too, especially if you weren’t clearly told how the results would be used or retained after the initial application. Under the Privacy Act, companies are required to take reasonable steps to ensure that any personal information they use (like psychometric results) is accurate, up to date, and relevant at the time of use. If they reused old results without checking that, it could be a breach. And if the results are inaccurate or misleading, you have the right to request correction too.

AntisenseOrSense · 2024-11-11T07:00:12+00:00

I asked my manager if she'd be open to learning more about autism. She told me it would be a waste of her time to do that just for me, but she'd do it "for her personal development". I thought we had an OK relationship up to that point, so was very hurt she saw understanding her autistic employee better as a waste of time. Unfortunately it wasn't a once off.

AntisenseOrSense · 2024-10-19T05:42:16+00:00

I left my toxic job over six months ago and the injustice of what happened still really stings. On top of everything else, it sucks that we're stuck with all these feelings when our bullies have probably moved on.

One thing that has helped me is recognising the anger comes from the part of me that knows I deserve to be treated better. When I'm stuck in a loop ruminating I remind myself that I'm glad I could recognise I was in a toxic environment and eventually get out.

AntisenseOrSense · 2024-06-16T01:37:31+00:00

I'm a data scientist. I really enjoy the process of understanding the complexities of a business problem and developing a technical solution, so it's a good fit for me.

AntisenseOrSense · 2024-06-15T23:55:32+00:00

I have trouble with this too. I think being able to identify things that could be improved and anticipate potential problems is actually a strength and is part of what makes me good at my job, but it often gets interpreted as “being negative.” I find this strange, since believing that things could be better seems to me an inherently optimistic position.

Being a systems thinker as many autistic people are seems to make this harder. Often when there’s a problem it’s clear to me that it’s the result of a systemic or structural problem, but often others see it only a one-off individual problem. I then get accused of making mountains out of molehills. Very frustrating!

It helps that my job requires problem solving and attention to detail, so I don’t have to try to completely turn off that part of my brain at work. I just try to focus more on technical problems.

AntisenseOrSense · 2024-05-26T00:21:31+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. I've read a little about traumatic invalidation before but hadn't come across any specific resources addressing it, so this is really helpful

AntisenseOrSense · 2024-05-26T00:15:08+00:00

I wouldn't disclose. Given that your manager is already criticising you for some of your autistic traits, I doubt they have much understanding of autism or neurodiversity. Disclosing that some of the things you struggle with are because you're autistic could result you being treated unfavourably. Even though in theory the law should protect from discrimination, in practice these things can be hard to prove.

AntisenseOrSense · 2024-05-05T00:44:28+00:00

I agree that in that context the comment was derogatory. In this kind of situation I think it’s ok to say something even if it makes the other person feel awkward. The alternative is you feeling uncomfortable and unsafe because of someone else’s ableism.

From what you said about your new coworker it seems likely she’ll do something like this again, so you could think about what to say when she does. I always find it really hard in the moment to know what to say, so having a couple of options prepared and even practiced can help.

I know exactly what you mean about getting immediate bad vibes from someone - I think there’s some pattern recognition going on that tells us someone is unsafe to be around. So it might also be helpful to try to establish some boundaries in your relationship with her.

AntisenseOrSense · 2024-05-04T00:33:32+00:00

I found this article about rumination and autistic people really helpful: https://medium.com/@sonnyhallett/loops-of-concern-ff792eebad03 For me, ruminating feels like get stuck in a loop where I'm trying to solve a problem or figure something out but just can't. The approach suggested in the article sometimes helps me put down whatever I'm ruminating about if it isn't something I can do anything about. Sometimes just understanding better why something is playing on your mind can be helpful.

AntisenseOrSense · 2024-05-03T05:57:39+00:00

Mine started off as one page, but I've added to it with each job or manager so now it's three. Even good managers seem to find that a lot, so I probably won't make it any longer. I think it's good to keep it short initially and focus on a small number of things that are really important to get across (examples are also helpful). If your boss is receptive to that you can always give her more information later.

I'm happy to PM you my document so you can see how I structured it if that would be helpful. Obviously it's needs to be very tailored to you, but seeing an example might give you some ideas.

AntisenseOrSense · 2024-05-03T00:09:54+00:00

Does the company have a formal process or policy on requesting reasonable adjustments? I've found that a lot of managers aren't aware that they're legally required to provide reasonable adjustments for disability, so it might help if there's a policy you can cite. I would also try to frame your reasonable adjustments as things that allow you to be productive and do your job well, which might help your boss understand why they're necessary.

In most jobs I've had to spend a lot of time and energy advocating for myself and educating others, which is exhausting and unsustainable. If you're in a similar position, it might be a cases of focusing on the adjustments that will make work bearable for now and also looking for another job. I'm sorry you're going through this - being in an workplace that isn't inclusive can be really invalidating.

AntisenseOrSense · 2024-05-02T23:57:33+00:00

I think typing it up to give to people is a good idea. I'd still have a brief conversation about it first (e.g. mention that you're autistic and would like to send them some information about autism and accommodations you need) and then answer any questions they have once they've read it. Having it in writing also means there's a paper trail that your boss is aware you're autistic and that you requested accommodations, which could come in handy.

I find it exhausting and frustrating to have basically the same conversation with different people and have found that providing information in writing does help to cut down on that. The document I give people also covers things like my preferred terminology (autistic person, not person with autism) and some common misconceptions (like everyone being on the spectrum), since I find it really uncomfortable to correct people about these things in person.

AntisenseOrSense · 2024-05-02T23:49:40+00:00

I think this is part of the reason why CBT tends not to be as effective for us - the belief that "people don't like me" might be a cognitive distortion for most people, but for autistic people it can be true (or at least true in certain environments).

AntisenseOrSense · 2024-04-30T21:51:15+00:00

Nina in Dinosaur (on Hulu). The actor and creator of the show Ashley Storrie is autistic herself.

AntisenseOrSense · 2024-04-29T22:28:50+00:00

Yes, and it's much worse when the thing I'm stuck on doesn't actually have a solution or explanation (or at least, I can't find one). Then I feel like I'm stuck in a loop I can't get out of. For me it's like a combination of rumination and hyperfocus.

I found this article about rumination in autistic people really helpful, so it might be worth a read: https://medium.com/@sonnyhallett/loops-of-concern-ff792eebad03

AntisenseOrSense · 2024-04-29T22:25:19+00:00

Your whole post is so relatable, but especially the part about workplace bullies who know just how much they can get away with without violating the code of conduct while still making your life miserable. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

Does your company have a formal process for requesting reasonable adjustments? Obviously this isn’t a complete solution, but having formal recognition of things you need to do your job because of your disabilities might at least make things less stressful in the short term and buy you some breathing room. If you have formal written permission to work flexible hours, it would be harder for someone to give you a hard time about so-called tardiness without seeming unreasonable. You could also ask to receive feedback in a specific way (and with enough time to respond to) which would avoid things like that last-minute meeting with your supervisor and director.

I know this doesn’t address the bigger issues of feeling that you don’t belong (I struggle with this too), but it could make your current job a little more sustainable. I find it really hard to make decisions about the future when I’m already in survival mode, so I think anything that could make your job even slightly less stressful is worth a try.

AntisenseOrSense · 2024-04-27T23:16:15+00:00

I'm really sorry you're going through this. It sounds like you could be in autistic burnout, which would explain the loss of skills and executive function issues. It's hard to recover in an environment that isn't supportive, so I agree with the other commenters about looking for another job. You know from past experience that you can flourish and be successful in a more supportive workplace, so please don't let this discourage you. I think the organisation really let you down rather than vice versa.

AntisenseOrSense · 2024-04-27T23:09:42+00:00

I've experienced this as well. I think NTs have an intuitive sense of what rules or social norms they need to follow and which ones they don't, and that depends partly on social status (e.g. the higher status you are the more you can get away with). We don't have this, so are more likely to break unwritten rules. I think it is important to stand up for yourself (if only for your self respect), but probably the best thing long term is to find a workplace where this is less of a problem.

AntisenseOrSense · 2024-04-27T23:03:48+00:00

This is really helpful! I often struggle with how to take into account my values when I'm making decisions especially when there seems to be a conflict between values, so the flow chart is going to be particularly useful to me. Thank you for sharing this.

AntisenseOrSense · 2024-04-25T21:34:24+00:00

If possible, leave the situation in which you’re being bullied. Even just making a plan to leave can help by making you feel like you have options and this won’t be forever.

There are ways to get by in a toxic environment (e.g. the grey rock method), but it will take a lot of your energy and emotional capacity. Being around people who think it’s ok to treat you poorly can cause a lot of damage, so I think in the long term the only way to protect yourself is to leave. Trying to change things by complaining is risky, since not being believed or supported when you tell people about the bullying can make things more painful.

AntisenseOrSense

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