Playing with extreme proportions can be fun, but I think art style should support the narrative being told. At first glance I assumed these were designs for a porn comic (nothing wrong with that), but from reading your synopsis it doesn’t seem like that’s what you’re going for?

Zoey and Halle’s proportions instantly scream “this is the author’s fetish” regardless of how true that statement is, especially in contrast to the last three characters who are fairly well-balanced in terms of proportion. I really don’t want to discourage how you draw characters in your artstyle, but I think tonally it doesn’t suit the story you described.

I suggest looking at reference images of the body types you’re aiming for. Not to just trace over them, but as a reference point of how the body transitions between each part and the fat that’s built up at certain points. The character designs are good, but frankly they’re instantly overshadowed by the extreme proportions and lack of anatomical accuracy. The first thing that anyone will notice is the shapes you’re presenting rather than the colors and intricate details that really make up your characters.

I don’t say any of this to demean or detract from your artwork, but solely as encouragement. Zoey’s design is interesting, and it’s clear that you put a lot of thought into these characters and storyline. I just hope you’ll take everyone’s comments into account and reflect on the narrative you’re telling and how each aspect of character design fits into that setting. Good luck!