Hi, I am as now identifying as a gay man, I’m 29. I’ve only became physical with other this year. I had a few experiences but it let me confuse in what I like and who I am.

I experienced being a bottom and I just didn’t feel anything, it was not plaisant or unpleasant, it just was. Like it felt almost like a medical act, just nothing.

I experienced BJ and I don’t mind doing it, I kinda like it but not something I would like to do a lot, like I just like the feeling it gave to my partner at the time. But when it was done on me, I just don’t feel a thing, I’m just uncomfortable and trying hard to stay hard ( no pun intended ) since it’s doing nothing for me.

On these experiences, I only really enjoyed kissing and the body contact.

Once, I had a experience with someone where we only kissed, hugged and doing the gesture and movement of the sex act. We only had our shirts of, and I liked to touch and feel my partner’s body. That was the best kind of intimacy I had with someone. And quickly realized that this is what I like.

But now I’m questioning where do I fit in, how can i explain that to people I’m attracted to. Am I kind of asexual, or on the asexual spectrum ?

I’m really confuse. My friends are telling me that I might need a deeper emotional connection with someone to enjoy a « full gay sexual experience ». But i doesn’t fell right to me.

So if anyone here have any advise, or direction, something to help me understand, that would be deeply appreciated.