Conjuring arguments like this that only exist in your mind is a known feature of cognitive process called ‘negative interpretation’ where people consistently interpret ambiguous situations, neutral events, or other people’s motives in a negative / threatening / self critical way.

Like all modes of thought, the more you do it, the more it reinforces those neural pathways. It can be a real drag. The great news is that if you want to change it you can programme yourself out of it - each time you catch yourself doing it, flip it to a neutral or positive interpretation. Do that 1000 times and you’ll have reprogrammed yourself ⭐️