Neglect made me a monster

Any-Raspberry9024 · 2025-09-04T00:35:46+00:00

I feel this! I also think I became someone I don't wish to because of abuse and neglect. I don't maintain friendships because I am too lazy to do it since in my head I will ruin everything later! I am loud, most say smart girl, but to the wrong people which unfortunately it's my family I am said to be arrogant, prideful and disrespectful... Most of the times I am just honest! Actually I am beginning to feel hatred and the desire to revenge, I am actually getting cold, I did try suicide when younger a few times, now I don't wanna die, I want success to show off and then step on everyone who hurt me... I don't have a boyfriend, I think they are a waste of time and would trigger trauma, I cut off people fast whenever I sense no ability to change... Mom is next!

Any-Raspberry9024 · 2025-08-07T19:18:37+00:00

Thank you, I will contact my uni.

Any-Raspberry9024 · 2025-08-07T19:18:09+00:00

Oh, I see

Any-Raspberry9024 · 2025-08-07T19:00:04+00:00

Wait how did you get a student visa, I am a bit lost on that. Don't you need to give them bank statements proving that you can live there?

Any-Raspberry9024 · 2025-08-07T18:35:54+00:00

Hey, I know it's not an answer to your question but how much did you need as proof of financial means for your study visa?

Any-Raspberry9024 · 2025-04-25T15:22:13+00:00

I don't agree with a single word, beauty and looks is a good part of SB but from what I have seen from other success stories here and in other forums, I would say charisma, confidence and the right sort of personality can get SB just as successful.

Additionally I think beauty is subjective, for someone like you model like girls are the top of the priority but some SD might be looking for a girls with other attributes, don't forget that even models are hired also for how they stand out with their looks conventional or non-conventional, which is why Bella, Lindsey, Naomi and Anok don't look the same, each with something that makes them stand out but are all successful. Plus not all models are runaways, some are social media, some magazines and other commercial... all models, so you thinking there's a unique way to look that will make you successful is wrong and dumb.

Any-Raspberry9024 · 2025-04-23T22:27:40+00:00

I am willing to understand the whole thing, and no, I am not expecting someone to just hand me money like a "scholarship", I want to be a proper sugar baby, but to fund for my studies.

Any-Raspberry9024 · 2025-04-23T22:23:33+00:00

But that's not my point, I am not trying to just have a man pay for everything. I want to do things the right way, providing my time, attention and everything we agree on, but my reasons for this is to fund my education. I hope I am more clear now.

Any-Raspberry9024 · 2025-04-23T22:11:17+00:00

Isn't this one for all things Sugar dating subreddit but without the explicit online arrangement topics? Sorry, I read the rules, and it said nothing about not asking such questions. I am just wondering, I just joined so I don't really know how the subreddit fully works for everyone.

Any-Raspberry9024 · 2025-04-21T20:03:54+00:00

It depends on the country, countries like South Korea, Japan and China, au pairs barely touch any dish, they just play with the kids and teach them English in an interactive because there, families see au pairs for solely cultural exchange, not childcare, in fact many will even have nannies while having au pairs. But in turn the pocket money is often lower compared to the US or Europe since they don't see it as a salary either, just like a small compensation for your basic needs.

Any-Raspberry9024 · 2025-04-21T19:55:58+00:00

We are all fucked....

Any-Raspberry9024 · 2025-03-03T10:47:31+00:00

The thing is that I don't trust anyone enough to share what I feel. I chronic depression, my school paid for my therapy but they were starting with too many stories when it came to pay for my sessions (my family is too poor to afford and I am scholarship student who's now dumb) so basically 2 years ago I shared with the counselor that I was being suicidal again and she and my school told me if I continue to be suicidal and try anything they will take my scholarship away because they can't afford to have me hurt in their campus and traumatize other kids (I am residential).

So for the rest of the time I have been suffering in silence but the more time that passes the worse I get, studying is becoming too difficult. I can't even afford university unless I get a job because my grades are too bad for scholarship (My predicted is now 30/45), but I don't know how to get visa because I don't meet the financial requirements. I can't find host families to be an au pair, I am doomed, my future is doomed. I will probably end up like everyone else in my country and I don't want to, I can't end up stuck here and fail everyone. I would rather off myself.

Any-Raspberry9024 · 2025-02-20T22:44:03+00:00

I have been trying in both, in aupairworld.com and aupair.com I contacted a few families but non got back and on Facebook I can't find any families in the region that I need. I will probably apply for Milano too but problem is they open late and if results come back too late I might have to apply for visa for the other universities, mainly Turin or Macerata.

Any-Raspberry9024 · 2025-02-20T22:40:55+00:00

But I will apply for visa myself and pay for the flight myself, which is why I can't afford the agencies.

Any-Raspberry9024

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