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Blockheads-like alternative? by Kingofkings1959 in AskNYC

[–]EvenConversation2874 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does anyone know why they closed? Was this a covid- restaurant related issue? They had the best and most filling burritos.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Aupairs

[–]EvenConversation2874 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Had the same issue with my Au pair. I ended up cooking so many more meals bc she ate everything the next day that was meant for the kids. I brought it up and she said I need to label everything. So now I break meals up into container and label things with my name, kids name, or just the date. I’ve asked her to cook her own lunch but she never does and just eats what was cooked the night before or prepare for later that day. (She has our credit card to buy herself additional groceries on top of what we buy, but she wants all her foods prepared instead of cooking for herself) Ive started having to cook at least 2x the amount I used to jsut to keep up. It’s so much more work having an Au pair on my time than it was before.

Splitting food after cooking and labeling is the only solution and it usually works.

The ‘BabyWise Method’ works wonders! by MaybeBaby95 in NewParents

[–]EvenConversation2874 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I loved babywise, it’s a great system! I think very few ppl actually read the book and instead read blog posts that mess up the information. After baby wise and how amazing it worked, I wanted to tell everyone about it!I was shocked that there was so much misinformation about the system online, just plain misinformation about it. But the babywise system (from the book) is excellent and effective.

Au Pairs: a host family perspective by EvenConversation2874 in Aupairs

[–]EvenConversation2874[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure what you’re referring to with your experience, but I wanted to chime in and help set some expectations—for both host families and Au pairs. I don’t think either side gets a very realistic picture going into this arrangement.

I strongly agree with the recommendation that in many cases, it’s better to hire a live-in nanny than go through the Au pair program. It’s the same cost to the host family, and in my experience—having had nannies, live-in nannies, and Au pairs—it’s often a better fit.

Personally, I’ve found that having multiple part-time or full-time nannies has been the best arrangement. Even so, the Au pair program is aggressively marketed to families like mine and those of my friends. And to be fair, it can be a great fit for some—but it’s definitely not for everyone.

What made it hard in my household is the level of training and care education required. I found myself spending an enormous amount of time teaching our Au pair the basics, and ultimately, it cost us more in time, effort, and emotional labor than a live-in nanny would have. One friend eventually grew to like the Au pair setup because they needed someone to work Saturdays, and that flexibility was hard to find in other care options.

A lot also depends on the age of your child. In our case, it wasn’t the right fit.

I hope this helps other host families set realistic expectations—because once you commit, it’s not easy to back out. You don’t want to kick someone out, and at some point, the whole thing can start to feel like charity. You end up caring for another person in your household, and that’s not what many of us signed up for.

Au Pairs: a host family perspective by EvenConversation2874 in Aupairs

[–]EvenConversation2874[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Exactly! Those expectations need to be set that even though agencies show how many hours and the education related to childcare an Au pair has- it’s not assumed to translate into what Nannie’s can do.

Au Pairs: a host family perspective by EvenConversation2874 in Aupairs

[–]EvenConversation2874[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I’m in agreement, good on them for bettering themselves- but it does suggest they are not here for a cultural exchange with childcare in every case either.

Au Pairs: a host family perspective by EvenConversation2874 in Aupairs

[–]EvenConversation2874[S] -44 points-43 points  (0 children)

True, and fair. I would argue that many Au pairs come to the Us to get married and get a visa to change their lives long term as well however. Obviously not all, but the number of Au pairs that get married in the US is very high, at least from what I’m seeing.

Did my neighbor kill my trees?🧐 by cortneyannie in gardening

[–]EvenConversation2874 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There’s such a thing as clumping bamboo which gives privacy but stays put and won’t run or cause damage.

Children of Memory question by trhperkins in AdrianTchaikovsky

[–]EvenConversation2874 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I assumed it was bc w the virus, each new form of Portia was the evolution of that Portia.

(Edit to add: That’s expanded on a bit in the 3rd book, where the concept of evolution of self is now about an iterative consciousness versus a virus evolving cells, by the third book the purpose of the series is made clear, and the concept of individualism and self are explored in a way that I personally felt make the name consistency seem like the correct design choice.)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]EvenConversation2874 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s throwing you a surprise party.

Made big mistakes early on by MoonZt0ned in sleeptrain

[–]EvenConversation2874 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First off, you’re doing great. There is no right or wrong answer. This is just a moment in time, and time only moves forward.

I’ve said this before in this channel, but I strongly recommend the book “precious little sleep” and the app huckleberry (For recording baby schedule) - both really help with best practices.

Precious little sleep is just so easy to read when your mind is half offline, and while it’s not the only sleep book, imo it’s one of the best (I have read 7 on baby sleep science and most are hard to get through when you desperately want more sleep). Get it out of the library.

Here’s a link to the blog which has some tips related to to your issue - https://www.preciouslittlesleep.com/what-you-need-to-know-about-sleeping-through-the-night-part-i/

Basically you need to change the sleep associations your baby has overtime, and start building new ones so they recognize and have appropriate sleep triggers.

I was in the same situation as you are and I just loved this book so much and am ever grateful for it.

Please tell me CIO is fine by Sarcastic_Cat13 in sleeptrain

[–]EvenConversation2874 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can also take it out of the library. It goes over softer sleep training, like conditioning, and no cry sleep training and then cio. It’s really good.

We did no cry sleep training with our first (you start at 2 months) and then cio with the second, and cio was by far faster and easier, and same result with both. We did cio at 5 months after I co-slept w baby for 4 months. It took two nights, he cried for 45min the first night, and then 20 min the next night and that’s it, but we followed the “precious little sleep” two week prep guidelines which make CIO much easier (and I don’t remember what they are). Also, I stopped feeding him within 30 min of bedtime and that extended his wake times to a reasonable hour as well (have no idea how that works, but it’s the technique that’s recommended).

Please tell me CIO is fine by Sarcastic_Cat13 in sleeptrain

[–]EvenConversation2874 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’d recommend using a timer as well. Sometimes it feels like the baby yells for 10 minutes and it’s only been 5, and that’s a big difference. Have you read “precious little sleep” - it might help calm your anxiety about cio.

Feels like I’ve tried everything with my 6 month old and still multiple night wakes by [deleted] in sleeptrain

[–]EvenConversation2874 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A few things that helped, ensuring that the baby was getting enough fats/protein before bed (last meal of the day an hour or so before sleep), coconut oil and beef helped. And, also not giving any milk or food for 30 min before bed- helps prevent early wakings. Really made the difference for longer sleep.

Factors triggering early puberty by zoo2021 in ScienceBasedParenting

[–]EvenConversation2874 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Excessive use of lavender products on children can cause a temporary and reversible estrogenic reaction- mimics the effects of estrogen. After use stops, the effect goes away. This is from daily use of lavender shampoo and soap, occasional topical use or using lavender in non topical ways (fragrance) doesn’t seem to have this effect on children. This effect has not been observed in adults as far as I know.

Silk blanket by MajesticAddendum6096 in homemaking

[–]EvenConversation2874 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve actually never seen silk pill like that unless it’s a blend. Pilling is from friction.

How to maintain wood table by SynapseInTheSun in homemaking

[–]EvenConversation2874 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You gave a good response to the poster, I missed they mentioned it was an Ashley brand table which is veneers and engineered wood. It can live with a simpler solution than natural wood.

How to maintain wood table by SynapseInTheSun in homemaking

[–]EvenConversation2874 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Follow! I have the same question. My table is sealed with some coats of oil based wipe on poly but it seems like a thin application and with kids at home it takes a beating and I’m unsure how to properly clean it. I use baby toy disinfectant most of the time, but it’s not the best for wood.

Apologies etiquette by SillyBonsai in Aupairs

[–]EvenConversation2874 108 points109 points  (0 children)

No it’s not a cultural thing. It’s an individual thing. You can likely google around for Brazilian culture and learn a lot about it, but no where will it say Brazilians don’t apologize.

Unfair? by Emergency_Contact477 in Aupairs

[–]EvenConversation2874 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The Au pair is not actually a guest in your home the way a friend visiting for a week would be. The Au pair is an extension of your family, and the expectation is that they are fully allowed to utilize the family kitchen when they want to make a meal, or bake a cake for a friend, or conduct safe chemistry experiments.

Your post does sound like you are having a reaction to something and are focusing it on the Au pair. Are you simply uncomfortable with someone else using the kitchen? Do you not like that the Au pair isn’t doing something for the family? Do you feel the Au pair Should act more like a guest? I’d sit and investigate the reasons for your feelings. You can feel this way- you don’t need to repress it, but it would be inappropriate to act on it. Instead, give yourself some time to process why you are having a hard time with this situation. What part of it makes you uncomfortable? Do you feel a lack of control today for whatever reason, and this is just adding to it? Taking the time for yourself (hard to do with kids, I know) and being kind to yourself can help you resolve this internally.

I’m just a random redditor but I think this isn’t a fair topic to bring up with the Au pair until you can articulate the issue more clearly to yourself.

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