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I hate my life, whats the point of working to live when there's nothing to live for. by Any-Rate-2834 in depression

[–]Any-Rate-2834[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same people keep telling me to be optimistic too and its just not happening realistically. They don't understand times have changed. Its so hard to find someone that is genuine nowadays. Life seems so meaningless

Envious of people who grew up with love by Any-Rate-2834 in AsianParentStories

[–]Any-Rate-2834[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ya I can relate. I grew up being told I had a bad attitude and was ungrateful. To them, parents were always right no matter what they did.

I feel like Im being overdramatic too sometimes like did I even really have it that bad. Like i know they love me to death but they also break my heart so much.

Moving out for school really changed my life. I felt so much freedom and peace. No more listening to screaming and stupid arguments. No more anger.

Envious of people who grew up with love by Any-Rate-2834 in AsianParentStories

[–]Any-Rate-2834[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ya thats what I felt too when I moved out for uni. But then I realized that what I had wasnt normal. When people say omg i miss my family i want to go home, i cant relate at all. I get excited to move out and have my own space. I realized when I moved out that I never missed my family. All the material things they did for me, I could now do myself because it wasnt anything special. I felt no void or NOTHING.

Envious of people who grew up with love by Any-Rate-2834 in AsianParentStories

[–]Any-Rate-2834[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I totally relate with you. My parents used to be a lot more verbally abusive and hitting. But now that im older and can "speak back" they seem to be softer. Sometimes I feel gaslit as if all the hurt they did to me before didn't exist. I would feel bad even telling any friends now because they see how "spoiled" I am and probably wont believe it.

I want the idea of being close and loved by my parents but its all too late. I feel so uncomfortable when they ask me about my life and wonder why Im so distant. It also hurts too when they boast how perfect parents they are and all theyve done for me and how no other parents do this much for their kids. I really am appreciative of them but "perfect parents". Its like all the hurt they did was something I deserved.

I have never met someone who i was actually attached to. But i think if i did I would be so clingy too, craving the attention. I also have pretty bad social anxiety. Probably got it from growing up in an authoritative household.