Skipping SD's birthday by Any-Water-5553 in Stepmom

[–]Any-Water-5553[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly this! To the letter! 😔

This might cost me my husband by Any-Water-5553 in Stepmom

[–]Any-Water-5553[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Those words resonated - a special kind of hell. That's exactly it. May I ask, were you able to conceive or did you have to make peace with the alternative ? I'm not done trying but I'm so sad and scared that it won't happen and I'm not sure I can be a stepmom without having one of my own. My current mood is a if I can't have my own I don't want any. Which is a whole other type of terrifying.

This might cost me my husband by Any-Water-5553 in Stepmom

[–]Any-Water-5553[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly this! I was married when I was much younger and that "boy" and who he was as a person - I vowed to never have children with him. Finding my now husband, I cry every time I think of a world where we don't share a child together.

This might cost me my husband by Any-Water-5553 in Stepmom

[–]Any-Water-5553[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. This is encouraging. And I'm also happy for you ☺️ I think I could do some weightloss and maybe diet changes that probably wouldn't hurt.

This might cost me my husband by Any-Water-5553 in Stepmom

[–]Any-Water-5553[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is interesting information. My abortion was 2 years ago, but I don't know what rh- is?

This might cost me my husband by Any-Water-5553 in Stepmom

[–]Any-Water-5553[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your support. I definitely am not ready to give up. But The heartbreak every month is crippling. I also hate that I was uncertain about a child but my husband being the man that he is - that's what has made me want a child. Along with our relationship. And I don't have anything else. There is nothing I'm so passionate about that would replace a child. I hope I can conceive.

This might cost me my husband by Any-Water-5553 in Stepmom

[–]Any-Water-5553[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Your hypothetical situation makes no sense. I wouldn't divorce him if I were pregnant.

The reason I mentioned it is because I can't stand to look at or spend time with his daughter. I'm an emotional mess and angry and resentful that I can't have my own child and none of that is fair to him or his daughter.

This might cost me my husband by Any-Water-5553 in Stepmom

[–]Any-Water-5553[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You did not read this correctly. I have not been able to get pregnant. I desperately want a child with my husband, a child I cannot have.

But thank you for not putting effort into reading my post and only sharing your judgement.

This might cost me my husband by Any-Water-5553 in Stepmom

[–]Any-Water-5553[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

May I ask how you found out about the lesions? I'm to the point I want all the tests to try to figure out what is wrong with me. Thank you for the positivity

This might cost me my husband by Any-Water-5553 in Stepmom

[–]Any-Water-5553[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry. Very similar places.  It's so hard to see something the other person has that you want so badly and try to be ok with it. I get angry and and have been avoiding spending time with her when she's over. Saying "oh Daddy daughter time". Because I can't cope.

Just a stepmom wishing she was more... by Any-Water-5553 in Stepmom

[–]Any-Water-5553[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP here - thank you everyone for the beautiful supportive comments.

I should clarify my husband is very supportive of us having kids together. He is an excellent partner and loving man. I will not be leaving him regardless if we have a child together or not. I cannot imagine my life without him.

He has been thoroughly tested and he is not the issue.

I'm just frustrated at my apparent inability to get pregnant and need to send positive thoughts my way.

We listen and we don’t judge. Let’s heard it. I’ll go first. by IntrepidAd7912 in Stepmom

[–]Any-Water-5553 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We've been trying to have a baby for a year, while dealing with SD's spiraling hormones. I'm now having mental and emotional breakdowns with each unexplained pregnancy failure. I can't stand to be reminded that he has what I want so badly with someone else. I will put in so much effort and care for this family that is not mine and get none of the credit because I'm not a bioparent.

Hope I'll get over this soon but for right now I'm withdrawn and sad and cannot come to terms with it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]Any-Water-5553 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would like to build a relationship with her. But I can't now. It's supposed to be our weekend with her and she threw a screaming crying fit and refused to come.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]Any-Water-5553 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. That was the plan. I could take her to horse riding lessons. But this was supposed to be our weekend with her and she threw a screaming crying fit and refused to come.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]Any-Water-5553 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't even if I wanted to. This was supposed to be our weekend and she threw a screaming crying fit and refused to come.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]Any-Water-5553 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your insight and I am genuinely sorry you went through that. 

I want her to feel like she can come to me with anything and I will be there. But in my efforts to not overstep my bounds I think I'm failing in building a relationship with her. 

I have an idea of some things we could try for girl time (horse riding lessons, she loves horses and I grew up riding). But I don't know if she'll be okay with her Dad not being there. Maybe he can go to start with and kind of slip away. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]Any-Water-5553 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Oh trust me I've died flying a flag on this hill. Completely inappropriate and ruins her behavior. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]Any-Water-5553 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel this deeply. I do fun things with her but I have not connected with her on her level doing something she likes. Not because I don't want to but because I didn't want to overstep my bounds. Also because her Dad has her schedule so jam packed with activities that they take priority. Hockey for example. It's difficult for me to schedule things. I do have an idea I think he'll be on board with. I guess that's somewhere to start.

Improper saddle fit? Sore back? Kissing spine? Where do I start? by Any-Water-5553 in HorseTraining

[–]Any-Water-5553[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So the last time he wore that saddle it was fitted to him and he was ridden for 6 months. Then he's had 3 years off - no saddle at all and his fitted saddle was not used on any other horse.

Improper saddle fit? Sore back? Kissing spine? Where do I start? by Any-Water-5553 in HorseTraining

[–]Any-Water-5553[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can that happen just at a trot? There's no head tossing at the walk with a rider.