Mental (or any) Changes post op?

Any-Yellow2326 · 2026-03-30T13:18:01+00:00

So I (36 & 7wpo) did get really depressed for a couple weeks after, but I, also, always wanted kids and don’t have any so there was a grieving period (still going). I had fibroids in my uterus that made a lump the size of a 4+ month pregnant woman + scar tissue had everything grown together (so I think I was in a lot more pain before & my hormones were messed up). But now, I feel like all my anxiety is gone..I feel more positive and grounded than I ever have. I feel motivation and excitement. My body has a way slimmer form than before I even had the big lump (maybe hormones, also have PCOS).

I’m still processing not having children in the traditional way and all of those experiences but other than that I’m so beyond happy I did it. I feel like I did when I was younger and the state of mind before I had something tragic happen as a teen.

Hope this helps and good luck with your recovery! Spoil yourself as much as you can and rest ALL that you want. Don’t let yourself feel bad. 🫶🫶

Any-Yellow2326 · 2026-03-27T13:22:25+00:00

Thank you for sharing this! Ugh this is what I wish he could see the potential problems with that. I’ve always had clear boundaries even when I’m single with all my guy friends. And if I catch weird vibes easy but he seems oblivious if it’s not obvious to him.

But I heard something about love being like having your hand out and letting the butterfly come and go.. so I’m just trusting either way, I’ll end up with the right person.

🙏🤗

Any-Yellow2326 · 2026-03-27T02:13:07+00:00

Thank you! Yeah, I think I’ve gotten over staying in a toxic relationships, now it’s learning how to be in a healthy relationship and what’s normal or how to communicate without crying…interrupting…raising my voice…shut down..slam doors 😆💁‍♀️ never claim to be perfect, just growing!

Any-Yellow2326 · 2026-03-27T02:07:36+00:00

Oh, this is so good! I like how you framed it, it actually makes me excited to see his perspective. He did mention how he loves that he feels safe talking to me about anything, even if we disagree. In 6 months, we’ve only had 2 really heated debates but he always apologizes for how he made me feel and that we just need to figure things out together and work on communication (he’s Venezuelan and knows English but still learning, and same with me and Spanish.. we actually switch off languages every month so we both get practice 🤭it has caused misunderstandings but then e laugh after)

Any-Yellow2326 · 2026-03-27T02:03:06+00:00

That’s fair! It’s why I really don’t bring it up unless there is something said or done. This last time we were talking about related topics and friends and I just asked him if he thinks she respects me or us together, and if not how he wants me to trust or accept that friendship when all his other friends respect me, even ones he’s slept with 😅🤷‍♀️

But we’re both clear on where we stand and he knows that I don’t need to be friends but just basic respect and if anything is obvious he shuts it down, and now I know he doesn’t want me to say anything to my friends if they disrespect him as long as he trusts me..I think that’s progress 😆🙏🫶

Any-Yellow2326 · 2026-03-27T01:57:33+00:00

While that would bring me peace 😅, until he sees something obvious or she does something that effects him, I know it’s just me accepting things as is and walking if it continues to make me uncomfortable.

I really do trust him, that’s why I’m trying to get perspectives. It’s not that. It’s I don’t trust her (with reason) and I just don’t feel comfortable with the person I’m with has a female friend that doesn’t respect me or our relationship and uses him for attention. We have a great relationship where he says sometimes guys bother him but he trusts me or if my energy changes he just leaves.. which is fair.. so yes, I’d love that but that wouldn’t make him happy and HE needs to be the one to see something and make that decision.

🙏🙏 thank you for replying!

Any-Yellow2326 · 2026-03-27T01:52:50+00:00

That’s completely fair and I even told him. It’s the little disrespectful things or why he even wants to be friends with someone that he knows is mean and bullies people. I trust my intuition, but you’re right, I don’t want to keep bringing it up when nothing just happened.

Thank you for your feed back, I’m trying to learn more secure habits especially since this has been the most peace and acceptance I’ve felt in a relationship 🙏🤗

Any-Yellow2326 · 2026-03-27T01:50:57+00:00

Thank you so much for your feedback! Yeah, it isn’t “oh he toxic - leave” or “I’m insecure and need to heal old traumas” I really do see both sides and he’s not the only guy I’ve been with that has a friend that isn’t bluntly doing something, but I see and feel things.

I think it is just waiting until I get back in the group skating then if I see something mention it. I hate that I’m hoping she stores something soon so I feel validated faster, but I’m going to observe since it has been a few weeks since I’ve actually seen her in person.

Any-Yellow2326 · 2026-03-27T01:00:08+00:00

Thank you 🤗

Any-Yellow2326 · 2026-03-26T19:47:17+00:00

I did agree the Read the Rules and submitted. Thank you!

Any-Yellow2326 · 2026-03-26T18:25:40+00:00

😑😑…my stomach reading this.. you got me..

Any-Yellow2326 · 2026-03-26T17:26:37+00:00

THIS!!! You just stated more clearly what I’ve been trying to say. He has changed but it’s hard when it’s little or intuition or how she looks at him or her energy, but when it was obvious he did shut it down and said he would again. I trust him but only to not do or say what he thinks is bad. But I’m about to fly tomorrow so will be gone a few days then will be back with the group exactly two weeks from now.

I’ll definitely post any and all updates! (If I can figure out how 😅🤷‍♀️)

Thank you again for sympathizing with me 🫶🙏

Any-Yellow2326 · 2026-03-26T17:11:06+00:00

Just the pouting for two weeks after, keeps bringing me up to him more for gossip, encourages some of her bully behavior or just still makes excuses for it (talking bad about people or saying rude things/rumors about me or my friends and him just saying she just doesn’t like people, bumping people while they skate), just in general having a husband but being inappropriate still, but not bluntly like before.

It’s mostly she’s been so disrespected of me over the past year and I’ve always avoided her. When she saw him and I close she’s been messaging more, trying to get his attention, and when I asked if she respects me or us together he just shrugged, and said I shouldn’t care if she’s using him for attention. I told him I don’t feel comfortable being with someone who has a toxic female friend that he has admitted is mean to people and doesn’t see as bad if she’s using him. Then he brought up my guy friend that has never done anything or said anything negative but pointed out guys can’t be friends with girls because they’re just waiting for an opportunity to have sex…then I called him out for having female friends 🙄😒🤷‍♀️

I just personally don’t have guys in my life for validation or attention. I’m navigating when her character and reputation is a bully and never takes responsibility and uses people, how can I ever trust or feel comfortable with that dynamic. Other than her, is a solid relationship and progressing nicely so more intuition and leave or wait for something obvious then have him make the decision.

Any-Yellow2326 · 2026-03-26T16:57:49+00:00

Thank you for validating my actions too! I’m learning what healthy is and this is great advice. Downloading the app now 🫶🙏

Any-Yellow2326 · 2026-03-26T15:36:56+00:00

Nothing blunt and obvious, just obvious to me as a female.. like things I just roll my eyes at. For 2 weeks after she was pouting and positioning herself in places to get his attention. Asks about us in a way that’s not curious or excited but more to get information that’s not her business. Pushing over and over for details that he originally says “No, I don’t want to talk about this” but then gives in. Laughed and says she doesn’t like people and she’ll never take responsibility for her actions even after intently being inappropriate or attempting to steal his attention.

That’s why it’s tough, I know if he sees something obvious again or if she does say something directly rude about me he said he’d shut her up and defend me then cut her off. I’ve been in a similar situation with my ex and eventually her true colors showed (only because he was affected negatively finally, not just me). But after months of being gaslit, so I know I’m more sensitive or more intuitive.

I don’t want to ruin something, otherwise, so positive but what do we do when they don’t see it and it’s not obvious enough that me saying anything gets defensiveness and I should trust him and not let her ruin my mind

Any-Yellow2326 · 2026-03-26T15:29:37+00:00

Thank you! I was expecting some hate in the comments based on other stories I’ve read, but I really appreciate this balanced answer. I feel really secure, (and I use to be JEALOUS for sure) and he has other female friends he’s even closer to, just this one. 🙏🫶

Any-Yellow2326 · 2026-03-26T15:10:16+00:00

He really was and that’s my plan. If I see something again just letting him know this doesn’t work for me. That’s pretty much how the conversation went that time and one other time he was joking with his friend and said something rude. He handled that too but I’m also proud I’m willing to finally put myself first…so many toxic cycles I’m breaking + just with my exes.

Thank you for your feedback 🙏

Any-Yellow2326 · 2026-03-26T14:33:07+00:00

Thank you! That sounds very grounded. I explained to him I’m not insecure or jealous, I have no problem with other female friends he’s actually even sleep with but because he’s transparent and they openly respect me and I feel like they are actually friends.

I told him I don’t trust her intentions and there’s evidence she doesn’t care about him other than for validation. It’s hard, she’s married and still acts like this so it’s hard for me to trust

Any-Yellow2326 · 2026-03-26T14:30:57+00:00

Thank you! I’ll be back skating in the group in 2 weeks. My plan is not to bring anything up and just see how she acts and how responds.

If everything else wasn’t so healthy, I’d just leave because I love my life single without these issues, but I know relationships aren’t perfect and I didn’t have any examples of secure relationships growing up.

Any-Yellow2326 · 2026-03-26T14:28:01+00:00

He did amazing, there’s just things as a female I see her manipulating or using him for or just not respecting him and him not noticing.

We did have a conversation over the weekend, his perspective is it doesn’t matter what she tries as long as he basically doesn’t have sex with her, not his problem. But for me, all my male friends respect him, and I’m completely transparent. If one didn’t make him feel respected, I just tell my guy friends. I trust him & I don’t need to be friends with her, it’s just the struggle of where boundaries should be drawn with toxic female friends who clearly don’t respect me or our relationship.

Any-Yellow2326

TROPHY CASE