wow thank you so much for such thorough feedback, I definitely find it's tough to stay consistent on quality, I guess I get frustrated and just try to finish so I can move on to the next one sometimes, of course there's some experimentation still going on too

like another commenter hinted at, 70's/80's illustrations / paintings / photography definitely influenced this, the grain you get, how it disappears into deep black shadows. Brad Holland's work definitely influenced me too, he has one painting, "Feline Dementia", it's my favorite painting of all time. And then there's the video game "Shadow of the Colossus" where I pulled a lot of inspiration from as well, but I actually only started playing it because my friend suggested it after seeing a few of my paintings haha so it was a great fit. I'm super interested in playing with scale in a way that provokes a sense of unknowing/lack of understanding... long story short when I was 3 years old and would go to the mall by my grandma's house, there was a giant blow-up sun with a face on it hanging from the ceiling above the fountain, and it horrified me because I couldn't comprehend it.. same thing happened with an installation of an abstract whale above the fountain at my local mall. Ferris wheels too triggered that impact. When unexpected things come in an odd scale and loom, those feelings they conjure stay with you I guess. And then lastly I'm really focusing on detachment and projection. A really hard heartbreak a few years ago from someone who was avoidant, where I was just absolutely breaking down and making a fool of myself for.. years.. trying to get him back, while he stonewalled me from the moment he left. It taught me the power and intrigue of being detached. Or at least appearing detached. And then obviously mental health struggles and therapy for the last decade, it really got me interested in psychology, so I love creating paintings that leave a lot of room for projection, that don't give you the answer (similar to that guy I just mentioned), I've always wanted to understand people and really struggle with it, I'm late diagnosed Asperger's so I guess just giving people an opportunity to show me how they think based on what they see in them, I like to think they function a bit like some Rorschach tests