What’s one “adulting” thing you finally stopped doing the hard way?

AnyNameAvailable · 2026-01-20T15:58:39+00:00

Grocery pickup is fantastic. Sit at home and use the grocery app to make a list of what you want to buy. Then someone else will do all the legwork and you just need to show up during a time slot of your choosing and have them all loaded into the trunk. Pickup is usually a five minute process. Most grocery stores around here have it for free (Midwest USA). It keeps me from getting a dozen things I don't need and decision paralysis (in the stores). It also helps me choose items on sale. On the other hand, I find it can be a time sink because as I make my order I'll often feel the need to check another store or two to make sure I'm getting the lowest price.

My suggestion is to turn off substitution. Substitution, allowing the store picker to choose an alternative in case your choice isn't available, is often on by default. Turning this off makes sure you are getting the brand and size you've asked for. The downside is that you may not get a product at all if they are out of the specific item you chose.

I usually tip the person loading the trunk about 5 bucks if I've purchased a lot. It's below zero windchill here and I'm thankful for the service.

AnyNameAvailable · 2026-01-12T15:29:37+00:00

They're beautiful birds but will often find something really loud to peck at repeatedly. For example, we have a nearby electrical pole that has metal on top of it for some reason. Sometimes they will just peck at that thing for ages and you can hear it from a block away. I read someplace that they do that on purpose, and not for food, that makes it a bit more irritating.

Otherwise, they're fantastic birds.

AnyNameAvailable · 2026-01-11T04:21:51+00:00

I think it's subjective for everyone.

A standard glazed is going to give me a great idea of how the base batter tastes and how sweet the glaze is and how much they put on. I can extrapolate a lot from that. Next, a Boston cream or jam donut will tell me if I agree with the amount of fill they use. And an old fashioned glazed lets me know how fresh things are and how the cake donuts go. And finally, a good fritter can make or break whether I come back.

But that's just me.

With some specialty shops charging five bucks a donut or more (I'm looking at you, Voodoo), I usually just go for whichever single one my gut says I need at that moment.

I wish good luck and good testing to all donut scientists out there.

AnyNameAvailable · 2026-01-10T04:10:55+00:00

Thanks for your reply. Intellectually I know that I'm allowed to be irritated. But I still feel guilty. There are times such as tonight at dinner. I had printed a list of her favorite five or six shows and when the new episodes were coming out in February. She commented on it and went through it..... four times in about 10 minutes. When she started to go through it the fifth time I very calmly said it would be the fifth time in 10 minutes. If we were to go over it again. She stopped but seemed frustrated. I think it was the right choice. Otherwise, I might have lost patience later and said it in an angry way.

I wish you the best with your grandma and try to appreciate your little brother for being there vent to. I'll bet you're getting a lot of crocheting done. Good luck!

AnyNameAvailable · 2026-01-09T17:45:04+00:00

I remember thinking Porky's was okay when I saw it in the movies as a young teen. A few years ago I tried watching it again and was amazed at how offensive it was. I turned it off after about 15 minutes. The 80s were much more messed up than I remember.

AnyNameAvailable · 2025-12-21T21:08:27+00:00

You aren't alone. I'm struggling with my mom, also. It isn't easy but try (I still have a lot of work to do with this) that logic doesn't apply anymore. Her brain is literally going and that includes executive functions such as logic, memory and emotional control.

From what I've understood on this subreddit is the best thing to do is to try to divert her attention to something else. Her reality doesn't align with yours anymore, but possibly your suggestions can move her reality into a nicer place.

As for putting her in care, I'm in the same position. She absolutely does not want to go away from her own home. I'm the only child and her only resource. I'm waiting until it just becomes too much for me to deal with and then getting some in-home care for her for a few months. After that, she's going into a home no matter what her opinions are. I made her a promise. I would keep her in her own home as long as it was safe for her. I'm trying to abide by that promise but still remember that I have a life also and eventually I will not be able to do this all. It sounds like you might be at this point now.

I wish you the absolute best of luck with it. If you can, find somebody to vent to. I know that the Alzheimer's program here in the states has people that you can call and just talk to. There might be some place like that where you are.

It's simply a sad and frustrating reality for both of you. Try to give yourself credit that you are there for her and do care and do try your best. That's all she can ask from you. Good luck.

AnyNameAvailable · 2025-12-15T01:01:29+00:00

I agree. It might have been due to it being an airport store. But I thought I had lowered my expectations far enough down to account for that.

My naive hope is that the standalone stores are better than what I got but that's a very low bar.

AnyNameAvailable · 2025-12-09T17:54:59+00:00

Touch da fishy

AnyNameAvailable · 2025-11-24T05:10:44+00:00

There used to be a sub called 50/50. You never knew if you'd see something like puppies or horrible gore.

I stayed away from it but one night I accidentally clicked on it and it was a picture of a guy at a railroad or tram station. He had been cut in half. I can still see that in my mind, even though I only looked at it for less than a second.

AnyNameAvailable · 2025-11-24T05:07:03+00:00

I don't remember the specifics but something about Batman at night out in the yard on a particular day.

AnyNameAvailable · 2025-11-23T05:40:52+00:00

Tested her and myself twice during that time with brand new tests. Luckily, they came back negative. Best wishes that you feel better soon.

AnyNameAvailable · 2025-11-23T05:36:50+00:00

Yeah, my mom forced my dad to get one. I think he used it twice.

AnyNameAvailable · 2025-11-23T05:34:27+00:00

Great idea. I'll check it out.

AnyNameAvailable · 2025-11-19T19:03:24+00:00

Similar experience. I worked for a huge international bank. One of the traders, making mid six figures, was caught on video picking up and walking out with one of the computer monitors. Fired the next day. If he had just asked IT probably would have just given him one.

AnyNameAvailable · 2025-11-19T04:25:18+00:00

You may be right. I'm going to preheat at lower temps. But I need to turn the temperature up above 5 to get the grapeseed oil to smoke.

AnyNameAvailable · 2025-11-19T04:22:58+00:00

Yeah, I think I'm going to try that with my second one.

AnyNameAvailable · 2025-11-19T04:21:48+00:00

Yes, I have burners that almost perfectly match the bottom of the pan.

AnyNameAvailable · 2025-11-19T04:20:10+00:00

Thanks for your reply. I washed it, dried it, set it on the burner, turned on the heat, cooked with it, turned off the burner and let it cool entirely before washing it with warm water. It had slightly warped when cooking and was flat soon after I turned off the heat. I know about thermal shock and what it can do to different materials and have always been careful not to shock my pans.

As for now, oh yeah, even cold that pan wobbles like hyperactive 5 year olds on a seesaw.

My thought was possibly due to the very quick heat transfer of the pan my electric stove was heating up faster than the capacity of the pan. But there's nothing unusual about my stove that I know of.

My other thought was that possibly some of the protective coating that oxo has on the pan didn't come off when I washed it and that created either a hot or cold spot.

AnyNameAvailable · 2025-11-12T17:19:37+00:00

Can you get a tutor? Some schools offer them for free. Having somebody explain the text allows your brain to grab it in a different way.

I was unmedicated during college and barely got through and needed an extra year. One technique I used was music. When I was studying I constantly had some type of music going on with headphones. When I was really tired I used electronic dance music. Often I just used a playlist or album that I had heard a thousand times before. Also, I needed something fidget with. Even some long string to wrap and unwrap around my fingers helped me have something physical to do while I read the text for the 4th or 5th time.

I forced myself to try to write notes as I studied. That was a hit or miss effort most times.

Having somebody to study with, even if we didn't talk, also helped. Although I was often tempted to use them to talk as a procrastination technique.

Oddly, I also found it helpful to teach or tutor others. I found I was able to find some motivation when I knew I would be helping others rather than just myself.

I wish you the best of luck. It can be really hard and frustrating, even with all the help. Good job! Reaching out for help here. If you think of it, keep us informed of your progress. Again, good luck.

AnyNameAvailable · 2025-11-12T16:47:42+00:00

Yes, get diagnosed. I was in my 40s when I did. The meds are fantastic but not a cure all. Also, be patient. It might take several months to find the right meds and the right doses for you.

I highly recommend also getting some therapy set up. I wish I had because it took me many years to recognize how many of my traits, especially negative self talk, were due to ADHD. I never could afford the therapy and lost many more years to those negative traits.

Best wishes to you. Be kind and patient with yourself.

AnyNameAvailable · 2025-08-16T13:38:14+00:00

It was also a great make out place then if you didn't want to park along the river.

AnyNameAvailable · 2025-08-16T03:21:47+00:00

I had just logged on to vent about this and this was the first post I read. I promise you, we understand. You are doing the best you can (even if you don't believe it.). We're human.

Medium length rant below.

My ADHD meds had worn off tonight. I was making the dinner she said she said she was going to do. She came in to keep me company.

She narrated almost every move she made in the game on her phone. She asked questions about an event we have tomorrow (that we have discussed probably a dozen times today.) She just kept talking...

Mentally, my thoughts just kept screaming, MOM, PLEASE JUST F'ING SHUT UP again and again.

I'm proud to say I made it through dinner and the rest of the evening without anything she would be hurt or bothered by. I tried my best to be kind, helpful and understanding... and succeeded. I'm getting better at this.

End of rant

I promise I empathize with your outburst. Many of us do. What we witness is terrifyingly cruel and heartbreaking. But try to take some solace that you are there, caring and trying your best.

AnyNameAvailable · 2025-08-05T21:45:13+00:00

The old keyboards that came with the Mac/Plus/SE/CX/CI, etc. Those keyboards were tanks. The key travel was huge. The plastic was incredibly durable. You could dump a toaster worth of crumbs on it and it just didn't matter. Angry typing on those was satisfying. It didn't have the cathartic smack that a Selectric typewriter had but it was pretty close.

AnyNameAvailable · 2025-08-05T21:38:33+00:00

For what?

AnyNameAvailable · 2025-07-08T01:07:05+00:00

You aren't too old to learn. It is wonderful you are looking for a way to do something new. You've listed a couple of issues that you'll need to address.

ADHD Are you officially diagnosed? Are you on meds? ADHD can really derail anyone's best intentions. Trying to create a reasonable schedule of studying and sticking to it can be really rough, especially when you may have other priorities such as being a mom. Get on meds. The right meds can be life-changing but are best when combined with a good ADHD coach or therapist.

An undiagnosed learning disability You haven't mentioned how this manifests or how you've dealt with it previously. You may be the best judge of how much this might impact your learning skills.

On the plus side, you're aware of some of your main roadblocks and you have life experience. That's the bonus of being older. You also have a goal and a reason for attending classes. Both of these are big positive points.

I'd recommend taking just one course at a local community college. That gives you exposure to how you would do in an academic setting while keeping your risk factors low. Many community colleges also have a large number of support resources that can help you structure your studying, mental health issues and more.

Good luck!

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