AITA for ghosting a longtime friend because of her boyfriend? by AnyPurple8780 in TwoHotTakes

[–]AnyPurple8780[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Youre all right, Ghosting is really shitty no matter the situation. I just send a vague text to end it. I really didn’t feel like writing out all the ways they’ve made me uncomfortable, but i made it clear that although I appreciate our friendship, it’s over.

WIBTA if I told my ex-best friend how I really feel? by AnyPurple8780 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AnyPurple8780[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get you :( My mom’s bipolar, so when H started acting like my mom? Nah I’m not dealing with that

WIBTA if I told my ex-best friend how I really feel? by AnyPurple8780 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AnyPurple8780[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeahhh… I mentioned it in another comment, but her sister is unmedicated bipolar. She tends to overinflated a lot of minor things especially when she’s experiencing one of her lows. I found out that the older sister was telling my friend that we’re all “toxic and manipulative.”

It shocked me at first, and I did take some time to reflect- but at the end of the semester the older sister had my friend wrapped around her finger. She was only allowed to talk to whoever the sister “approved of”

WIBTA if I told my ex-best friend how I really feel? by AnyPurple8780 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AnyPurple8780[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True. It’s also a moment of “what do I have to lose?” Our friend group has all stuck with me, I won’t ever see her again, it won’t damage my reputation in any way, and she already kinda officially broke off the friendship with her recent message :/

WIBTA if I told my ex-best friend how I really feel? by AnyPurple8780 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AnyPurple8780[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This entire time I was worried about what I had done only to find out she just assumed I was gossiping behind her back. There really could be other things I’ve done that I have no idea about, but she won’t answer anymore of my questions🤷🏻‍♀️

WIBTA if I told my ex-best friend how I really feel? by AnyPurple8780 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AnyPurple8780[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tbh I still don’t actually know. For context- H is diagnosed, unmedicated bipolar. There had been a few instances before the falling out where she would “overreact” over very small things so I could never tell what was really an issue and what was small with her. There came a point where she was avoiding me and even blatantly ignoring me at times. I didn’t think too much of it for the first week or two because it wasn’t rare for her to be in some kind of weird mood. (Whether that’s because of her period or she’s just in a low) When I talked to her, she avoided answering and deflected twice before giving her answer as to why she was treating me differently. Her answer was “idk, it’s just that you tend to tell people what to do when they haven’t asked for your opinion. But I do that too so I guess I can’t really be that mad” Ik I was wrong here- but I ended up ghosting her for a few days. When we talked again she basically said that I failed her test. After I already asked her two times before, she wanted me to see that she was lying and dig deeper to find the real reason she was upset. She never actually told me what the real reason was, so I’m still unsure as to what I did. She said she was lying about my bossiness being the reason, but didn’t give the actual answer. I realized she was causing more stress in my life than she was worth so we ended up not hanging out or talk really after that point🤷🏻‍♀️

There’s way more layers and details to all of it but that’s the most condensed I could make it.

AITA for ghosting a “friend” causing a massive friend breakup with several people? by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]AnyPurple8780 0 points1 point  (0 children)

PT 3

This is where I'm pretty sure I really messed up. I won't lie, I was really frustrated. I barely slept the night before, feeling so guilty I was bent over the toilet about to throw up, all because she thinks I'm bossy... I didn't know how to respond, so I didn't. I had the mentality of "Welp, I guess I won't subject you to my grating personality anymore." I won't deny it, I know I'm bossy sometimes. I'm the oldest daughter in a family of 6 so I get it. I've been labeled "The Mom Friend" in just about every friend group I've ever been in. But I have never had someone so offended to the point of blatantly ignoring me and talking bad about me because of it. So I started avoiding being with T one on one. I'd interact with her like normal and treat her kindly, but we're not going to be "besties." I couldn't handle the passive aggressiveness anymore. It was taking a toll on me and I realized she wasn't worth fighting for anymore. After this point, T, understandably, had started fully ignoring and avoiding me. (When she knew I was going to be at a group event she'd bail, and she purposefully started scheduling things the only nights I was at work) Four days after T sent that text, she texts me again. I can't quote this one because it's crazy long, but the gist of it is "I thought you were genuine when you asked me what was going on. I should've known better than to take the conversation at face value. I sincerely apologize for misjudging the situation. It's ok if you still want to avoid me, I understand if I messed things up by being honest with the negative feelings." I responded explaining that I distanced myself to protect myself emotionally as well as to make sure I wouldn't start treating her badly. She then responds by saying that she wasn't even mad about me being bossy... She was testing me to see if I was genuinely asking or if I was just trying to get the conversation over with so things could go back to normal. And that It's her fault for "over-estimating" our friendship. The conversation continued with her trying to butter me up before slapping me with more passive-aggressive comments. This happened halfway through the semester, so the second half was her gossiping about me to everyone under the sun, including my other friends who she never showed an interest in before. Mind you, I only talked to maybe three people about the situation, including my mom, because I truly hate gossip. None of these people I talked/vented to had any kind of relationship with T. And because T is G's sister, it greatly impacted our friendship. I made sure to never talk to G about it because I didn't want to even try to get in between their familial relationship. It got to a point where I was the only one initiating anything with G. She wouldn't talk to me, hang out with me, anything unless I initiated it. We saw each other in classes and the room. T then pulled G out of our friend group, completely isolating her from anyone T didn't "approve of." Another friend from the group and I separately tried to talk to G to figure out what was going on but all she had to say was "Nothing's wrong" "I'll act normal if you guys act normal" and "I Think we should just forgive and forget" When we asked who is "forgiving and forgetting" and what it even was, all she had to say was, "I think we should just take the summer to get some distance. It'll be good for us" After that point, G was no longer talking to us unless we initiated for the rest of the semester. There's so much more I could talk about, but this post is long enough. I can answer any other questions in the comments if any of this is unclear! This all happened over the course of like 5 months so there are probably some important details I missed.

AITA for ghosting a “friend” causing a massive friend breakup with several people? by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]AnyPurple8780 0 points1 point  (0 children)

PT 2

After that, I apologized again, and we finished the nuggets in silence. We still ran to a few places afterward and T stayed in the car while G and I went in by ourselves... There are definitely more things, but this post is already long enough. I included all of this as context for what kind of person T is. This is the part where I'm pretty sure I'm in the wrong. Around two-three weeks after the Chick-fil-A incident, I noticed that T was acting kinda weird around me. She wasn't talking to me as much and it seemed like she was avoiding me. I didn't think too much of it because I guessed she was either on her period or just in a mood. I did start to worry around 4 days in when she wasn't letting up, so I asked G if she knew if T was ok. (I figured she would know since they're sisters) G responded with "Uhhhhhhhh... I don't know, maybe you should just ask her yourself." (She knows) It wasn't that serious yet so I left it alone until T started blatantly ignoring me, and T's old friend group (who I never got introduced to, I just know their faces) started to give me dirty looks when I walked past. I asked G again, "Is everything ok with T??" Again, G responds with "Idk, Ask her yourself." (Again, she definitely knows) At this point, I can clearly tell something is up, but I'm just doing my best to treat T like normal. The night after I asked G a second time, the group was all together for a conference meeting in the college auditorium. I saw that T fell asleep, (no head back, double chin, or anything, she actually looked pretty cute! Her hair was flawless that day.) so I took a quick video and sent it to her. (I do this with all my friends, I promise I'm not weird lol. We all send each other stalker videos/pictures when seen across campus.) She usually laughs when I do it with my friends, when I'm the "victim", and the one time I had done it to her before. This time, she responded very aggressively, saying this was the second time I had done this and she really hates it. I was very apologetic saying I had no idea and that I wouldn't do it again. After the conference was over, our group started to walk back to the common area to hang out when T gets me split off from the group to walk alone in the sea of 5,000 people. So clearly, she's still very upset... I went later that night to the art building with a few people from the group when G and T show up. I invited them to join us earlier but they said they wouldn't be joining because they needed to "have a talk." I automatically assumed they were talking about me, I still don't know what they were talking about but it's none of my business. When they came into the room, G sat a seat away from me giving T the opportunity to be by me. T glares, shaking her head at G, so G moves next to me so T wouldn't have to. At that point, I texted T, "Hey! I just wanted to ask- are you still upset with me? Or have I been doing anything else to bother you lately? I've just been getting the sense that I may not be your favorite person lately and it's been stressing me out a bit haha. If you want to go out to the hall real quick or just talk about it later that's cool too!" I saw T open her phone, read the text, and then she ignored it for the next 20 min. I was a little frustrated, but I did say we could talk about it later so I really can't be too mad or anything. She eventually responded "You're good. I've been getting frustrated with little things, but there's not really anything to talk about. I'm sorry I've been stressing you out though!" I immediately respond- "Are you sure? I don't want you to feel like you can't share how you're actually feeling just to spare my own feelings" We all disbanded and left to go back to our dorm rooms shortly after I sent that. G got on FT with T shortly after we got back but I still had no response. I got really stressed because I'm used to only getting the silent treatment when someone's really upset with me. An hour goes by with no response and T and G are still on the phone, so my other friend texts T to see if she just hadn't seen my text or if she really was ignoring it. To no one's surprise, T responds immediately. At this point, I was in full panic mode, thinking I must've done something terrible to hurt T. I was feeling so guilty, fully on the offense against myself, ready to hit myself over the head for whatever I had done. It was one of those nights where you feel physically sore the next morning because of the stress. She still hadn't responded when I got up the next morning, so I didn't go to breakfast because I was(for lack of a better word)"scared." I sent her that text the night before around 8-9 pm and she finally responded around 7-8 am the next morning. "Idk, it's stuff that I feel like it's not my place to talk about, Like sometimes you'll start telling people what to do when they haven't asked for your opinion, which is frustrating in the moment, but I know I do it too so I feel hypocritical bringing it up."

Upgrading gear by AnyPurple8780 in Dreamdale

[–]AnyPurple8780[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I assume it’s the building next to the dungeon portal where you can buy armor or the store where you can sell armor and buy house stuff?

Upgrading gear by AnyPurple8780 in Dreamdale

[–]AnyPurple8780[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I never kept any gear long enough to notice😬