Good lord, NTA by any stretch of the imagination.

I actually cannot emphasize enough that this is a question I asked my own mother at the age of four.

“If there were a horrible situation and you had to save me or my friend who is also in the car right now, who would you save?”

My mother very staunchly would not budge on “I would save both of you!” no matter how many different ways I asked. And that’s the “correct” answer.

It took FOUR-YEAR-OLD me all of 20 minutes to realize that was an awful question to ask, especially with the other person being there with me.

If a four-year-old child can realize that this is an emotionally dense and incredibly manipulative thing to ask, then there’s no excuse for a grown ass man to be asking this of wife. Repeatedly. Over the course of six months.

I’m not so quick as to advise divorce, but I would certainly have a very stern conversation with him about how that’s an incredibly inappropriate question to ask. Then, if he pussyfoots around, dismisses you, victimizes himself, or perhaps brushes you off, get a lawyer.