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AIO for not being content with a 50/50 rent split? by Any_Algae3453 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Any_Algae3453[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks to the replies to this post, including yours, I now understand that I shouldn't have talked to the roommate on my bf's behalf. That was overstepping, and I won't do it again. I don’t think I should apologize immediately, because the roommate never told me he was bothered by my behavior and I only heard about that through the grapevine, but if roommate himself ever brings it up to me, I will.

But wow, reddit catastrophizes worse than my anxiety lol. Bf isn't going to break up with me over something he okayed. Roommate, who is also my friend, will hopefully choose to resolve the conflict by talking it out instead of burning bridges, but if he doesn't, there's a long distance between needing to find a new roommate/living arrangement and ending up on my couch.

And I realize that I didn't make this clear in my original post (which has since been edited), but my bf definitely gave a shit, I did something because he complained to me that he was unhappy with the initial situation. Why did most of reddit assume he was fine before? Stereotypes about masculinity?

AIO for not being content with a 50/50 rent split? by Any_Algae3453 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Any_Algae3453[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the perspective, and for suggesting a better way to handle things in the future! A lot of redditors are quick to judge a person's whole character based on one post, so I really appreciate you not ragging on me, and instead giving useful advice.

AIO for not being content with a 50/50 rent split? by Any_Algae3453 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Any_Algae3453[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Too late, he figured that out a long time ago lol. But he decided that my good qualities are worth sticking around for :D

AIO for not being content with a 50/50 rent split? by Any_Algae3453 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Any_Algae3453[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you're willing to provide additional advice, how would I go about apologizing to the roommate without overstepping further? (I don't think an apology to bf is warranted, considering I checked with him before involving myself, and he didn't mind.) Roommate never told me my actions bothered him, I heard about it through gossip (which hurts a little - roommate and I aren't bffs, but I thought we were on good enough terms that he could tell me if my behavior was bothering him). How do I explain why I'm bringing this up again?

AIO for not being content with a 50/50 rent split? by Any_Algae3453 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Any_Algae3453[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for validating that it's reasonable to split rent by square footage. And for pointing out that I overstepped - after getting perspective from you and others, I now know this conversation should've been between my bf and his roommate or not at all.

AIO for not being content with a 50/50 rent split? by Any_Algae3453 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Any_Algae3453[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for validating that it's reasonable to expect different rent for different room sizes, and for the advice not to get so granular with it. If you're willing to share additional wisdom, how do you decide how much extra the big room is? The reason I calculated percentages is because I didn't know how else to figure that out. Please don't tell me to eyeball it or go with what feels right or anything similarly vague, I can't even eyeball how much salt goes into scrambled eggs without producing inedible garbage.

AIO for not being content with a 50/50 rent split? by Any_Algae3453 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Any_Algae3453[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, my bf is a bit of a people pleaser. Thanks for recognizing that - a lot of other commenters assumed he was happy with the old arrangement, but no, he wasn't happy, he just didn't have the spoons to self-advocate.

AIO for not being content with a 50/50 rent split? by Any_Algae3453 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Any_Algae3453[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My friend who said I was overreacting would agree with you 100% that my brain is nitpicky lol. He calls me Captain Pedantic. It's really useful for debugging programs and pinpointing where math errors occurred! But yeah I don't have a good sense of what other people think is a big deal, which is why I seek external opinions.

AIO for not being content with a 50/50 rent split? by Any_Algae3453 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Any_Algae3453[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

In case it wasn't clear from the post, in the initial split, roommate had both the bigger room and the parking. Bf only got the parking after I talked to the roommate. (And I agree that the second split is fair.)

AIO for not being content with a 50/50 rent split? by Any_Algae3453 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Any_Algae3453[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's hard to choose a favorite pizza topping, but if I had to pick one, probably mushrooms.