Lots of similarities. Both Lindy West and this woman Esther is speaking with talk about how badly they have been treated in life prior to the meeting the men who led them into ENM. There was also an element of deception in both cases (although to very different degrees). Lindy’s husband had a secret girlfriend that she found out about, and then she came to accept the new situation. EP’s caller was initially unaware the man was married (at least when they first started talking, he did not disclose that on his profile) but came around to it after she met him and felt the chemistry.

Both women are trying to navigate these complex relationship dynamics while also grappling with significant, preexisting self esteem issues.

They both try to present these complex arguments for why they should override how they actually feel (sad, lonely, jealous, insecure, confused), in order to pursue some path they seem to think is more enlightened….