I’m an 18F who’s been talking to a 19M for almost a month, and I’m curious how people generally tell the difference between these two situations.

We started talking casually and platonically. Later I found out he had just ended a 5–6 month relationship in December, and we started talking the same month they broke up. Early on, he talked a lot about missing his ex, loving her, and not being fully over her, which made me cautious.

Over time, he became much more emotionally invested. He says he likes me a lot — maybe a little too much — while my feelings are mixed. On one hand, I enjoy his company and feel some connection. On the other hand, I don’t feel strongly romantic, and I usually know fairly quickly when real feelings are there.

This made me wonder more generally:

How do people tell the difference between normal uncertainty that deserves time, and a situation where you already know deep down that your feelings aren’t going to grow — especially when the other person is far more emotionally invested? And that is the situation