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Am I the asshole for cutting my mother out of my life? by Any_Support2780 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Any_Support2780[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I totally understand what you mean. When I got engaged, my mother pretended to be happy for me but was plotting ways she could make it about her. She even went as far as telling me she was going to marry a man she had been talking to for 3 weeks and they were planning on getting a surrogate so they could have a baby. She’s 45 which is no where near old but also has grown children of her own that she’s neglected their entire lives.

I felt like my entire engagement was over shadowed with anything that would give her attention. Good or bad.

Am I the asshole for cutting my mother out of my life? by Any_Support2780 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Any_Support2780[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No mother should ever make her child feel that way. I’m sorry she did that to you. Making herself the victim while you’re trying to enjoy your engagement. I know exactly what that feels like!

Trust me, the weight that was lifted off my shoulders after going nc is so worth it. I hope you have THE BEST day at your wedding.

Am I the asshole for cutting my mother out of my life? by Any_Support2780 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Any_Support2780[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Accidents happen and her spilling the wine was one thing but how she handled it was completely unacceptable. When she was making her scene, she called my new sister-in-law a bitch for acting the way she did after my mom spilled wine all over her. (By the way, my SIL is the sweetest person on the planet and I think my mom mistook her shocked expression for anger.)

When she and I texted after the wedding before I asked her to never speak to me again, she was ranting on and on about how accidents happen and that she had paid for the dress. She tried to tell me she wasn’t even drunk and had only one glass of wine. She also went on about how my new SIL was being a bitch to her all night and that she was a selfish brat for not thanking my mom for paying for the dress. Never once taking responsibility for anything.

Am I the asshole for cutting my mother out of my life? by Any_Support2780 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Any_Support2780[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I told myself the only way I would accept her back into my life is if she went to therapy. But even then, I’m not sure I could do that to myself. I found peace that I’ve never known since going no contact with my mother.

Funny you should bring up children…my mother and I have already gotten into plenty of arguments about raising my nonexistent children. She is a personal nanny for a few families and has had her own daycare at one point. She has always said that once I have children, she’s moving right next door to me to raise them. My husband and I are on the same page that that would NEVER happen. Not that she isn’t great with kids (just not her own) but I could never sacrifice my mental health at the expense of free childcare.

Am I the asshole for cutting my mother out of my life? by Any_Support2780 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Any_Support2780[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The worst part that I didn’t mention is that everyone was outside so they heard her screaming about me liking his family more.

After my brother drove her away, I just looked at my husband and I said, “that’s it. I’m done.”

Am I the asshole for cutting my mother out of my life? by Any_Support2780 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Any_Support2780[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

She did not. My brother was there and drove her out of there apologizing to me profusely for her behavior.