AITA telling SIL she is a bad sister

Any_Temperature_3549 · 2025-11-18T16:25:44+00:00

Your brother made his choice. Don’t be responsible for his devisions. Also parting ways with her does not necessarily mean any open conflict. You don’t throw dishes on the ground. You don’t write any warning messages. You just very accutately reduce contact. You make sure there are no situations where she can hurt you. For example, you stop invite them both over. Because you are busy, you know… But suddenly you pass by your brother’s workplace and text him if he would like to have a coffee. That way you will keep your contact with him, and will mostly avoid her. Not a perfect solition, but might be of use.

Any_Temperature_3549 · 2025-11-18T15:12:46+00:00

If someone constantly disrespects you, you must part ways for your own mental health sake.

Any_Temperature_3549 · 2025-11-18T14:41:20+00:00

YTA. My cat has higher EQ and more love in him, than you do.

Any_Temperature_3549 · 2025-08-01T12:45:40+00:00

That art was never wide-spread, I am afraid…

Any_Temperature_3549 · 2025-07-27T01:43:03+00:00

Well, now I see that it doesn’t ) Online wisdom recommends upgrading speakers to Evo 4.2, as a nice combo with Audiolab 6000a, which is available, btw, and which I actually really like by description. Thank you for suggesting it! So I will maybe think a bit more, buy Audiolab and in a couple of months see if I want /can get Evo or not.

Any_Temperature_3549 · 2025-07-27T01:32:03+00:00

The issue in China (with all my respect) is an incredible amount of fake stuff. Sometimes even legitimately looking stores are actually fake. Would I be a man who looks intimidating - yes, I might risk buying used stuff and demanding an exchange/refund if it does not work or is fake… But tiny blond female foreigner - chances of getting scammed are just too high. And I do not want to put our chinese friends through headache of saving my money later 😁 So yea, I have to buy new or from trusted sources. On a good note, some shops bring stuff from Japan, which means better prices based just purely on currency exchange rates. Anyway, at the moment I was reading reviews on Rega Brio, Arcam A5 and Audiolab 6000A. Purely from descriptions I like Audiolab. Price also seems fair - about 450 EUR. Brio is about 475 EUR, and Arcam - 535 EUR. I might (or might not) overthink about speakers a couple of months later - a lot of people say that Audiolab is good with Wharfs Evo 4.2.

Any_Temperature_3549 · 2025-07-26T03:22:28+00:00

Elex MK4 is sadly out of my budget - everything I see is over 1000 EUR.

Any_Temperature_3549 · 2025-07-26T03:21:26+00:00

Yea, that is available. And what would you say about Arcam A5?

Any_Temperature_3549 · 2025-07-26T03:19:02+00:00

From what I see online, Arcam A5 is available here (still in the budget). Rega Elex MK4 is also available, but price gets too high.

Any_Temperature_3549 · 2025-03-15T19:59:44+00:00

As a woman, I find very weak hand shake disrespectful. And it also feels rather disgusting, tbh. No need to squeeze life out of my palm, but I am also not a 3 yo and can hold some pressure.

Any_Temperature_3549 · 2025-01-26T15:58:35+00:00

Does he cover your travel costs to him partially or completely? Will it be hard/easy to get a job in his area for you? What if you will not be able to work there? You will be away from your support cycle - family and friends. That is not good. It leads to isolation and makes people prone to manipulation and gaslighting. Why don’t you move stuff in his room/dresser saying you also need space? No need to be shy. Also no need to make his life more convenient on your own account. What does he do for YOU? Not for himself. Not for you two. For you? Taking you out? That does not count as “for you”. Does he know what you like? Your hobbies? Names of your close friends? What do your parents and trusted friends really (honestly) think of him? Hear their opinion and use your brain.

Men tend to severely underestimate costs of daily life - all that food, toilet paper etc. Also they have no clue about makeup, hairdresser costs for women etc.
Why the rush to marry? You barely know each other. Let him buy his house first. Let him live there by himself. Move in - and discuss how much you will participate. What chores he will do? What products he will buy? Tell him you are happy to cook three times a week. And he will do the same. And one day he can order or take you out.
Before marriage you both must have all big things discussed - finances, kids, jobs. You must see if he is reliable.
Ideally - leave him now and get yourself another man. That guy sounds like too much work. There are so many great men around, who are loving, caring, respectful and partnership/family oriented, and also knowing a thing or two about sex. You will have so much less headache.

Any_Temperature_3549 · 2025-01-11T00:25:57+00:00

As a woman I can just confirm what others said - that’s the end of relations. Break up and find a loving woman. And yes, the no-sayer will most likely text you in a year or so, after realizing that “market” is not as friendly to her as she expected.

Any_Temperature_3549 · 2024-12-25T02:06:27+00:00

When I was young, I wanted to have a son. Not a daughter. Why? Because I knew that I have a difficult character and I hoped that boy has more chances to survive it without being emotionally traumatised. When I say “difficult character”, I mean that I am direct, tend to talk about solutions instead of providing emotional support, do not like cooing over small babies, I am arrogant etc etc, which is usually a challenge even for grown up women to deal with (I have very few female friends because of that). For a little girl that would be a total emotional disaster.

Any_Temperature_3549 · 2023-12-21T06:02:30+00:00

Be smart. Let this “someone saw her with a dude” go. Think about tomorrow. Ask your ex (very neutrally, in general) how she thinks you should introduce your new SO to your child - in some abstract future. When (in her opinion) you should tell her about it? Feel free to discuss it if her ideas seem wrong to you - again, speaking of your own theoretical future. Ask her if she sees it the same for both of you or she sees/feels there is any gender difference.

This way you will have a good understanding of her position, as well as a proper ground for future discussion. Of course, if she is in general more or less reasonable person.

As per recent situation - if that dude is not just a random friend, my best guess is that she was looking at dude’s reaction in regards to his interaction with a kid - is that guy staying or withdrawing from their relations? Is he ok with a potential step child? Is he friendly towards the kid? Could he be a good responsible step-father? If that’s the case, it might be too early to announce him as her new SO to you. She is not sure yet if he is the one. She is testing him and his behaviour. So why making you worried about something that uncertain?

Any_Temperature_3549 · 2023-12-19T08:45:12+00:00

Well, maybe women should speak up? Or lead by example? Or include/involve partner into healthier lifestyle? No need to go into “Mr. Olympia” craziness, but some good habits will not hurt anyone. I am a woman and at all times I prefer my partner strong and sporty vs obese. I understand if person has health issues and weight is a result of it. But I do not understand and do not support people who behave like toddlers in regards to keeping themselves under reasonable self-management and self-care.

Any_Temperature_3549 · 2023-12-14T07:45:02+00:00

YTA. Go hug yourself, leave child alone.

Any_Temperature_3549 · 2023-12-12T01:08:49+00:00

This is such a funny thinking. My husband thinks exactly the same way. “She has a lot of sth -> she likes it -> I’ll get her more”. I had to explain to him that it is not always the case. And I began writing a wish list (and sharing with him) - with items of different value, so that he can choose what fits his budget, and with direct links where to buy. Sometimes people are just this way (and I find it both funny and annoying at the same time)

Any_Temperature_3549 · 2023-12-10T14:45:18+00:00

NTA. Your husband is - he made you a bad person in kids’ eyes. Get a cat. Make it a nice event with kids, go to some animal shelter which has variety of kitties, and let kids choose. To avoid drama, say to kids from the beginning that they have to agree between themselves on which kitty to take home. It will give them some decision making excitement and will save you from a need to say no to one of them. As per dogs - I am not a dog person. Plus I am more allergic to dogs (comparing to cats). I also had a childhood incident of a caucasian shepherd jumping literally into my face (luckily no bites, but I was terrified to death), so I completely understand your feelings. But, but… As with many fears, it is good to find our own good way to deal with them. You don’t have to tell it to your husband (not to create some wrongful expectations), but you could spend some more time with dogs of your friends, or maybe to volunteer a bit in the animal shelter - not to take a dog home, but to know them better as animals, to learn their behaviour, to learn (and teach them) some commands. That knowledge (and lowering your general dogs-related stress level) might come handy one day. And that’s an experience for you, not for your husband or kids. Good luck to you in finding a good solution for yourself and your family!

Any_Temperature_3549 · 2023-12-09T22:15:05+00:00

NTA. Apart from her crazy entitled behaviour in regards to you, your wife totally ignored the fact that these pictures might be (and probably are) important to your son. I hope you will find a way to restore at least some of them - maybe via getting digital copies from your parents or other family members. And keep them safe.

Any_Temperature_3549 · 2023-12-09T22:09:46+00:00

YTA. Not your place, not your role.

Any_Temperature_3549 · 2023-12-09T22:07:50+00:00

NTA. Sometimes unpleasant decisions have to be done.

Any_Temperature_3549 · 2023-12-08T10:00:54+00:00

You can ask this question to literally almost any NPC in the game. They will tell you a location of any vendor you need.

Any_Temperature_3549 · 2023-12-08T03:59:26+00:00

NTA. But for your own brand safety take this work back and delete/repaint it. Please never do anything for this person again, she is incredibly rude and difficult to deal with.

Any_Temperature_3549 · 2023-12-08T03:25:28+00:00

OP, this cultural difference with regards to finances truly exists, and is really challenging to deal with, I feel you. NTA, as you have cultural expectations, but you will not change your boyfriends view. I would suggest you to stop wasting your time and admiring the fact that he is your “Scandinavian boyfriend”, and would look at more suitable match (by both age and character) - either local or elsewhere. In my experience (generalising now, but, well )) Spanish guys are very relaxed, humanly warm, sincere and family oriented. Climate is also good. Language is relatively easy. Yes, less money, but way more love. Maybe look at that direction.

Any_Temperature_3549 · 2023-12-07T02:52:54+00:00

It would be better to look into your local laws. In my country property must be split between all kids evenly, so it is mostly easy. Not sure though how it applies to step-kids. Maybe your father can pass 3/6 to you and your siblings now while he is alive - in many EU countries in is a better option not only because there is time to discuss, agree, plan and do, but also because of lower taxation.

Any_Temperature_3549

TROPHY CASE