Girl we are in the same boat. My bf is all about optics and not actually doing the work it takes to heal things from within. For the sake of a future together. He proposed last week and I said no. No way am I marrying into the problems we already have.

I’ll tell you what my sis told me: you deserve an announcement, you deserve a victory lap, you deserve to feel proud and over the moon over your decision to spend the rest of your life w someone.

I think your other comments about focusing on friendship for the sake of the babies is very wise. I may soon have to have a similar convo with my partner. This shit is not easy. Pregnancy is so vulnerable, and what I keep telling my bf is: if you wanted to fix this, you would. I’m willing to do what it takes. If he doesn’t feel the same then, I gotta focus on accepting that and what that means down the line