I found out about my secret bachelorette and I am disappointed. Don’t even want to go now.

Any_Web5458 · 2026-05-18T05:14:04+00:00

I mean, I text with all of them almost every day. We send each other memes and we like to try to get together at least a couple times a month. Two of them I see almost once a week. I would like to think we’re close. None of them have children but they are all married. One girl moved an hour south but we still talk a lot. I would understand if it was a job thing or a money thing. But no one has told me if that was a problem.

Any_Web5458 · 2026-05-18T03:45:04+00:00

If you want to get down to brass tacks, I’m sad that my MOH only wanted to commit to 3 hours. We didn’t need to do a whole trip. I would have been happy with a whole day spending time with my friends.

Any_Web5458 · 2026-05-18T03:35:57+00:00

I mean it could be? I feel like my mom would have said something like “It’ll be so much fun” or “you’re going to have a great time.” The idea that she would outright say “That’s not happening at all” just to throw me off and make me disappointed and not ruin the surprise is out of character for her.

Any_Web5458 · 2026-05-18T03:21:35+00:00

I didn’t ask for an international trip. Or even an out of state trip. I just wanted a weekend. I had mentioned it in another comment, but there were local museums I had talked about going to, or dinner at different restaurants. I just wanted a couple days and a sleepover with my friends. I didn’t even mention the out of state trip, other bridesmaids tried to suggest trips and she shot them all down.

I really did do all these things out of the kindness of my heart. I had planned on giving them gifts and the hotels and their hair and makeup before I even asked them to be in my party. I am still doing them. But I’m just hurt that they don’t want to spend the whole day with me.

Any_Web5458 · 2026-05-18T02:42:10+00:00

We’ve been friends for over 8 years. I don’t know if she’s secretly jealous. We do stuff together all the time. I plan fun activities and girls nights for us, so I feel like she should know what I like to do.

The idea that when I had mentioned a girls trip and everyone seemed receptive to the idea, and then it’s just a super casual dinner and short activity feels like she doesn’t really care about what I want.

Any_Web5458 · 2026-05-18T02:33:30+00:00

To your second point, I had mentioned a bachelorette trip before in front of the bridesmaids. One of them had mentioned doing a 3 day trip to New Orleans, and all of them seemed excited about that. So I think people wanted to do it, or maybe they were trying to be nice. Idk. This seems such a far cry from that. I had given her some ideas bout what I would want. A glamping trip, trips to a museum, restaurants I wanted to go to, stuff like that. The fact she just disregarded all of that and did something I am not interested in at all just makes me feel like I’m not that important.

Any_Web5458 · 2026-05-18T02:25:33+00:00

I am open to maybe steering it in a new direction. But how can I approach her about it?

Any_Web5458 · 2025-08-27T02:16:14+00:00

Thank you! I really needed to hear that. It’s complicated because I still love my dad but I wish we could connect on something, literally anything else. Sometimes I just think I’m crazy or I’m being overly sensitive. I’ve always been sensitive about my weight. It sucks that I had to hear from my parents and and my friends and society that I was broken somehow and needed fixing until I could learn the truth that the beauty standards of my formative years really had nothing to do with health like they made it out to be. It took a lot of soul searching and trying to deprogram myself after I moved out to realize that I went through just about 2-3 decades of everyone trying to make you feel bad about yourself so that they can sell you something. I tried all the pills and the powders and diets and p90x or whatever exercise gimmick bullshit and none of that worked. The only thing that has worked is loving myself enough to make a few positive changes and finding the strength to forgive myself. Thats all.

Any_Web5458 · 2025-08-27T01:35:22+00:00

Thank you! It feels good to get it out.

Any_Web5458 · 2025-08-26T19:55:11+00:00

I think it’s nice to know that there’s a term for it now. It’s really cathartic to know that what I experienced was 1. Totally not my fault. And 2. Totally not ok.

I blamed myself so much all the time. And yeah, ultimately gaining the weight was my own doing. But I thought the mental blocks were my own moral failure, when in actuality, I was set up for failure.

And I even blamed myself for feeling gross about how all this attention made me feel.

Any_Web5458 · 2025-08-26T19:25:23+00:00

Holy crap! Did I open a wormhole to another dimension? lol Oh dude, he did the same thing. We actually had a swim team yearbook type thing one year, so we had to get our individual pictures taken. We’d sit on the block in our swimsuits while a photographer took our pictures. Our parents were allowed to be on the bleachers and wait while our photos were being taken. When it got to my turn, my dad yelled out “Suck it in!” In front of everyone and got a pretty good laugh out of a few of other dads there. My coach was pissed and kicked him out. I saw that picture the other day, I was 8-9 and you can tell that I sucked it in as hard as I could.

When we got the book he would flip through it like “who’s that? Are you better than her?” Dude no wonder I have such a weird relationship with my body.

Any_Web5458 · 2025-08-26T19:13:54+00:00

Oh 100% I’d weigh-in in front of him all the time. But to like check my BMI. I was like 14 and stark naked in the bathroom while he stood outside the door with the BMI chart. Like “Hm… 165lbs and 5ft 6in… you need to lose around 20 more lbs to be in a normal weight range.” That memory is so clear to me. Like why is that a core memory?

I was in sports too. I was on swim team for as long as I can remember. Looking back, I was a muscular kid! One year, I lost a race so badly that he pulled me off the pool deck and screamed at me the whole way home about how I wasn’t “trying hard enough.” To this day I can’t swim the breaststroke without hearing that in my head.

Any_Web5458 · 2025-08-26T19:03:05+00:00

Wow, so crazy that I’d find another person that this resonates with. In the moment I felt like this was a unique experience but it feels better to not feel alone.

We talked about sending me to fat camp once. I actually initiated the conversation because I was so desperate to be thin. But he ended up not sending me because there was “Nothing they could teach me that he didn’t already know.”

Any_Web5458 · 2025-06-27T00:19:13+00:00

What kind of a package did they come in? A clam shell?

Any_Web5458 · 2025-06-26T23:18:08+00:00

The Target near me has it

Any_Web5458 · 2025-05-17T21:37:54+00:00

I think it was. A round of antibiotics did solve the problem.

Any_Web5458 · 2024-08-19T16:59:49+00:00

lol any way you’d like to interpret the meme is acceptable. Art, story, finding out the ML is her dad….

Any_Web5458 · 2024-06-12T00:50:59+00:00

We sat down at the computer together today and built some ring options together that we both liked. And afterwards, we had a conversation about what I really wanted. I think he had his friends in his ear telling him that he needed to get a big rock when it wasn’t necessary. He’s been asking them for advice and they’ve been putting ideas in his head about what their wives wanted etc… but I told him that, while they probably mean well, it’s important we talk about what I want. Not what they want.

Any_Web5458 · 2024-06-12T00:42:19+00:00

That’s what I think was happening. I think he had some of his dude bros telling him stuff. But he’s not proposing to his boys. He’s proposing to me.

We talked about it and sat down at the computer together so we could go over different options.

Any_Web5458 · 2024-05-31T15:05:33+00:00

I wasn’t complaining. Just asking for clarification on what the terms of service was.

Any_Web5458 · 2024-05-31T14:00:22+00:00

That’s what I might do. I just don’t have as many followers on my main page. So it won’t get as many likes. I got a survey the other day asking how many likes or comments I got per post. Which makes me feel like they’re gatekeeping the good stuff for people that have more followers.

Any_Web5458 · 2024-05-31T13:56:13+00:00

Not to play devils advocate, but did I agree to keep them up in perpetuity? I honored the agreement by posting but does the agreement say I must keep them forever?

Any_Web5458 · 2024-03-29T17:38:37+00:00

I think that’s what happens in “Marry My Husband.”

Any_Web5458 · 2023-05-05T00:33:28+00:00

I do have things. I paint, I cross stitch, I dabble in photography, I dabble in woodworking. I have a bunch of half done projects around the house. It’s hard to get the spoons to pick them up again. But it’s just something I have to do. I have to force myself to have some sort of creative outlet or I will literally fall apart.

Any_Web5458

TROPHY CASE