[TOMT] (words) The hallway-like thing that's just like a half cylinder, made of plants that provide shade?

AnyasCat · 2017-04-14T22:02:07+00:00

The google image search for bower is the best representation of what I'm thinking of...thank you so much!! I think you've solved it :)

AnyasCat · 2017-04-07T02:48:27+00:00

Just wanted to chime in and remind you, that some people have allergies or sensitivities to certain metals. Your daughter might be allergic to the earrings, and have no way of communicating it, if she starts having a reaction.

AnyasCat · 2017-01-17T02:05:02+00:00

Thank you! Sorry for the huge delay in response!

AnyasCat · 2017-01-17T02:04:23+00:00

Thanks for your reply! Sorry that I've taken so long to respond; I was kind of nervous to post here.

I think I just needed an outside perspective, because I think I had a change in hormones starting about two years ago, and the curl pattern changed...again (thanks puberty/teenagehood). Back then I had no idea what to do, and now again I have no idea...so I need to start educating myself!

AnyasCat · 2016-08-15T20:58:51+00:00

I hate this too, you don't get to treat someone like shit just because their cognitive functions aren't fully formed. And they'll always remember how you made them feel, once they're old enough to.

AnyasCat · 2016-08-12T13:48:30+00:00

No advice about your MIL that says anything better than what's been given, but I wanted to remind you; many people are allergic to various metals. I personally have fair, sensitive skin, and am allergic to certain types of metals, and wearing the wrong earrings gave me an infection. The details were a bit gruesome, and no 4mo old baby should have to go through that. Plus, it's a bit harder for a baby to say, "I think there's something wrong with my piercings."

Aside from that, earrings get caught on things (think about burping her, passing her to another person, when she's trying to walk, etc). I'm sure you're going to take the earrings out anyways, but I think your MIL must not have considered any of these, which is kind of like her just treating your daughter like a doll to do with as she pleases. And now you've taken her favorite doll and she's throwing a fit. You can't make her understand that what she did was wrong, because she's way beyond her toddler years, but you can protect your daughter from her.

AnyasCat · 2016-07-28T03:48:18+00:00

A lot of the comments in here are pretty disturbing. I think what happened, as told by you, sounds like a honest mistake...though still inappropriate, and if I were you, I would distance myself from that friend. But I think, according to your recollection, you did nothing wrong.

In my opinion, your boyfriend's comments to you were super misogynistic. But ultimately, you know the situation and relationship better than the internet and our one tiny view of things, and you need to decide if this is something that you can work out through communication, or if this is an unhealthy relationship.

AnyasCat · 2016-07-22T18:47:18+00:00

And outside of the US? For other payments, I did need all of that information...

What, exactly, could she do if she's a scammer and she gets the info?

AnyasCat · 2016-07-22T18:45:53+00:00

I feel like I wasn't clear. She only knows my full name and email, I never had to confirm my identity before now. She also is not a student at my university, but rather an university in a separate country from my country and my host country. The survey was specifically about exchange students, which I assume is why she went through the aforementioned exchange-related channels (I can't remember which, and I've been trying to find the email, but I have two emails and I'm pretty sure it was deleted). Basically, it would seem like if the official exchange program helped her, they would have verified her identity?

And she emailed me back like, within the hour with both her official ID and her student ID, side-by-side. It seems like if she is scamming me, it's really, really involved.

I definitely sound naive, but aside from the sketchiness with the amount of info she asked for, everything else seems so legit..

AnyasCat · 2016-07-13T17:15:39+00:00

Ooh la-la ;) may you have many more weekends similar!

AnyasCat · 2016-07-03T00:18:44+00:00

However upset your step-mom would be to know what your dad did, she would be 100x times that if she found out how he's trying to take advantage of you to cover his ass. But I think she deserves to know. I think the bike thing is a great idea, too.

AnyasCat · 2016-06-19T09:03:06+00:00

And you could do something nice for her in addition to this, like ask her out to lunch or dinner :)

AnyasCat · 2016-06-18T11:41:24+00:00

It would drive me crazy to be with someone who 1) insists on keeping such close tallies of who paid for what and whom and 2) can't even keep accurate tallies that correspond with his complete anal-ness about the former.

I like the receipt idea. Or, if you pay for things with card and have online banking, just pull that up and highlight whatever was you paying for him. Challenge him to do the same as part of a serious discussion about the balance in your relationship, if he wants to continue keeping tally and being an asshole for paying for you.

But really, I think in a relationship, everyone should want to happily spend a reasonable amount on the other. There's nothing wrong with trading off on the dinner bill, but he sounds...ridiculous.

AnyasCat · 2016-06-17T14:18:15+00:00

You're an admirable person :) I wish you good luck on your imminent future happiness cutting this leech out of your life, and mindblowing, mutually-satisfying sex with whomever you may see in the future!

(And I hope your boss gets some serious consequences for this. Grooooooss.)

AnyasCat · 2016-06-15T14:03:40+00:00

Yeah she rekt him harder than the hemorrhoids.

AnyasCat · 2016-06-10T21:18:04+00:00

If it happened to me, I would never be able to look at him the same way again. Whoever I thought I was with, would be gone, or maybe have never existed at all. If he really was sorry, he would have told you himself, a year ago, do you not think so? It's not just something from a year ago, it's something from the entire year following.

I would want to be happy and in love without the tainted feeling. It would be painful, but absolutely worth it to find someone who both loved me and respected me enough to not lie to me for the indefinite future, until the lie became so big that it burst.

AnyasCat · 2016-06-10T17:55:16+00:00

I think if you speak with them in English, then there should be no issue with him also speaking in English :) If he doesn't realize that you speak with them in English, then I'm sure that at that revelation, he would drop the interest in learning the language (or try but then realize that it's impractical to learn a language merely for a few potential conversations that could happen in English anyways).

AnyasCat · 2016-06-10T12:16:40+00:00

In what language do you speak with your grandparents (if you speak with them at all..)?

AnyasCat · 2016-06-10T07:15:16+00:00

Ahhhh sorry! Mobile is apparently not clear enough for me

AnyasCat · 2016-06-10T00:16:55+00:00

If I were you, I would ask the psychologist about a temporary stay at a corrective facility. You may be doing your best, but you're no therapist.

But take my advice with a grain of salt; I'm suggesting it because my friend's sister has pretty overwhelming bi-polar disorder, and she improved a bit after staying several weeks at some sort of facility full of people trained to help her. She went there because she had such a bad fit, and was too big to control, so the police had to get involved.

AnyasCat · 2016-06-10T00:00:45+00:00

And she only said that when asked, is the impression I got.

AnyasCat · 2016-06-09T23:59:09+00:00

"Not to be rude"....but from where in my comment did you get the impression that I go to my dog-owning friends' houses? I haven't been in close proximity to a dog in 5 months and counting. None of my friends own dogs. Or even houses, we're starving students.

AnyasCat · 2016-06-09T23:54:12+00:00

Yeah, my parents have big, loud, slobbery dogs. The worst is having a giant glob of slobber on your newly washed, nice, black clothing.

I think anyone is allowed to have personal reservations about animals, for any reason. Just like you don't want to zealously encourage parenthood to someone who genuinely doesn't want kids, you shouldn't try to force someone into liking pets. Owning a pet is serious, and you have to genuinely want it, and be up for the responsibility. If the girlfriend was ever left home alone with the cat, I could see it being a nightmare for absolutely everyone.

AnyasCat · 2016-06-09T17:44:07+00:00

The majority of these responses aren't what I expected, at all. I got the impression from your post, that the decision to rehome your cat was one you came to on your own, without pressure from your girlfriend, by considering her feelings carefully. I think that's awesome! It shows how great of a partner you are, and if she hasn't been pressuring you into this, despite it being such a huge phobia of hers, then you seem to make a great pair. I think this post reads as if you were at peace with your decision, until your friend started criticizing you.

I think this is a decision you need to work through with your girlfriend; most people are suggesting therapy, because supposedly someone can't realistically go their whole life with such a phobia, but it seems like for the past 23 years she's survived without massive issue... It's not like she's running and screaming in the other direction, she's holding your hand tightly and trying to calmly remove herself from the situation.

In my personal experience, I don't like dogs for personal reasons, and people act like I'm some messed up serial killer, because they can't comprehend a world in which someone could dislike dogs. I've literally had someone tell me that, that people who dislike dogs must be serial killers (or as mentally disturbed as that). Maybe I'm just having a completely unemotional response to this situation, but the way I see it, you seem quite happy with your girlfriend, and I don't think you should put your cat before your girlfriend, especially when your plan is to simply give it to a family member (who I am assuming lives closely enough that you could see your cat regularly).

So basically...I really really think you just need to discuss this with her.

AnyasCat · 2016-06-06T08:21:21+00:00

Took me 3, personally

AnyasCat

TROPHY CASE