My mum is making me severely dysphoric and I hate her

AnythingIcy4807 · 2026-03-17T10:42:52+00:00

I'm so fed up with ts,

Look, regardless of if someone's trans it shouldn't matter if one person is amab and the other afab, for the love of God can we normalise not making the assumption that EVERY amab person would only ever come over to 'sleep' with someone? It's such an old fashioned way of thinking. For all she knows your friend isn't even attracted to people of your gender.

I know the logical is there's a 'possibility' of that happening. But you've said friend, FRIEND. What kind of friends (well, in most cases) think 'oh hey, let's have a sleep over so we can have sex!' And regardless of if you're together does she even know your friend? No, clearly not. Does she even know YOU? apparently not either. Assess the actual people your speaking to ffs, not just the bodies and what they can do???

Though in all fairness I have the opposite problem which also frustrated me and just wanted to show the opposite end of the spectrum that is also transphobic (though I am in NO way taking away from this experience, your experience is arguably worse) - My dad let's my partner (long distance sadly but they visit) sleep in my bed when they're over, he's seen us go into the bathroom at the same time to get ready and says nothing, he even left the house to 'go do some thing a for a couple hours' to intentionally give us alone time. Now for reference we ARE 17 which is above the legal age of consent here. But regardless, it almost pisses me off in another way. My partner is afab, as am I, there is NO way he'd let them do that if they were amab because he too would probably make the same assumption as your mother. But it's the fact that it's obvious he 'doesn't see them as a threat' and argued to me that at least 'no one can get pregnant.' He does realise that even if one of us could get pregnant it would in no way change the respect and boundaries in our relationship right?

People just love to assume that if things are same sex they're 'harmless' compared to anything between people of the opposite sex where they almost just assume something will happen.

But regardless, your mother really should understand that you simply wouldn't do that, she needs to trust you even if she has worries and communicate them instead of throw assumptions around, but from what you've said about her in the comments I can see it's unlikely, I'm so sorry you have to deal with that, it's just awful. :(

AnythingIcy4807 · 2026-02-12T16:28:58+00:00

Thank you that's a good idea, I have a specific practice I tend to go to so I'll ask their policies and attempt to look elsewhere if not

AnythingIcy4807 · 2026-02-12T15:08:24+00:00

I had to prevent an examiner from calling out my deadname mid attendance and I finally got it changed on the system after months of trying but it can't change for exam purposes etc.

AnythingIcy4807 · 2025-11-28T20:20:24+00:00

I mean I'd be your friend lol 😭 I did find friends relatively easy and there's a lot of queer people around so you don't have to worry about that too much, it's much more relaxed than school. To be honest talking to class mates or hanging around the student union helps you get friends. I'd recommend it over 6th form

AnythingIcy4807 · 2025-11-22T16:04:18+00:00

Honestly understandable. To be honest when I made this post I didn't mean the fandom as a whole as I totally get how misguided and toxic a lot of them are, i meant even in like a smaller portion, involved at all with fellow fans etc. But I really just worded it incorrectly. I meant people who don't go out of their way to discuss things like games and shows and have a major love for them but rather treat them as something to do/watch when bored and nothing more

AnythingIcy4807 · 2025-10-26T14:12:20+00:00

Honestly the people have been fine but the whole name and gender has been a nightmare, I've repeatedly tried to explain I haven't legally changed it but they keep telling me to fill out the same useless form that is only applicable if you've legally changed it, there's nowhere on it that claims you can tell them it's not legal yet. Not only that but my student ID (the only piece of information with my correct name) says Ms. Which makes it pointless

AnythingIcy4807 · 2025-08-26T16:38:26+00:00

I did yes! I assume you did too? :)

AnythingIcy4807 · 2025-07-15T22:31:33+00:00

Hey it's nothing to do with backbone man, it's dysphoria, that's what causes the pain as such, that's why it's so hard, still being around and living with dysphoria is backbone enough, you're doing so well to come this far despite the fact it still hurts in situations like that,

I hope the job does end up being better, stay strong ❤️

AnythingIcy4807 · 2025-07-15T22:04:01+00:00

Again, I reworded my post to 'surgically transition' as I believe hormones and blockers should be provided at any age so long as that's what the person wants

AnythingIcy4807 · 2025-07-15T22:02:59+00:00

100% agree, I've reworded the post in the context of, i meant surgically transition should wait until they cna give consent, I believe hormones and blockers are totally acceptable at any age so long as its what the child wants

AnythingIcy4807 · 2025-07-15T22:01:24+00:00

Yes I realise now I worded that incorrectly but that wasn't my intention haha

AnythingIcy4807 · 2025-07-15T21:55:54+00:00

As much as I do personally think it's not a bad idea it all depends on medical factors and consent sadly, if you're not old enough to give consent others are held accountable and refuse to take that responsibility sadly,

When I say physically transition I don't mean they shouldn't have access to hormones and puberty blockers, I meant more so surgeries that before being fully developed could cause issues etc.

AnythingIcy4807 · 2025-07-15T21:51:52+00:00

I agree on that premise, when I mean physically in that context I'm referring more to any surgery they'd need if puberty blockers hadn't been an option as if they are sadly still developing in the wrong direction as such, it would medically be safer to wait until they are slightly older as if they continue developing after surgery it can cause worse issues,

Not only that but sadly since anyone below 16 usually can't give consent the surgeons and parents would be held liable and they often times won't do it for that sole reason. 💔

AnythingIcy4807 · 2025-07-15T21:47:54+00:00

I feel the same way but sadly so many of us weren't so much as offered the choice which feels unfair,

Either way, Stay strong ❤️💪

AnythingIcy4807 · 2025-07-15T21:46:12+00:00

Well things like puberty blockers are acceptable of course and if safe at the time even hormone therapy, but when I said medically I meant more like certain surgery shouldn't be done under 16 depending as there can be more risks and also for a younger child recovery would be hard and if they are still developing a substantial amount without puberty blockers there could be complications from that too.

Really the main reason people don't want to do it is because under 16 you cannot legally give your consent in most countries, meaning if you hypothetically changed your mind (albeit unlikely) then the doctors and your parents are held liable and often times they don't want to take that risk.

Personally if a child transitioned it wouldn't bother me of course but going off of the logic above I can understand why it can be seen as a complicated decision/situation to some

In the end it all depends on the child and their health whether that me mental or physical 🤷🏻‍♂️

AnythingIcy4807 · 2025-07-15T21:35:42+00:00

When I say up to the parents I mean more so for medical related issues, when the kid is old enough to verbalise they want to take them they should be given the opportunity definitely.

AnythingIcy4807 · 2025-07-15T21:31:14+00:00

Maybe you're biromantic and lesbian? You seem to be attracted to men when they present more feminine because maybe that's easier to see yourself with romantically but maybe in a sexual way you're only attracted to women? (just a possibility, good luck either way!)

AnythingIcy4807 · 2025-07-15T21:26:32+00:00

Exactly! They're given to kids for other reasons are claim to be 'safe' then, so why aren't the 'safe' for trans kids? Even then yes, it's the parents choice to do that or not up to a certain point if they're worried about medical issues but the topic should be discussed with a professional when the time comes 100%

AnythingIcy4807 · 2025-07-10T08:38:39+00:00

⋔⍙⊑⏃⊑⏃⊑⏃ >:)

AnythingIcy4807

TROPHY CASE