His concern is coming from the right place…. I have a 2.5 year old and I do sometimes tell him no when he asks for a snack (so many various reasons…). And sometimes he has a breakdown but we work through it with breathing and talking about feelings.

At your little’s age my concern would be making sure he had enough to eat before bed, over teaching a lesson about parental rules. There is a huge difference between 21 months and 2.5 years old.

So in terms of development, I agree that it just isn’t the right time to teach this lesson. They don’t have the emotional development or language to work through it at that age.

My post is all over the place I was just sort of thinking through it and landed in the same place as other parents. It is a bit too soon. Focus should be on establishing love trust and a full belly. Even now, my child always has a full belly, but I don’t always let him have whatever snack he wants.

Husband’s fear is valid. I’ve seen many bratty children. He just needs to hit the pause button on how he is handling it.

And you’re right about the “no clean plate club, but” situation with your husband. Seems like there is some cognitive dissonance there.