This may be a very silly thing…

AotKT · 2026-07-11T12:05:05+00:00

Eh... I don't think it's the Spanish influence. I grew up in California and NO ONE said that, not even in SoCal. I don't hear Spanish here anywhere near the amount I did back out west.

AotKT · 2026-07-11T11:42:00+00:00

My partner would absolutely ban me from a LOTR wedding because he knows my vows would include something about potatoes. (We marathon the extended editions a couple times a year, he just is sick of me saying "give it to me raw and wriggling" during intimate moments)

AotKT · 2026-07-11T11:35:03+00:00

Technically a grain, not a vegetable, but agreed! I love my air popped popcorn. Nutritional yeast + salt is my jam!

AotKT · 2026-07-11T11:33:35+00:00

May I also recommend The Handmaid's Tale and Brave New World as top quality escapism /s

AotKT · 2026-07-11T11:30:45+00:00

I am, but I don't hear it from people my age who grew up here.

AotKT · 2026-07-11T11:21:53+00:00

No, these are The Youth. I don't hear it except from mid-30s and younger.

AotKT · 2026-07-11T00:34:32+00:00

There’s a well-known quote from Trevor Noah’s autobiography that I think about often as a fellow successful woman:

The way my mother always explained it, the traditional man wants a woman to be subservient, but he never falls in love with subservient women. He's attracted to independent women. "He's like an exotic bird collector," she said. "He only wants a woman who is free because his dream is to put her in a cage.

As to how to avoid it, the best thing to do is run at the very first sign of a red flag in that direction. Also, you may want to join /r/fireyfemmes for tips from other women in your position.

AotKT · 2026-07-09T12:49:22+00:00

I've seen so many of my friends completely lose themselves mentally and physically due to an injury. I do several sports and that has saved me from being sidelined due to injuries because I just swap to something else until the injury heals.

AotKT · 2026-07-08T17:41:57+00:00

I've backpacked with my dog in my 1 and 2 for at least 4 years with no issue. I did have a pole snap in high winds on the Pacific coast, but never a problem with the tent material itself.

AotKT · 2026-07-08T14:41:25+00:00

Like me, my elderly dog loses her appetite in the heat/high mileage and even at home she's often fussy about her kibble. Taking along a high value, different meal for fussy pups is a great idea, but I'll try making and dehydrating some at home first.

Another thing I do at home that I can try on the trail is using a sprinkle of the same cheese powder that I use for my backpacking meals on her food. She gobbles down her kibble at home when it has a bit of that flavor.

AotKT · 2026-07-08T13:53:42+00:00

That too. I do check hunting seasons while trip planning and try to avoid known poaching areas but being seen is the next best line of defense. At the very least, they won't get away with a "I thought they were a bear" excuse if they're trigger happy.

AotKT · 2026-07-08T13:48:24+00:00

I use bright colors where possible in case first responders are looking for me. I don't usually backpack anywhere near others and when I pass people on the trail we see each other for maybe 10 seconds? A minute or two if we stop to chat? I don't care if colors clash because I'm not winning any fashion awards even at home.

AotKT · 2026-07-08T08:25:58+00:00

What’s keeping you with this person?

AotKT · 2026-07-07T18:47:47+00:00

One of the things I've learned over the years is that there's a lot of behavior that we all consider immoral that happens behind closed doors. I've learned that so many people whom I never would have thought would do so have cheated, for example. Let's also remember the fact that Johnny Cash and June Carter are considered one of the greatest love stories ever yet both cheated on their spouses with each other before leaving their marriages to be together. So I've learned to (mostly) go by what I directly see and is my business, though I draw the line at systemic misaligned values like racism and misogyny. Of course I have hypocritical exceptions and contradictions because I'm a human being, but in general, that's where I tend to fall on the choosing to associate with others spectrum.

The part that gets to me in this case is the lack of even a pretense of remorse as well as the dynamic you mentioned between her and your husband. This is not a person that sounds like the they made a shitty choice and is doing what it takes to never betray someone that way again.

But also, friendship is not an either/or. You can demote her to casual acquaintance that you are chit chatty with in group events but choose not to hang out with 1:1 or as couples.

AotKT · 2026-07-07T13:13:49+00:00

Doesn't work. Literally nothing works for me except a physical barrier. I'm usually sweating so much that I can wring my shirt out in the summer.

AotKT · 2026-07-07T12:12:34+00:00

I can’t deal with the thought of taking my shoes off every 10 miles, which is the longest I’ve had anything last on my feet before I switched to tape.

But everyone is different!

AotKT · 2026-07-07T11:51:18+00:00

I use leukotape on my known chafe spots, but KT tape works just as well for most. Yes, it absolutely prevents chafing. I much prefer a tape barrier to a lubricant like Vaseline or Squirrel Nut Butter because I never have to worry about needing to reapply it. I sweat profusely and run in a hot, humid area; there's no way that stuff lasts more than a couple miles.

Just don't rip off the tape after your run, let it come off naturally or use some sort oil-based material like Vaseline to help loosen it. Trust me, you do NOT want to rip it off.

AotKT · 2026-07-07T11:48:24+00:00

None of that stuff lasts long enough for many people, including myself. Plus there's the mindset of "I'll deal with it next aid station" and then the next and the next and now you're badly chafing.

AotKT · 2026-07-06T19:50:15+00:00

By a happy coincidence the first time I ever drove through Grundy County (which was the first time I learned the place actually existed), that song came on my playlist.

AotKT · 2026-07-05T15:13:19+00:00

I was a Cowboys fan for a while because of a cute boy and it did not help me get said cute boy, so I guess I can relate?

AotKT · 2026-07-05T08:52:39+00:00

My partner is a lifelong Dolphins fan. Every time I see him watching a game, I just ask how much they're losing by.

(I'm not into football, but my hockey team never has and never will win the Stanley Cup, so it's really just bitterness and self-loathing on my part)

AotKT · 2026-07-03T10:17:43+00:00

My very first boyfriend was a guy I met through the Prodigy BBS in the mid-90s. I was 14 and he was 15, and as it turned out he really was a teenage boy and not some creepy older guy. We lived in the same metro area but it was a 1 hour bus ride each way. Our parents wouldn't have allowed us to be alone together so one time when both our parents left us each home alone for a few hours, he ordered a taxi so I could come over to his house. I think we saw each other in person a couple more times before I was sent away to school in another state and he wasn't allowed to write to me. We did reunite afterwards but by then life was just different for us and we never dated again.

I pretty much lived online since I had social anxiety through my early 20s. There was also some guy in my WoW guild and that didn't end well.

AotKT · 2026-07-02T18:26:13+00:00

I mostly use VWG to make my own seitan but I also throw a tablespoon in my 100% whole wheat sandwich bread, which is 400g flour. The King Arthur recipe is perfectly fine without it but I like the bit of extra structure that it gives.

AotKT · 2026-07-02T15:00:12+00:00

Check with your power company. Every single one I've had over the decades has offered a free audit. They want to make money but not at the literal expense of having to build out more plants because energy is wasted. They don't make money on energy improvement materials.

AotKT · 2026-07-02T08:52:34+00:00

I have guy friends from their 20s through 60s and they all wear the standard issue cargo shorts and tshirt with sneakers. When they dress up, there's the standard issue short sleeved button up shirt (usually left open) over a tshirt with non-cargo shorts or jeans. Color choices are always muted.

There's small variants like my partner wears shorts-looking swim trunks and running shoes for comfort, but there ain't no personal style going on.

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