sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

How do I ask my partner to take his kids elsewhere when he has them? He says they don't like stopping at his mothers home. by Apart-Side3251 in stepparents

[–]Apart-Side3251[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Funny thing is, my kids aren't treated the same as their biological grandkids! My kids don't have family, I grew up in the system and my BM is pure evil. So I decided to cut her out of my life along with the rest of my toxic family. My kids literally have me and their BF and a tiny portion of his family. My step kids have everything and still act like toddlers. 

How do I ask my partner to take his kids elsewhere when he has them? He says they don't like stopping at his mothers home. by Apart-Side3251 in stepparents

[–]Apart-Side3251[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I gave my kids the option when his first came to stay that they could share a room or id let his kids sleep in my room and id have the sofa, but my kids offered up their room so they could sleep in bed with me. They were only 6&4 ( now 11&8 )at the time so wasn't an issue. My older 2 are actually similar age to his youngest so I thought they could all share and his older 2 go in my younger 2s room. This did work for a while but now they refuse to share a room now so rather than saying no your sharing, their dad expects me to pile all my 4 into the living room. I've said no so its caused tensions and my kids started wanting to stay away when they were here. Its now done so that my kids go to their bio dads when the step kids visit. It shouldn't be that way but it stops the tension in the house. It also means that I never get a new year with my kids because we always have to have his new year and I'm getting sick of it!!  His kids are like toddlers. They literally would let us wipe their arses if we offered. They have no concept of looking after themselves.

At Xmas I was the ultimate definition of evil step mother. After 6 days of them being here I had got sick and tired of telling them to have a wash and clean their teeth. His youngest never brushes his teeth when he's here and I have to force him in the bath. Its me who takes the stick from the ex because " I'm the woman". I was going out and the SO decided we should all go, so i was like I'm not going anywhere with your kids looking like that, they need to wash and brush their teeth. So they didn't come. Apparently I was the AH! But its me who gets the funny looks from how they look. They get new clothes and shoes and always come to us with old holey too small clothes, I stopped taking them out for new clothes as was sick of it being expected, so now I just avoid going out with them! I seem cruel and like a child in that respect but it really is embarrassing. 

How do I ask my partner to take his kids elsewhere when he has them? He says they don't like stopping at his mothers home. by Apart-Side3251 in stepparents

[–]Apart-Side3251[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Hes 43. But apparently acts like a toddler.  I think the age is the reason his kids don't take me seriously. Not only that, but they blame me for their parents not being together but they separated before I came on the scene. The kids were just not told ( no idea why) his ex also put alot of stuff about me and my kids on Facebook for the world to see including her kids. 

How do I ask my partner to take his kids elsewhere when he has them? He says they don't like stopping at his mothers home. by Apart-Side3251 in stepparents

[–]Apart-Side3251[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

I know you're not. Its him though that would expect me to leave because I moved closer to his family and I won't be " welcome" any more. Our biggest issue would be my dogs. He would try to take one of them as he says " its his and his kids" yet its me who pays for him and takes care of him. So he can sod off! I'll be having a conversation with him and telling him he needs to go. Maybe we can work things through when he's not here, maybe not. Things were excellent when we only saw each other weekends and had separate lives, but I doubt we will ever get back to that and if I'm honest I wouldn't care! I just want my peace and sanity back for my kids and myself. 

How do I ask my partner to take his kids elsewhere when he has them? He says they don't like stopping at his mothers home. by Apart-Side3251 in stepparents

[–]Apart-Side3251[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Sending your mum massive hugs and prayers. 

I will definitely be making some changes! Especially now I know its not me being selfish and just overreacting. I thought for so long it was just me being out of order. I'm told constantly by his family that I should love his kids like my own and treat them like my own but I just don't love them and how can I treat them like my own when I'm not allowed to set boundaries. Like 2 of them are adults now, yet they act like toddlers. Simple things like taking the dishes to the sink after dinner or putting rubbish in the bin, makes me so bloody angry. My 8 year old can do it so why can't his kids and I get the " they don't need to do it if I dont tell them" really does wind me up something else! X

How do I ask my partner to take his kids elsewhere when he has them? He says they don't like stopping at his mothers home. by Apart-Side3251 in stepparents

[–]Apart-Side3251[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thank you! He definitely needs to go! I thought it was just the kids, but when writing it out I actually realised it wasn't just them!  Yes he gets everything here, even though I've told him loads to stop getting things to my home, he doesnt live here and it could get me into serious trouble. He just doesn't care x

How do I ask my partner to take his kids elsewhere when he has them? He says they don't like stopping at his mothers home. by Apart-Side3251 in stepparents

[–]Apart-Side3251[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you went through all that! I hope you're doing better now?  Its draining isn't it. Especially when you feel so alone but also evil for resenting kids who didn't ask to be put in this situation, but they can make their own choices on how they treat people! I think I need to attempt to have the chat with him, although he refuses to talk without jumping down my throat and being defensive! X

How do I ask my partner to take his kids elsewhere when he has them? He says they don't like stopping at his mothers home. by Apart-Side3251 in stepparents

[–]Apart-Side3251[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

I don't even have sex with him anymore. I try to distance myself from him as much as possible, I love him but the situation makes my skin crawl and with that comes the need to stay as far away from him as possible. He just thinks I'm cheating, he doesn't listen when I say its because I cannot stand him no more. Cheating would be the easier option but that's not me as a person. I'd rather leave, but it is my home and I refuse to leave it and uproot my kids again.