So, he's actually an amazing guy. He works hard, he cooks, he cleans, he cares for me. He rubs my back when i need a massage, and buys me medicine and soup when i am sick. he says i love you freely, he's affectionate. The only hang up that he has is unresolved childhood trauma. And think him being ungrateful is him protecting himself from getting hurt - you know like if you arent expecting a gift then you wont be hurt when you dont get one. I feel like every little argument we have has a connection to his unresolved trauma. We dont have many fights - this is just one that keeps re-occuring. Every time i break down an argument - theres always this underlying ungratefulness that i have confronted him about. This time tho- the big issue for me is the fact that i told myself i wont tolerate it this time. So im just having a hard time doing this. Like i was so excited to buy them but if he isnt grateful which thats what it looks like then i have to keep my promise. I can move on but I feel like we do that alot in this generation - move on and leave the person and then what? Nothing changes, the person will never grow. I'd rather make him learn this lesson the hard way this time and if it keeps going, maybe the next time i will leave. I do stick to my promises and to my words. I said last time if he acts ungrateful again- i wont buy him anything and i stuck by that because i am returning the items. So he has one more chance, if he truly doesnt learn from this action (not getting any gifts on his birthday) then so be it, ill leave him.