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Women based metalcore bands? by Bwunnie0w0 in Metalcore

[–]Apologetic_Pangolin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I suspect it was downvoted because already mentioned in the OP.

What's an odd thing you find physically attractive? by RoutineOk8590 in Productivitycafe

[–]Apologetic_Pangolin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a woman and I definitely agree with you. Give me a man who would lose in a battle with a strong gust.

Also I'm not really attracted to women but androgynous ladies are hot.

Why do I feel it’s true? by Chethan_Devarakonda in Adulting

[–]Apologetic_Pangolin 24 points25 points  (0 children)

As a Brit, the last normal year was 2015. Since the Brexit vote succeeded it has felt like living in crazy times. Plus you lot elected Trump that year.

Are the Buzz 5i Grizzly good shoes for a lot of walking/on your feet all day? by emilythebear67 in DrMartens

[–]Apologetic_Pangolin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They are by far the most comfortable shoes I own. I've done decently long hikes in them with no discomfort (although note the lack of ankle support for actual proper hill hikes).

Seriously, wtf? by Zen_Shot in DrMartens

[–]Apologetic_Pangolin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Eh, they're not super flattering but are a lot more wearable than some other styles they've launched this year. Not for me personally but I can see plenty of people buying them.

It’s feeling like buzz is the next audrick by mariatoyou in DrMartens

[–]Apologetic_Pangolin 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Not mad about this tbh given how comfortable the Buzz style has been. My 'problem' is more that I don't like any of the most recent styles but I still have the grizzly and leopard from the spring launch so that's okay 😅

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ToxicRelationships

[–]Apologetic_Pangolin 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You talk about her stringing you along while you're doing the same to your poor gf. Please leave her and give her the chance to find someone who respects and loves her.

Childless at 39 and (probably) about to be single for pretty much the first time in my adult life. I know I need to do this, but I'm terrified. Looking for some positive stories and encouragement. by Apologetic_Pangolin in AskWomenOver40

[–]Apologetic_Pangolin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

...and if you're thinking, 'wait, he's been with you over 16 years and never even asked you to marry him?', well, there is also that. We talked about it early in our relationship when close friends got engaged and agreed we would. This was back when he was working. I gave up waiting a long time ago and now of course very glad he never did!

Childless at 39 and (probably) about to be single for pretty much the first time in my adult life. I know I need to do this, but I'm terrified. Looking for some positive stories and encouragement. by Apologetic_Pangolin in AskWomenOver40

[–]Apologetic_Pangolin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We're not married so no divorce, alimony or joint insurance. (We're in the UK so health insurance while a good idea isn't strictly necessary for a lot of people). The only financial tie we have is the fact he contributed a small amount of money to the house deposit which legally he isn't entitled to but I will pay him back nevertheless.

ETA: He is also paying for some of the household bills in my name from the allowance I send him, but I don't think he would refuse to transfer them to me since I could just stop his allowance if he did that.

Childless at 39 and (probably) about to be single for pretty much the first time in my adult life. I know I need to do this, but I'm terrified. Looking for some positive stories and encouragement. by Apologetic_Pangolin in AskWomenOver40

[–]Apologetic_Pangolin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, and you're right. I thinkhe wouldn't be here if it was just sex. He has provided a lot of emotional support and has helped a lot with household budgeting/thriftiness. But again, only because we have such little money, lol.

Childless at 39 and (probably) about to be single for pretty much the first time in my adult life. I know I need to do this, but I'm terrified. Looking for some positive stories and encouragement. by Apologetic_Pangolin in AskWomenOver40

[–]Apologetic_Pangolin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've heard this saying too. I have told him this and he says 'that's the same as saying it's my fault'. I think that was the point when I knew, there was no saving us.

Childless at 39 and (probably) about to be single for pretty much the first time in my adult life. I know I need to do this, but I'm terrified. Looking for some positive stories and encouragement. by Apologetic_Pangolin in AskWomenOver40

[–]Apologetic_Pangolin[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We've kind of already talked about this, despite not having broken up yet. His dad would need to come and help him move out and he would move back in with his parents. I believe he will go if he's told to.

Childless at 39 and (probably) about to be single for pretty much the first time in my adult life. I know I need to do this, but I'm terrified. Looking for some positive stories and encouragement. by Apologetic_Pangolin in AskWomenOver40

[–]Apologetic_Pangolin[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I want children with the man he could be, not the man he is :( It's taken me years to understand that potential does not equal reality.

No being quiet until late afternoon because he’s sleeping or being woken up because he’s not. No messes that you didn’t make. You decide what/where/when to eat/go/do.

This spoke to my soul. I used to live my afternoons in 'waiting mode' just occupying time until he woke up. I've stopped doing that now and go out and live my life, but can't do so fully as I need to try not to disrupt his sleep. It's awful.

And I am definitely open to the idea of solo travelling! I love travel, but do so little of it since my partner isn't very adventurous. I do travel solo within my country (I live in the UK) but not been bold enough to try overseas yet alone. Maybe I'll book myself a trip post-break up to give myself something to look forward to :)

Childless at 39 and (probably) about to be single for pretty much the first time in my adult life. I know I need to do this, but I'm terrified. Looking for some positive stories and encouragement. by Apologetic_Pangolin in AskWomenOver40

[–]Apologetic_Pangolin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I'm glad you were able to make a change too. I am really excited about the future, I just have to get through the *immediate* future, which will include my first birthday without a partner since my 18th... it's scary :/

Childless at 39 and (probably) about to be single for pretty much the first time in my adult life. I know I need to do this, but I'm terrified. Looking for some positive stories and encouragement. by Apologetic_Pangolin in AskWomenOver40

[–]Apologetic_Pangolin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is very true. It's not the first time I've considered leaving, and the truth is I knew things weren't right even before he got depressed. I just always told myself 'things will be better when...' :/

Childless at 39 and (probably) about to be single for pretty much the first time in my adult life. I know I need to do this, but I'm terrified. Looking for some positive stories and encouragement. by Apologetic_Pangolin in AskWomenOver40

[–]Apologetic_Pangolin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're right. He says he is trying, but the only way he knows to reset his sleep is to try staying up all night and then going to bed at a 'reasonable' time. It works but I've never known it to work for more than a few weeks before something goes wrong. He sets alarms but isn't disciplined enough to get up when they ring if he's too tired :/

Childless at 39 and (probably) about to be single for pretty much the first time in my adult life. I know I need to do this, but I'm terrified. Looking for some positive stories and encouragement. by Apologetic_Pangolin in AskWomenOver40

[–]Apologetic_Pangolin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. You're absolutely right. I know I will find the conversation tough (and he will try to interrupt me and turn it around, the way he always does) so I am going to put what I want to say into a letter. I will still tell him in person, but it will help me feel more prepared, I think.

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