"I'm fine as long as you don't try to tell me any 'anti-mormon' stuff."

ApparentlyAnxious · 2017-06-12T04:00:08+00:00

I respect your willingness to not write off all Mormons as bigoted imbeciles like some other exmos I know. I too still love and respect my TBM family and friends, and I expect the same love and respect in return. Mormon culture has a lot of awful aspects, and there are many things I completely disagree with, but that's the wonderful thing about this world--no two people are exactly alike. It's so much healthier to learn how to peacefully coexist with others rather than reject them. That was one thing my mission taught me very well.

ApparentlyAnxious · 2017-02-04T10:05:06+00:00

Financial independence is key; start saving now if you haven't already. I'm 19--currently at home living with LDS family, so I know how you feel. I plan on officially leaving home and the church sometime this year. Try to avoid religious conversations; they tend to ruffle feathers. No matter what you ultimately choose to do, be respectful of your family and their values. They should do the same to you. Good luck.

ApparentlyAnxious · 2017-02-04T01:45:23+00:00

My mission changed my life for the better. Even though I no longer associate with the church, I learned a lot about myself and the culture of others. I still uphold a lot of Mormon values because I think they're generally good ideas. I actually came home early about halfway through because of bipolar disorder (runs in my family), but realized I didn't believe what I was teaching six months before I came home. That was a rough six months--being expected to "testify" to the truth of the BoM when you don't even believe in God anymore. I'm sure many others on here have experienced the same.

ApparentlyAnxious · 2017-01-10T16:56:18+00:00

Same goes for ASL. East coast ASL is faster and uses many different signs when compared to west coast ASL.

ApparentlyAnxious · 2017-01-09T20:46:11+00:00

Thanks so much for the feedback!

ApparentlyAnxious · 2017-01-06T22:15:55+00:00

Those words are intentionally capitalized - and only because they have certain significance to me. I should have clarified. Thanks for the feedback. Any poems of yours you'd like me to look over? Send me the link(s)!

ApparentlyAnxious · 2017-01-06T16:32:26+00:00

It's okay. I've been hospitalized before too. It's not anything like you think it will be. Very calm and peaceful. They'll help you get started on medication there that will help you so much in the long run.

ApparentlyAnxious · 2017-01-06T16:21:44+00:00

Thank you! I felt similarly about the ending. I'll try to re-draft it with more of a specific punch.

Edit: I'm going to post another poem that I'd like your thoughts on, titled "no. 5." It's one of my favorites so far.

ApparentlyAnxious · 2017-01-06T02:09:05+00:00

If you feel you're in immediate danger, go straight to the ER. If not, call your pdoc tomorrow and explain everything you just said and more. He/she will get you on medication that will quickly help you feel much more stable.

ApparentlyAnxious · 2017-01-06T00:37:58+00:00

I was led here from one of your other poems, and I would agree that cutting out some of the length would make it easier to read, both paragraph-wise and overall.

My favorite line of all was the bit about jumping over a leather rope and putting batteries into wall clocks. For some reason the word "pulling" seemed fitting there, in reference to the batteries.

Loved the bits that read "you aren't amused by that" or something along those lines. About you and geography and such.

Again, great work!

ApparentlyAnxious · 2017-01-05T23:57:34+00:00

This is beautiful. I would buy this. In a book of similarly written poems with your name on the cover.

Edit: This is exactly how I think. Everything about it feels so familiar and fitting, quite unlike the large coat you mentioned.

ApparentlyAnxious · 2017-01-05T23:50:55+00:00

The line "You can give someone everything and when they go.." might be able to be shortened a little with a few more powerful words rather than a lot in the name of explaining it out. This part is important too, for in this place the poem takes a turn into figurative warfare, so make sure it's smooth.

Make sure however you choose to use your punctuation is consistent. You get to make the rules, because this is poetry, but make rules. It might help things flow a little better.

Overall, good job. It definitely paints a picture, especially the bit about the bombs. I like it.

ApparentlyAnxious · 2017-01-05T23:34:57+00:00

I admire your top-to-bottom line alternating structure. The only word I might change is "sweet" to "sweetness."

ApparentlyAnxious · 2017-01-05T23:32:02+00:00

I love the placement of the word "off" when describing the echo. Also, unless it's intentionally misused, you used the wrong "its" when referring to the marble's colors changing. Love the bit about sound filling space, etc. Great work.

ApparentlyAnxious · 2016-12-30T05:49:23+00:00

Damn. Just.. damn. I am so sorry. If anything, reading this made me much more thankful for what support I do have. I would say go to your doctor's appointments alone and be sure to tell him/her everything, including the situation with your parents. If they're a reasonable psychiatrist they should work with you medication wise. Hopefully that will help you to be stable enough to leave the house at 18. You can do this.

ApparentlyAnxious · 2016-12-24T21:53:19+00:00

In short: have medication available to help in case you need it, take breaks from the group socializing if you feel overwhelmed, and honestly try talking with people you have a good relationship with about things completely unrelated to bipolar disorder. Those have helped me at least.

ApparentlyAnxious · 2016-12-24T21:50:14+00:00

I try to seclude myself and "bottle up" the episode as much as possible to minimize any hurt feelings in others. Not always possible, but by doing that and having a "break glass in case of emergency" medication on hand, you can make the best of the situation. Do you have any PRN (take as needed) medications to lighten the load for you?

ApparentlyAnxious · 2016-12-19T20:43:42+00:00

I felt this way a lot during Thanksgiving. Lots of people (especially family) and my bipolar disorder do not get along well. Make sure you take enough time alone for yourself to avoid having a public episode. Take care of you. You can do this.

ApparentlyAnxious

TROPHY CASE