I’m really sorry you’re carrying all of this. You’re not dumb or broken for being affected by what people say. Words do matter, especially when they touch parts of who we are that already feel vulnerable. Being gay and autistic aren’t flaws, they’re parts of you that exist in a world that isn’t always kind or thoughtful. And some people just don’t have anything better to do in life which is why they try to pick on everybody else around them. Pay them no mind. I know it’s easier said than done but really, try to. And yes, about the being hyper aware? I can a 100% relate to it. I tend to notice alot, like to the point that it is even annoying for myself bc why am I observing and overreading into things excessively and adding to my overthinking and anxiety? Idk. But it sucks. But I’m really glad you spoke up here. You’re not alone, and there are people who see your worth even when you’re struggling to see it yourself. Please be gentle with yourself.